The daily life of a scene girl (Ambers story)

Ch 4. Rumors

-The daily life of a scene girl-

Chapter 4. -Rumors-

Friday may 17th 2002

When it was 6:00 I decided to stop blaming myself for what happened today and go downstairs, I slowly opened my door to hear what was going on downstairs, all I could hear was Sage probably complaining about his day, or boasting about how he got an ‘A’ in science class, or how the teacher liked his literature, which he was always good at, well for the most part, he still wasn’t very good at coming up with ideas for a story, unlike me who has wrote pages and pages of poetry yet still got poor grades just because I misspelled photo mosaics or eventualities right, it wasn’t my fault I was horrible at spelling, one time in the 8th grade I wrote a whole story 234 pages worth of writing and the teacher gave me a D- because it wasn’t appropriate to write a whole sentence that said ‘Drowning in my sorrows, only to escape the voices telling me to do the things I fight so hard to stay away from, it seemed like the deeper I went the less I could hear these voices, no more telling me what to do, no more making fun of myself every time I look in the mirror, or go out in a bathing suit, no more voices meant no more life, but what is life without these voices?

Emptiness, sadness, loneliness, these are all feelings of my life and how I live everyday, sure I have both parents, sure I’m lucky to be in a house with food and care but for some reason, some odd reason I don’t feel as if I am fully satisfied, a part of me is missing, and that part of me is Jason Richfield, someone I thought I loved but I guess all good things have to come to an end’ I snapped out of my flashback and thought of Jason, his turquoise eyes that looked almost white when he looked into the sun, his pale skin which was also a reason his eyes looked so white, his reddish/brown hair with a the occasional natural blond highlighting, his crooked smile. I had known Jason since we were born and we did everything together, everything, but I don’t want to get into him right now.

I slowly started walking down the stairs into the dining room where everyone was sitting, James in his own little world talking to himself, my dad nodding along to what Sage was saying, my mom full on the conversation like she always was and Tessa sitting there with her guilty face on, I stepped in and stood there for a full 5 minutes and still noticed I was there.

“Oh dear God do you ever shut up?” I teased with a slightly forced smile on my face, as I took a couple small baby steps into the room, everyone looked away from Sage except for James and Tessa and got all excited.

“Come in Amber, I made a plate for you, I didn’t know where you wanted to sit so I just put it where you usually sit” my mom said, I looked over next to where Tessa was sitting, I walked over to the seat and carefully picked up my plate moving it next to the empty chair next to my dad, I decided that tonight I’d actually try to eat, after thinking about my poem and all, made me remember how life should be spent, I sat down and just started eating, my parents shocked watched me in amusement.

“What, did I do something wrong?” I asked looking up from my plate to everyone staring at me.

“No its just- your eating, I haven’t seen you eat like that since 6th grade” my dad said, still shocked that I was actually eating.

“Yea, I guess I am just hungry” I said, everyone took one last look before going back to their own dinner, Sage continued with his story, Tessa picked at her food, she wanted to say something but held it in, and James well just continued to be James.

After 20 minutes of extremely boring stories, I had finished all the food on my plate, which was weird because I didn’t even like half of what was on it, I got up and went into the kitchen and put my plate in the sink, my mom was upstairs watching T.V, Sage I could hear walking around upstairs, and Tessa was God knows where, I heard my dad talking softly on the phone.