Stuck

Chapter 8

She's here

Tahimik lang kaming dalawa ni Miguel habang nasa taxi. He just held my hand and played with it. Ako naman, I enjoyed looking out the window. I loved seeing the blurring lights every time the taxi speeds up.

From time to time I keep on checking my watch to see what time is it. Baka kasi di ako umabot sa deadline, patay ang grades namin. Okay lang naman sa akin kung ako lang mag-isa ang babagsak dahil sigurado akong mababawi ko iyon, but since this is a group work I don't want anyone pointing their fingers at me and blaming me.

9:24 pm pa naman. Aabot pa ako.

Pagkarating ng Taxi sa may Nilan, bahagya akong nag-alala dahil medyo traffic. I tried to ignored it and busied myself listening to music. I plugged in my earphones at nakinig na lang sa Boyce Avenue. Hawak hawak pa din ngayon ni Miguel ang kamay ko.

Biglang nag ring ang phone ko at nakita kong si Rachelle ito. Tiningnan ni Miguel ang phone ko upang makita kung sino ang tumatawag. I answered Rachelle's call. Miguel is still not letting go of my hand.

"No okay lang, pauwi na ako."

"Sus ano ka ba, okay lang no."

"Don't worry aabot tayo."

"Don't stress too much."

"Okay, okay bye. Good Night Rach."

I reassured Rachelle, panay kasi ang pag so-sorry niya sa akin kesyo naabala niya raw ako but I don't mind actually.

I just continued listening to my playlist hanggang sa makarating kami sa bahay. Wala pang tao sa amin ngayon. Wala na muna kaming katulong ngayon because the last maid that we had ay nagnakaw sa amin. That's why my mom now has trust issues sa pipiliing agency na kukunan ng katulong.

Miguel paid for the fare even though I told him I should pay for it. Talagang mapilit siya at hinayaan ko na lang siya. Akala ko nga ay ibababa niya lang ako at sasakay siya pabalik sa taxi ng bigla siyang bumaba at umambang papasok sa bahay.

"Hep hep! Akala ko ba ihahatid mo lang ako?" I don't really mind him coming inside but I remembered he left his little sister's party at baka hinahanap na siya roon.

"I also have to make sure that you're safe Za," He just stood in front of me. The streetlight behind him accented his features.

"And why is that?" I asked him while holding our gate.

"Because you're my girlfriend," Miguel spoke those words confidently which caught me off guard.

"Says who?" I don't know why the words just came out of my mouth. Hindi naman ako ganito ka taklesa pag ibang tao ang kausap.

Miguel winced and he looked hurt but he immediately regained his composure. Biglang naging seryoso ang mukha niya.

"Come on Za. I promised I won't pressure you but I need this. We both need this. Alam mo namang mahal kita eh. Baliw na baliw ako sayo Za. Sayo lang. Ikaw lang. Sagutin mo ko, ano nga ba talaga tayong dalawa?" Miguel's words pierced through me.

Mahigit isang taon na din naming itinatago ang relasyon naming dalawa. I forced him to do so and he agreed. Yes, I love Miguel, even though I have never told him that personally, and he loves me. There's no doubt in that.

Kaya nga I thought to myself, why can't I give him just this? Why am I not making this thing between us official? It's daunting me. I want to make Miguel feel the way he always makes me feel, secure and loved. Wala naman din akong ibang ginusto kundi maging kami, opisyal at walang hadlang but that's difficult. That's why I never really confirmed anything with him because I'm too afraid to make this thing so real. I know that with the labels talagang totohanan at seryosohan, but could you call it serious and real when nobody else knows about it but only the two of you?