Dear No One | Jeon Jungkook

Chapter 19

October 7, 11:32 pm

kwon jinshil.

"Helpless bitch, you know, Nam Seolhee, that girl. I didn't know someone like you could actually pity someone who's making your life hell right now." I suddenly felt the hairs on my skin stand up in fear after hearing his voice, my brain sending nothing but shivers all throughout my body.

"Why are you talking shit? It's late at night, what do you want me to do?" I lifted my chin up, standing up straight, trying not to show any sign of fear or weakness. "Why would you want to talk to me this late? Why mention Seolhee? Jesus Christ."

"She's the only reason why I'm talking to you, Jinshil. And it would be nice if you follow my orders without any interrogations, you know. Stop acting like you give a shit about her breathing or some shit. Why in the world are you trying to protect her at any cost?" He asked me once again, earning a small gulp from me.

"Why is it always her?" I cleared my throat, "Can't you talk about other things but her? I have no time to think about her at this moment, so what the hell do you want from me?" I still managed to ask him despite my fear.

"I want you to take her to me once again, since you have already gained her trust." He demanded as if it was a simple thing to do.

"BULLSHIT." He exclaimed before puling the gun out and pointed it directly at me without any second thoughts, not even a tinge of hesitation. Fuck, he's armed. Shit shit.

From there I started to tremble and my shoulders juddered at what seems like my upcoming death. Beads of sweat started to trickle down my forehead, my heart palpitating, my legs almost losing balance and my lips quivering. His hand securely wrapped around the gun's body and his finger latched on the trigger, almost pulling it completely.

What the hell Jinshil? You're so fucking stupid.

What made you think that he won't bring a fucking gun?

He could pull it anytime, even before I could say the name of the person I'm putting myself in this risk for.

Nam Seolhee.

"You know... kidnapping is an easy job, well for me at least. But now I know she had gotten more careful around me And do you know, for some reason, I witnessed your ex-boyfriend take Seolhee away from me." He gave out a slight chuckle, "Well, I let them be to see how far could they go. I saw that bastard carry her home on his back, and everything else about it was cheesy and mildly romantic. And to think you two were a couple that time." He laughed again, pulling the gun down and started playing with the gun on his hand as if it couldn't kill me.

Why?

Why tell me about all of this?

As soon as I heard those words come out of his mouth, I felt helpess. Bad memories shot through my head in a split second. I tried to prevent a tear from rolling down my cheek, but I couldn't. It was all because of Jungkook and all the things that he made me believe; he made me believe that he wouldn't break the promise of helping my life become better again.

His absence not only made me feel like I'm nothing, it has also made me feel like I'm drowning in this pit of despondency and endless yearning.

For him.

Up until this moment, I couldn't believe he could do something like that. I thought so well of him, I had taken care of him all this while, I loved him with all my heart.

Instead of being demented with blazing anger towards Seolhee, I instead felt desperate. Desperate for him, desperate to restart, desperate to be loved by him again, and desperate to keep going through life with him and only him. My mind started to flood with flashbacks of the good times when I hated how Jungkook would always insist to follow me home, eat lunch with me, compliment me no matter how ugly I looked every time, and find me after each period of class ends so that he could annoy me.

No Jinshil, he's Seolhee's now.

All his care, his love, his compliments, his warmth, Seolhee gets all of them now.

Don't give yourself false hope.

"Done thinking about it huh, Jinshil? Think about it again, and think about everything deeper." Donggyu smirked, emphasizing the last word as he pulled down the gun, walked to me and suddenly slinging his arm over my shoulder. I flinched at his touch and aggressively pushed his hand away.

"Don't touch me, you f-freak." I stuttered again, the thoughts in my mind were all scattered around, making me confused.

"Okay, geez. Seems like you need more time to just keep on thinking." He shrugged with a frown and stepped away from me. What the hell does he even want from me?

"I don't want to keep thinking." I strongly retorted, clenching my fists and giving Donggyu an electrifying glare. I don't want to hurt myself more, I don't want to stop Jungkook and Seolhee from being together, I just don't want to cause trouble.

This is all wrong, it's wrong to still ask for the chance for Jungkook to look at me again like he once did. We haven't been together for that long but it made me happier than I have ever been before. But no, this shouldn't be what I want.

I'm confused.

I don't want to keep tormenting myself with memories of when Jungkook used to keep chasing me around and declaring his love for me everywhere we go. I remember when I used to be annoyed by it but I want those back now, now that everything's gone.

No Jinshil, Seolhee needs Jungkook more than you do.

"Stop acting like a saint. You have hatred in your heart, don't you? Bring it out. You hate Jungkook and Seolhee because both of them took the happiness away from you. Jungkook distanced himself from you because of her If Seolhee hadn't stolen Jungkook from you; you wouldn't have dark circles under your eyes, a less determined personality and a broken heart. All Seolhee has done was to ruin your now perfect life and steal your boyfriend right?"

My heart started racing even more after processing what he had just said in my mind. I looked down my pale hands and brought them closer to my eyes, and that's when my vision started to blur with stupid tears of emotional loss. I watched as the moisture droplets coming from my orbs dropped on my dry palms.

Do I deserve this torture?

Coming from the person I love and the girl I'm trying to protect?

"Look Jinshil, before any complications, you could pretend that I'm Seolhee for now. Look at me." He commanded, lifting my chin quite harshly to look at him as he pointed at himself with his right hand, the other still holding on the gun. "What are you going to do?" He then smirked, wiggling the gun on his hand.

I gave him a short glance before my gaze dropped on the gun. I took a deep breath and let my feelings dominate me. I quickly rushed to Donggyu, successfully prying the gun away from his grasp in just a second. I immediately turned around before pointing the gun at him, holding on it tightly using both of my hands.

Donggyu then playfully raised his arms in the air, giving me a smug smile. Blood rushed to my cheeks and I struggled to breathe, the excitement of holding a weapon like this for the first time flowing through my veins.

"I don't know why you stole that away from me, is it point it at me or the someone I'm pretending to be as?" He ashed, followed by an annoying chuckle. "Go ahead, Jinshil, pull the trigger. See where your heart leads to. I wonder what made you steal the gun."

"Shut up!" I shouted in a shaky tone, my hands sweating and feeling wobbly against the surface of the weapon. "I could pull the trigger at this moment." I threatened, biting on my slightly cracked lips.

"And I am at fault?" He scoffed, "That gun isn't loaded, sweetheart. It couldn't be me, all I'm trying to do is to help you. Is it Seolhee or me, really?"

A moment of realization then drowned me, making me slowly pull down the gun.

As much as I didn't expect saying something like this, I knew Seolhee was the reason why I stole the gun.

Because I want everything that helps her stay alive.. dead. And her too.

—

A/N: Was that a cliffhanger? Well then, sorry. This chapter made me emotional.