Hail Mary, Forgive Me (Kellic, boyxboy)

Chapter 23

A/N: Sorry the chapters so short, but really, I didn't want to draw it out.

We did wind up having to go and get Vic's car, so that Tony could be sure that he'd be unable to even consider trying to drive. Not that he'd get far, Tony was shadowing him, from a distance, since Vic had told him to leave him alone. I had been in bed by the time they came home, unable to sleep, and had stayed there like Mike told me too. If Vic could lose it like that sober, then I didn't want to find out what would happen when he was drunk. 

However, I got no say in the matter, since he burst into my room at about 3AM, staggering slightly, with a bottle of vodka in his hand. 
"Why did you do it Kellin? Do you hate me that much?" I sighed and sat up, ready to yell for one of the others, whoever had ended up in the closest room for this exact eventuality. However, there was no fight in his eyes, just sadness. 
"I don't hate you Vic. Please don't think that." 
"Then why would you sleep with some one else?" 
"I don't know. I was drunk, I wasn't thinking. It was a huge mistake, something I should never have done." He came further into the room, somehow managing to shut the door behind him. 
"Was it the sex you wanted? If it was, I could have sorted it out." I groaned mentally, wishing he hadn't said that. 
"No, I... I wasn't looking for it. He came onto me. Honestly, if I wanted sex, I'd have waited until after you had gone away." 
"Why didn't you wait?" 
"Because I wasn't thinking." He looked at me, and then at his bottle, glancing back and forth a few times. 
"So this was the key? Get you drunk, then you don't think, you just do what you actually want to do? Here, you drink it." 
"No Vic, I'm not drinking anything." 

And that was when the anger came back. 
"Why not? Are you hiding something else? Did you hook up again today? Under my roof?" I shook my head, horrified that he thought I would sink that low. "I should have known. You don't want anything to do with me! You never have done, but you let me think that we were friends, that you wanted me around, when instead you were laughing behind my back. I was just a puppet on a string for you to pull along, use me for your own happiness, and then tear my heart into a million different pieces, stamping all over the remains." 
"No, Vic, it was nothing like that. I didn't-" 
"Listen to yourself, Kellin, trying to convince me that it's not true. I know it is though. You don't want me in any form. It's all just one big game for you. Well congratulations, you've won, and the prize if a lifetime of happiness while I can't even get up. I'm the loser, the victim. You played the game, and the cost of playing was the victim's happiness. Well you can have it Kellin. My heart belongs to you, and since you don't want it, it might as well not beat." Shock ran through me, with another huge surge of guilt. I knew he was hurting, and he had every right to be mad at me. Heck, I was mad with me. 
"Do you not think that it's killing me to know that I'm causing you to hurt like this? You deserve better than this." 
"Better than to find out that the man I love, my brother, and two best friends have all been keeping things from me? I think everyone deserves that." 

I watched him as he opened the door, staggering out, already sobbing. I was on my feat before I could think, walking after him, an apology already on the tip of my tongue. 
"Vic, wait. I'm sorry. For everything. For sleeping with him, for hiding it, for being careless enough when Ashton was making comments that you overheard the last one, for you finding out. For every single little bit of pain I've ever caused you." He turned to me then, tears streaming down his face, tensed up. 
"It's too late to say sorry." 

And then Vic ran away from me, leaving me to a sleepless night I knew I deserved.