Distance

22. Can't stop

I finally zip up my suitcase. Today's the day, the day I get to tour with my boyfriend. I'm actually bursting with excitement!

But.. I am a bit nervous since.. You know the whole Luke situation.. I think we might just have to ignore each other. I don't want to ruin what I have with Mikey and he doesn't want to ruin his friendship since bro code and stuff..

"You ready in there?" Michael knocks as I yell for him to come in "I'm so excited for you to be travelling with us!!" He squeals embracing me in a warm hug "I can't wait Mikey! It's going to be awesome!" I smile as he picks up my bag and helps me bring it down stairs, to where I'm met by my mum, Darryl, Andrew and Aubrey. "Aww look at you both!!" My mum cheers giving me a hug as Darryl does the same to Mike but giving him more of a speech "you both are adorable" she smiles as I return the favour "thank you mum" but then she whispers something in my ear "but remember whatever happens on this tour, you need to choose who you love more." She smiles as I sigh knowing what she means.. Luke. I don't know what I'll do if I fall for him again.. What can I do? Nothing. I'll have no control in my actions.

"Right this is going to be our longest time away from each other a-and good luck" Aubrey says nearly breaking down into fits of sobs "oh Aubrey, I'm going to miss you so much" I say nearly doing the same "FaceTime me everyday?" She asks wiping the line of mascara under her eye as I nod and turning to my brother "look after her" I smile as he nods embracing me in a hug "I will big sis." He smiles as I kiss him on the cheek "and yourself of course" I giggle as he does.
Finally I turn to Darryl and give him a massive hug "bye Darryl!! Thank you so much for everything" I smile as he laughs "anytime sweetie have a safe trip we'll be in touch" he smiles as I link hands with Michael.

"So which continent's first?" I ask getting in the taxi to the airport "America" he smiles as I nearly faint.. I've never been to America before.. I love new experiences!! Especially with people I love and know will look after me. "Cool!" I squeal as the taxi goes quiet, which is strange since mine and Michaels relationship hardly has a quiet moment.

"We're meeting the boys in LA at our apartment" Michael says as we enter the busy airport "okay" I chirp which is just masking how nervous I really am.. I've not seen Luke in years and I don't know if I can face him.. He's a liar, cheat and is quite immature. Yet I still have some feelings there. Surely if I avoid him those feelings will go up in a puff of smoke.

*
After the 15 hour flight and about 6 different Disney movies later we arrive at LAX "are you more excited?! Because I'm more excited!!" I squeal going through departures as Mikey just stares at me and chuckles "not really I was only here a few weeks ago" he shrugs as I pout "I haven't been out of the country for a good few years give me a break!" I exclaim as he laughs as if I was the funniest person in the world "I wondered if you were just high" he giggles as I feel a wave of upset go over me, is he mocking me? I mask this with a smile "well I'm not".

I think Mike said that to be funny because he's not given me a sad dig again.. I can overlook it.

As we enter the beautiful sun lit apartment we realise that none of the boys have arrived yet so we get down to business..
By this I mean we decide to get into our swim wear and get in the pool.

I get into my black strappy bandeau bikini and put a kimono over it as well as placing my circular black rimmed sunglasses on the top of my head.

As I get to the actual pool there isn't actually just Mikey there anymore but the other 3 lads as well.. Which I'm quite apprehensive about. "Hey" I smile as they all turn around to face me, making me a bit body conscious "hi!!" Ash smiles embracing me in a tight hug "you've grown up so much!!" He smiles as I laugh "thanks dad" I joke as we both laugh.

I end up hugging Callum as well but when it came for me to say hi to Luke he was gone so I'm guessing.. That makes it easier on me? "So how are you all?" I smile as all 4 of us sit on a lounger each "I'm good I've got a girlfriend now.." Cal smiles as I clap "that's great cal, what's her name?" I smile whole heartedly as I gaze into his dark eyes "Kate" he smiles shyly "I'm so happy for you!" I say as I bring him In for a hug which can only be described as a squeeze. "What about you Ash?" I ask as he glances up sighing a bit "okay.. No girlfriend I'm afraid but it's all good" he giggles as I hug him again "aww pity hug" he laughs as I frown "and what's wrong with that?" I joke along as he smiles "nothing I like free hugs" "good" I smile.

It's now 10:30 and all the boys (apart from Luke) are asleep upstairs. But I can't sleep so I'm watching an old friends episode with a bowl of Cheerios.

Just as joey was about to go mental about Rachel breaking his beloved chair, the front door opens and I can guess who it'll be. "Hey Luke" I say as the footsteps halt, I don't really care we're supposed to be friends so why is he treating me like a one night stand who keeps bugging him? "Hey" he sighs as I turn my head to face his body which is still facing the kitchen "how are you?" I ask happily as he turns; he's not changed a great deal, his hairs gone a lot darker but is loose instead of lightly quiffed, he's taken his lip ring out and his shoulders are broader and he looks more toned. "I'm okay thanks" he bluntly says as he joins me on the sofa "cool" I hum grabbing my Cheerios and stuffing my face with them.

Ten minutes of silence and me laughing at friends (I mean it never gets old come on) Luke decides to speak "how are things with erm you and Mike?" He asks as I put my bowl down and smile "good, he's so lovely." I smile as he nods "yea he's my best friend.. I know." He says bluntly.. What the hell is wrong with him? It's starting to get annoying. "Oh." Is all I reply with and shortly smile. "do you love him?" He asks very intensely "is it any of your business?" I ask as he shrugs "probably not but I want to know" he smiles sarcastically as I'm about to go off on one "this isn't going to get me back with you Luke." I say as he looks shocked, as if I've figured out his whole plan "I never said I wanted you to." He shrugs through gritted teeth "then stop sounding as if you're implying it then." I sweetly smile "you're so annoying!" He grits "I guess the feelings mutual then" I smile yet again but before he answers I state my point "the fact that I believed you, when you said you wanted to be my friend just shows how stupid I actually am! You're just bitter Luke and because of that you think that just because you can't have me no one can. It's pathetic." I spit getting up, I don't want to look at him anymore "is that what you think? Wow you are dumb. Of course I want to be your fucking friend but it's hard to be when you're going out with my best friend and it hurts!" He needs to save it I don't need to pity him "and you think it didn't sting 3 years ago when you had a girlfriend and didn't tell me?" I challenge facing him "you're never going to let me forget that!" he nearly screams but I think he remembered that everyone else were asleep "I'm not because it got me where it hurt Luke. I thought I could trust you.. But you thought otherwise.. I need to move on with my life and by you being jealous won't let me do that.. You could've still had me Luke, but I'm afraid you'll always be reminded that I was the one who got away" I smirk to him as I back away and creep upstairs leaving his jaw hanging wide open. 
But everything I'm saying is true, I never had the confidence to really have a connection with another man after Luke because I'm scared of being hurt. But Mikey's different he shows me how much he loves me everyday and I'm so grateful for that.