Loving me

His Truth

I have had this hidden... lol. This chapter is to get a better understanding of what Alex went through. This chapter takes place a little before Mia goes back to Cali. Enjoy

Alexander POV

"I just want you to know that amongst my demons, you were the hardest to battle." (P.S)

I make my way out of my parents house, when I bump into Mia's brother, Kenan. Kenan is a boy version of Mia, same eyes, same color hair, and same attitude, the only difference is that he is big for his age, while Mia was small for her age.

"Hello, Kenan. Back from school?" I ask him. Kenan and I bump into each other every afternoon after I visit my mom. We talk, he tells me about his day and I give him a child appropriate version of mine. He is the only person in Mia's old life that talks to me.

"Yeah. My life sucks." He says to me. He has told me that he is getting tired of his parents. He tells me this because they keep things from him, to protect him, they say that he is too young to understand. I remember many conversations with Mia about this, too. She would tell me that children are smarter than they let out, that parents think that their children don't know what goes on around them, but they do.

"What happened this time?" I ask.

"I want to write to Mia but my parents won't let me, I want my sister back and I know that if I write to her, she will come back. My parents say that I need to give her time. Time? Time for what? They won't tell me what happened, all I know is that one day my sister was happy and the next she was a sad stranger living with us." He sounds mad as he speaks. "All I want to know is why." I put my hand over his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Kenan." I whisper to him.

"Don't be sorry, it wasn't your fault."

"No, Kenan, it is my fault." I take a deep breath before I continue. "I was the reason your sister left Cali."

Kenan pushes my hand away from him.

"What do you mean?" His voice is raspy.

"Your sister and I had a secret relationship but I broke her heart."

"But that's not a good enough reason to leave her family, her best friend."

That's it, I'm telling him the truth. All of it.

"Remember when your sister and I were in that car accident?" He nods his head. "She was pregnant. I was taking her to the doctor because I didn't believe her, but I lost control of the car. We made it to the hospital, but in an ambulance." I take a deep breath. "By the time I was conscious, your parents were deciding whether to let your sister go through with the pregnancy or terminated. Your sister was at risk of dying in child birth if she had gone through with the pregnancy. Kenan, when I heard your mom telling the doctors that she couldn't make the decision, I walked up to them and I said it was my choice since it was my child and the love of my life. I didn't sleep for three days, all I could think about is losing the girl that I have loved since I was six or the child that was a part of me, and whom I had learned to love in those few days." I can't believe I'm finally saying everything that I have had bottled up for the past four years. "After those three days I went to the doctor who was taking care of your sister and I told him that I wanted the pregnancy to be terminated." My voice sounds shaky. I'm ready to cry. "After they finished the surgery I sat with your sister everyday and night, holding her hand and asking for forgiveness. When she woke up and was told about what I had done, she looked at me with so much hate in her eyes that I still can't get over." After I was done, I couldn't look at him. I couldn't look at him and see Mia's eyes. I'm sure Kenan's eyes show the same hate that I once saw in Mia's eyes.

"But she got better. I remember that it took some time but she got better. What happened after that?" The question I've been dreading hear.

"The man, who I once called my father, tried to take advantage of her." The first time that I have ever said it out loud.

The man that I once looked up to is now the one who makes me feel disgusted with myself. Not only for sharing his blood but for being like him. I forced and manipulated Mia into giving herself to me.

"That's why she left? Because it was too much bullshit pulled on her by your family?" He doesn't sound angry. He sounds like a boy wanting explanations. "If you loved her the way you said you did, why didn't you convince her to stay?"

"She was going to stay if I had said the 3 words that she had been wanting to hear. I wanted to say 'I love you.' But I knew that once she heard them she was going to know the truth. She was going to know that I had loved her since we met, that the reason I said that I hated her was because she always talked about her Prince Charming and I knew I wasn't him. I was mad other boys had kissed her before me, but back then I didn't know they were by force." I didn't know that when she talked about those boys that she was hurting. If I had known. "If I had told her how I felt she would have figured out that I loved our angle just as much as she did. But she was right, our daughter wouldn't have been happy with me. I get angry very easily, I go from zero to hundred in seconds. They both don't deserve that, now I have to live life knowing that she is out there somewhere being happy and being the old Mia." I finish my sentence with a sign.

"Kenan! What are you still doing out there?!" We both turn to see Mrs. Belmonte walking out of her house with Xavier behind her. "I have told you many times before to come straight home." She sounds mad.

"No. You have told me to not talk to the Parra family." Kenan responds. Of course she said that, why risk another kid get hurt by the same family. "I'll see you tomorrow. I want you to tell me more." I am taken back by him. Why does he want to know how I fucked up his sister's life.

I smile at him and then I turn to Xavier.

"Nice to see you again, Xavier."

"Don't talk to me, we aren't friends."

"I know and I'm sorry." I look down at the floor.

"Saying sorry won't bring my sister back." I know he is right.

"How do you know?" Asks Kenan.

"Because I slept in the same bed with my sister every night, she talked in her sleep, and cried." That's why he hates me, he has known all along.

Yes this was Alexander. You got to see a little of what he went through and what he is going through. He didn't get much into the topic but he no longer has communication with his dad. Vanessa is coming up in his next point of view.