The Kidnap: Psychotic!Sans x Detective!Reader

Epilogue: I Thought We Were a Team

(Y/N) dashed to the other side of the arena, spinning around and raising her weapon. She just barely managed to block Sans' shot, both of them feeling the blow. She rolled underneath the other, jumping onto a nearby platform. Sans, when did Sans get a rifle? He aimed it at her head, silence stretching between them. She kept her eyes on him, slowly raising her sword. In a second, he shot, and she narrowly jumped over the speeding bullet. (Y/N) dropped to the lower level, eyes frantically searching for something, anything to even the odds. 

They were both on the brink of death, that much she knew. It was a small consolation, that if she fell she would at least know she was close. He aimed at her from his pedestal, again narrowly missing. They had been dancing like this for longer than she could remember, had time to remember. He fired, she jumped, she swung, he ducked. On and on and on. 

Finally, he had her against the edge of the area, feet behind her searching for ground that wasn't there. She wouldn't beg for mercy, she would never beg for mercy. He held the gun to her head once again, both of them knowing this was the end; one more hit of any kind, and she'd be dead. "Sans," she whined, looking up at him with large, hurt eyes, "I thought we were a team." 

Sans chuckled dryly, cold eyes high behind the barrel of the gun. "Sorry, sweetheart, but there's no time for teams here." He pulled the trigger, and everything went black. 

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Sans' character stood in the center, receiving applause from the other's characters. (Y/N)'s avatar, (Character of Choice), clapped apathetically -  the sarcasm matching the annoyance (Y/N) felt. "Fine, take your victory," she snapped, tossing her controller at Chara and Dimi. "I'd have won if you two fuckers weren't stabbing me." 

In truth, they'd been poking her sides, causing her to twitch and spasm and laugh, generally distracting her from the game. They both laughed at her, Chara picking up the control and tossing it back. "(Y/N), PLEASE WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!" Papy screeched, snacking on popcorn. 

"Bro, you know you're a big boy, yeah? You can cuss," Sans asked, grinning wider when (Y/N) hit his chest in annoyance. 

"Yeah, Pap! If you wanna be a good cook, you gotta get a little dirty!" Undyne shouted victoriously, slamming her hand against the ground. She and Alphys had long since learned not to ask what had happened when (Y/N) and Frisk came back from a hunt. 

"N-no you don't," Alphys countered, looking up from her phone. "L-language has no bearing o-on the outcome of a dish. He doesn't have to c-cuss if he doesn't want to."

"I'm trying to make him a man!" Undyne yelled, hitting her girlfriend with a pillow. 

"JUST BECAUSE I DO NOT LOWER MYSELF TO THE STANDARDS OF CURSING DOES NOT MAKE ME LESS OF A MAN!" Papyrus responded. 

"So, we're lower humans than you?" Asriel teased. Papyrus went red, trying to recover his thoughtless comment. 

"Why do you guys have to poke me?" (Y/N) asked the sisters, ignoring Pap and his discussion. 

"You're just so poke-able," Dimitri cooed, poking her side again. 

"You making a comment about me weight?" (Y/N) countered, giggling when Dimitri started trying to apologize. "It's all good, Dimi. I was joking."

"BROTHER!" Papyrus yelled. The other three looked over to see Papyrus, pinned to the ceiling by his cape. A spear was the culprit. 

"Undyne," Alphys sighed, setting her phone back down, "let him down."

Undyne gave an annoyed huff, pulling the spear loose and watching Papy land skillfully on the floor. "Honestly, Undyne, have some class," Sans remarked, before burping loudly. He aimed the fumes at (Y/N), who punched his arm. 

"I'm so done with you," (Y/N) muttered, not so much as blinking when Sans put an arm around her.

"You don't have to be so salty just because you lost."

"I hate losing," (Y/N) snarled. He laughed, pulling her against his chest and kissing the top of her head. 

"I love you," he cooed, tickling her nose. 

"Love you too," she grumbled, attempting to bite his finger. "Even though you're a piece of shit."

"I'm your piece of shit," he reminded her, tickling her side. She fell over, kicking and swearing. 

"Fuck you, Sans!" she yelled, laughing and squirming. 

"I mean if you want to but I was gonna get some food first," was his casual reply. Before she could right herself, he straddled her, pinning her hands above her head. He kissed her nose again, jumping off her and heading to the kitchen.

She sat back up, grabbing her control and starting the next game without him. "My piece of shit," she mumbled, grinning a little despite herself. "My idiot."

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(A/N: I'm done. Finally, man. Feels. . . weird. Anyway, I guess I'll publish several books but put a lot of focus on one of them. Not sure which one, yet, so let me know. Ciao~)