Loving me

She Broke

"She's been through more hell than you'll ever know. But, that's what gives her beauty edge... You can't touch a woman who wears pain like the grandest of diamonds around her neck." Alfa

Vanessa and I are in the kitchen making breakfast, enjoying our long weekend off. We have been talking about what we have been doing for the past few days, since we haven't had the chance to see each other.

"I went to the mall with Cara. I had so much fun. I love hanging with her. I got a coffee and a breakfast sandwich, which she was surprise. I..." I was cut off by Alex.

"Oh god. It's a long weekend, couldn't you have stayed at your house instead of coming here to annoy us." He walks passed me and goes and sits on the kitchen stool. I turn to my conversation with Vanessa.

I ignore him because this isn't new to me.

"As I was saying, I went to my favorite store and I bought all..."

"We get it princess you bought the whole store." He says, I feel him rolling his eyes.

"La la la la la. You with words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me." I start singing, pretending that he is not here. "You have knocked me of my feet again, got me feeling like I'm nothing." I stop singing and I look at Vanessa. "Don't you love this song, I love it because it reminds me to stop worrying about the opinion of assholes who believe that they have to right to judge someone with out getting to know them."

"Oh I know you, you are an annoying little ungrateful spoiled brat, an attention seeker."

"It baffles me how a person can think that making someone feel less of themselves makes them stronger. To me that is what I call 'weak'." I turn to look at him straight in the eyes.

"You fucking bitch. You are so fucking annoying. I don't know how someone hasn't beaten the shit out of you." He gets closer to me.

"Because everyone that really knows me likes me and if they don't like what I say then they can easily walk away."

"I swear sometimes I want to beat the shit out of you. That stupid smart mouth makes people hate you." When he says 'beat' I am suddenly consumed by anger.

"Why don't you." I look at him, so he can see that I'm not backing down.

"Because you are a fucking girl."

"That hasn't stop other men."

"I fucking want to punch you, so you can shut the fuck up for once and for all."

"Then do it." I want to cry, how can he say that, we just ended our arrangement a few days ago.

He pulls his hand back and he looks like his is ready to swing when I see Vanessa take his arm.

"Don't you dare. If that thought ever crossed your mind than you are not who I thought you were." I have never heard Vanessa's voice so angry.

Tears start pooling in my eyes.

"You were really going to do it?" I ask in a small voice.

Vanessa hugs me and starts soothing my hair.
"Don't worry Mimi, I will always keep you safe." That's right Vane will always keep me safe. Just like I will always keep her safe.

"What are you going to do when she is gone? One day she is going to get tired of you, just like everybody else." He walks closer to us. "I mean your dad left you once, what makes you think that someone that shares no blood with you would want to stay." He turns to leave not before adding one more cut. "At some point you become worthless."

Worthless

Worthless

He

Will

Leave

You

Just

Like

Us

I wake up hearing a scream, but it is coming from me. I get up from the bed and I make my way to the way the scream is coming from.

Anna's room.

I don't bother to knock I just make my way to her bed.

"Anna. Wake up. You are having a nightmare." I say as I start shaking her, hoping to get her to wake up.

When she finally wakes up, she turns to look at me, tears rolling down her eyes.

"He was here. I saw him. He came for me, he found me." She says with so much desperation in her voice.

"Anna. What are you talking about? Who is 'he'?" I question her.

"The reason I left home." He breathing has calmed down.

"I don't understand." I am confused.

"Growing up I always knew this man that my dad called his friend. He was very nice to me, he would always buy me a present when ever he came to visit my dad." She takes a deep breath. " I loved him as an uncle, someone that I looked up too. When I turned 18 I received a call from him telling me that he had my birthday present. He asked me to meet him at his apartment, I saw nothing wrong, he was like an uncle to me." I look at her and I see that her mind has transported her to that time in her life. "I went over and he told me to come in, he wanted to catch up. Again, I saw nothing wrong. When I got in I sat in the couch, he sat next to me. He put him hand on my knee and I pulled it away. I felt uncomfortable, so I told him that I was going home. I no longer cared about the present. When he saw that I was ready to leave, he grabbed my arm and pulled me to him." Her breathing starts to pick up. I want her to stop, but I know that she needs to let it out.

"I tried pushing him away, but I was weaker than him. He then took me to his room and..."

She doesn't finish, but I know what happened next.

"Anna? Did you tell your parents?" I ask her.

"Yes. But he told them that I had been hitting on him and that he had always told me to stop. He told them that I said that if he didn't sleep with me that I was going to lie to them. They believed him. They thought it was one of my tantrums." She grabs my shirt. "I swear he did it."

"I believe you."

"Yesterday, while I was getting out of class, he came up to me. He found me. I left my home because I didn't feel safe and now he has found me." She is still sobbing.

"You are strong, Anna. If tomorrow he comes close to you again, tell him that you have proof of that night and that you aren't a little defenseless girl and that you will call the police."

"I can't. He will do it again." She looks so scared. I wish I can take the pain away, I wish I could just make her forget, but just like me, it is impossible.

Since the day that Cassia and I met Anna we knew something was wrong. She was always flinching when a guy would come close to her. I always knew that we both went through something similar, I still flinch when I am touched by surprise or without permission. I was surprised with myself when I noticed how comfortable I was with Enzo's touch.

It never crossed my mind that she was raped. Who would want to hurt her? She has always talked about how much she loved her family and friends. She talked to me about her future plans, to get her dream job, to find the right man. How can someone so full of life be tormented by a horrible past.