Distance

15. Sweater weather

I woke up in lukes embrace, with our legs tangled together and his arm on top of mine, it felt right to be there with him and what I've come to realize over the past year is that I miss this attention and I should've tried harder to keep in contact with Luke rather than giving up at the last hurdle.
We stayed like that for 10 minutes when his eyes flickered open "good morning" Luke whispered kissing the top of my head "good morning sleepy head" I giggled getting up "do you want any breakfast?" I asked "sure" "pancakes?" I asked hoping he likes pancakes "yesssss" he screamed and all of a sudden his low raspy voice turned into a high pitched scream "im guessing you like pancakes then" I giggled knowing the answer "oh yeaaaa it's what I live for!!" he got excited again "glad I picked pancakes" I winked walking into the kitchen.

"I should probably get back to the bus" Luke said eating his last pancake "I'll guide you back so we have some more time together" I smiled "okay" he smiled weakly back "let me get changed into something new" I said walking into my room getting a pair of dark denim jeans, a grey Rolling Stones crop top, a pair of white converse and a black hoodie. I brushed my teeth and put my hair into a ponytail to join Luke again "ready?" I asked standing in the doorway "ready" he smiled.

We got to the arena in no less than an hour and we spent the train journey talking about mostly pizza and joking about his height (that was mostly me) he just makes me feel so good! It's going to be hard letting go of him again but im going to make sure I try this time so we might eventually be in a relationship. I smile at the thought of waking up next to Luke every morning, seeing his hair messy as he lifts his head up from being asleep, his deep morning voice, the first glimpse of his blue orbs in the morning but most importantly being with Luke. "this is it... Again" he weakly laughed "i'm sure we'll see eachother again Luke, we saw eachother this week after months of not seeing eachother." I smiled back with a few tears threatening to spill "you're so strong, after everything you've been through you still smile" he says caressing my cheek so I smile back weakly remembering the past that has led me to be this 'strong' person "yea well.. We have to look to the light at the end of the tunnel" I look down "bye Lottie" Luke smiles giving me a hug and staying there for a few moments "bye Luke" I say looking into his eyes before he gives me one last looks and turns to walk back to his world not looking back at me once. It kinda hurt to be honest, no miss you's or kisses just a 'bye' as if I were his dog. Im not gonna let that ruin what happened these past two days though, I just over think everything but im sure I'll see Luke again.

I walk back to the train station passing the back gate of the arena to where the tour buses are and something caught my eye that made me stop, "Lukey!!" a girl screeched as she saw Luke and hugged him when he was walking to the tour busses, nah this isn't anything this girl could be his cousin? "hey babe" Luke hugged back and kissed her, that's when I froze no he can't- he said he didnt have a girlfriend "where were you after the concert? I thought we were going out" she said bluntly "I just went a walk around and I forgot the time so I stayed in a premier inn" he said looking her dead in the eyes. Lies. Lies. Lies. That's all that's come out of his dirty mouth and at that moment the tears did spill and they were uncontrollable and I didnt have any control in the movement of my feet because I just stood there, deflated. "okay" she smiled and kissed him again "now lets plan a date for after tomorrows concert" he smiled pushing her lower back into the bus and then they were gone, while I still stood there with tears pouring out of my eyes. How could he lie, not just to me but to his supposed girlfriend? The last person I expected to hurt me, broke me.

When I got home I slammed the door wanting to run upstairs but instead being called by my mum "Lottie?!" she shouted, "yea?" I composed "come here" she said "o-okay" I whispered walking into the kitchen looking like a mess only to be greeted by a not so familiar face "mikey?" I questioned really confused "hey Lottie" he said hugging me "what are you doing here?" I asked "well since you to know eachother some how? Anyway Michael's going to be your step brother" my mum said excitedly "what?!" we both shouted at the Same time "but you guys won't see much of eachother due to mikeys touring and your education" Darryl said softly "oh I don't mind Darryl I actually like mikey" I smiled at Mike "Same dad" he smiled back "okay im glad, now mikey has to go in an hour so you two go up to Lotties room" my mum smiled "okay" we both said again.

"sooo what's up with you?" mikey asked sitting on my bed "how do you mean?" I faked smiled "please, it's obvious you were crying, who made my new little sister cry?" he said soothingly making me chuckle "no-one" I looked down "come on sis" he pushed "fine but you can't tell anyone okay?" "promise" he swore "okay last night Luke came over for a movie and stuff and we really grew close and we sorta.. Kinda... Kissed ...." I trailed on while mikey looked intensely at me "but anyway I dropped him off at the arena in town and we said our byes but nothing emotional like last time and he turned and never looked back and now I know why, which leads me up to the part where I was walking past where the tour buses are only to see Luke kissing a blonde girl with a really squeaky voice and they were making plans for a date, and it broke me Michael.. I thought Luke cared enough about me to tell me the truth about his girlfriend otherwise I wouldn't have kissed him" I finished with Michael looking at me with sad eyes "oh Lottie im so sorry" he said sadly and brougby me into a hug until I broke away "you must know her?" I questioned hoping this girl was just a crazed fan and he loved me but I was prepared for the worst "yea I do.." he trailed "so can you tell me, is he going out with her? And if so how long?" I asked "well yea he is im so sorry Lottie he's a jerk for not telling you. And early September time" that's when I flipped "what?! September?! For fucks sake that little, cheating, basterd!!" I shouted not caring who knew "why? What happened in September?" mikey asked with concern "he never replied to me and I thought he was busy... Well he was busy getting into a blonde sluts pants" I said angrily how could he? I loved him and thought about him for 10 months! And in return he's been chewing on a fake blonde "If it helps" mikey interjected "we all hate her, she's so fake when Luke was gone last night she was trying to get in Ashtons pants even though she knows he's got bryanna, that's what she does and she's a complete whore" mikey finished making me smile a bit "thank you mikey" I giggled im glad mikey of all people is my step brother, he is sooo kind and I know we'll have eachothers backs.