This Is It • Meanie

9장

4 days later, 03:24AM

Seokmin sighed deeply, gulping down all the content in the beer bottle. He looked longingly at the dark sky, making Soonyoung look at him curiously.

"What are you thinking?"

"...About Chan.. I wonder whether he's sleeping well despite the situation nowadays.." He let out another heavy sigh, earning a chuckle from the other.

Soonyoung then took a few sips of the cheap beer, letting the bitter taste stay on his tongue as he took a big bite of the Chocopie in his hand.

After swallowing down the food, he smiled sadly, swirling the bottle in circles as the transperent liquid inside followed.

"You know, maybe Jihoon isn't really for me-"

"-what do you mean by that?! I thought everything was already fine?!" Seokmin said as he looked at the male in horror, receiving a shook of the head in return.

"No, nothing was ever fine. Sure, he have been approaching me and doing everything for us but it's just a piece that's missing..." His eyes started tearing up.

"The love isn't there. I know he's doing it for the sake of our relationship, and he has been getting much more moody ever since Dahyun and the gang appeared. I can't talk to him without getting hit or insulted, can't even touch him or show some attitude to him or else he'll get mad."

"Fuck, what did I even do wrong? He has been avoiding me too, and have been sleeping in Mingyu's room too."

Angrily, the tears slipped out of his eyes, causing him to drop the Chocopie and bottle weakly onto the dirty ground. He covered his face with his left palm, which was clean, and let out a few breathless noises before crying harder than before.

"Soonyoung-ah...."

"N-no, don't even say it. I know I'm an asshole and dumb man, but you can't possibly expect me to know what's on his mind! It's h-hard, because I have to satisfy him all the time and I'm getting tired!!"

Soonyoung hugged his knees and looked towards the front, letting his best friend watch him cry like a baby.

"I-i'm not even strong.. I'm fragile and weak... I hate myself! I've only got looks and words, nothing else... To Jihoon, I'm just a piece of trash. Something that's nonsensical and can be created again or destroyed. Fuck, I JUST HATE MYSELF!"

"Y-yah! Don't say that, that's not true! You are a strong person, okay?! Look, you've survived for like.. 5 years! You stood proudly and happily beside your man, SO YOU CAN'T JUST LET GO OF YOURSELF LIKE THIS-"

"-BUT WHY WOULD HE LOVE ME?! I'M JUST A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT! I CAN'T DO THINGS PROPERLY! I HURT HIM, MAN! I HURT HIM SO BADLY.... I HURT HIM BUT HE'S STILL WITH ME BECAUSE HE'S WORRIED THAT I'LL GO OUT OF CONTROL!!"

Seokmin bit on his bottom lip, tears threatening to come out of his eyes as the other shouted and cried in the dark morning. He put down his beer bottle, and went closer to his best friend, pulling him into a comforting hug.

"Stop... Just cry and let it all out, I'm here. I have always been here for you...."

And Soonyoung did cry, on Seokmin's shoulder as his head started to spin around and it pounded painfully.

"I-i love him.... I really do... And it hurt me so badly when he rejected me... It hurts... My heart hurts... My brain hurts... Everywhere hurts... I just want his love-......."

Suddenly, all the noises from the crying male stopped. Seokmin could feel the male still breathing, but his body turned hot and feverish. No, no this can't be. He fainted, oh shit.

"Fuck! Soonyoung!! SOONYOUNG! WAKE UP, MAN! SHIT!!!"

-
So I'm pretty emo so that's why this is an EMO CHAPTER-

lol actually every chapter is EMO.

Anyways, have you guys noticed that Seokmin has been the one dealing with UNEXPECTED shits?

When Seungcheol hyperventilated(?)..

And then now, Soonyoung fainted.

Damn.

Next chapter will come pretty soon, I'm updating two chapters in a row.

-Mimi