That one summer, a strange love

Will I ever understand, find any sense or get any answers why certain things in life happen? Why we choose the wrong ways and people ? Or why we can't just change things?..... Well, I don't know.

I am just a normal girl, living a normal life, in a small town outside Georgia , that loves to go out with Friends , loves to go Shopping and also ,  I have a Big dream,I want to become a dancer! A Professionell  Dancer at one of the most well known Dance Academies nation wide!  Well that's what I had planned my entire life until that one summer!

It all started with a letter I got, The letter I was waiting for so long!  I applied for the dance Academy way back and I was already so excited to and ready to start this new chapter in my life, but all my dreams and hopes crushed into pieces the second i opened it..

Dear Mrs. Smith

we regret to inform you ...
I didn't even finished reading. I already knew what that first few words mean!
Why now? Why right before we were heading on vacation to Europe? Why me? I was so disappointed, so mad ! Why does this always happen to me!?

Mom told me to start packing for our vacation trip with my dad and my sister Emily. I really wasn't in the mood to go anywhere anymore, or do anything at all since I got that letter from the dance academy. It was my dream! Dancing was my life and everything I wanted to do since I could walk.I felt so lost and depressed but i didn't wanted to make my sister and my parents feel bad now , since they are all happy and excited for the trip to Europe , so i put on my big girl pants and a big smile and pretended to have fun with them .. "two weeks laney.. two weeks!" 

The two weeks in Europe were really nice though and kept my mind busy. We went to Spain, I got to see a lot of really nice places, the beach and so much more. My parents, Emily and I really had a great bonding time together. Emily is going to spend a year in Spain As au pair girl, so it was nice to see where she will be living.we actually got to meet the Host family she will be living with as well.She was so happy and I was getting kind of jealous that she is about to reach her goals... As always.. She is always so lucky. (Don't get me wrong, I am very happy for my sister) and i wish her all the best from the bottom from my heart! Maybe i should just leave , far far away just like she did and start somewhere new from scratch? 

It's been three weeks now since we got back home, and  i haven't dome much , besides binge watching TV shows, keeping my pizza delivery guy busy and just being bored . I have probably gained ten pounds too just sitting around lazy . And I still don't know what to do next with my life .I started to think about, to just  find a job for the next year and wait before I make a decision.. I mean , I am 20 years old, and if I apply again for the dance academy for the next semester or even for something else by the end of the year I might get accepted.. So I started to apply to different offices, restaurants, bars, day cares and everywhere i saw they where looking for people. I don't know why, but I got nothing but a cold " I am sorry we already got somebody else"  and was starting to get really desperate.. I only wanted a job for god sakes .. Now what???

 It was Monday morning when my mom told me that the Restaurant "the Rosins" and also one of the best Restaurants in town , where a lot of important people go like she says, are looking to hire some ne Staff, so she immediately asked me if I want to start working with her untilI find something better . And honestly, I was so fed up looking for a job , i would take everything right now , "of course i would'nt start dancing on a pole or something " but hey , I really need some money and working in a great named Restaurant!  Why not?  Yes! I wasn't really excited to work with my mom, but at least I would have something to do! So I took the offer and was about to have my first day  " lord help us all" !