Butterfly Aubade

第七章 [ Chapter Seven ]

第七章

 I awoke to find myself covered with a blanket and Ming Zheng's presence gone. I felt slightly disappointed until I saw the note left behind. 'Thank You Ai Xue' was written with beautiful calligraphy and I merely smiled like a child. Chun Hai had arrived with my usual breakfast and adjusted my hair with pins and flowers. 

"Lady Ai Xue, I have news that your family is visiting the court."

"Visiting?" My heart leapt with excitement. I hadn't seen them for years. I knew little of their progress. I had received occasional mail but it would be pleasant to have a reunion.

"Let them come to my quarters and prepare the best for them." I said with a smile.

"Of course my lady, they're coming at noon."

"Noon, lovely."

---

Precisely at one where the sun was set high, my father had arrived with my brother and my two mothers plus one of the twins. I greeted them as they stared at me agape at my attire.

"Where is Xiao Yu? Surely she wouldn't have passed this opportunity to visit..." I said questioning.

"She passed to spend the day with her husband." Jing Fen said with a slight envious smile.

"Oh she married?" I said surprised. I saw my father nod with pride. My second mother of course held her head high as usual.

"She's well off with an intelligent scholar. They're happy together."

"Indeed she is. But how are you?" Third mother said as she smiled. I noticed fine aging lines had donned her once youthful face. Time was passing without my awareness and it had taken its toll on people.

"I'm alright." It was the truth after all. I placed more delights on my brothers plate who stared at me wide eyed.

"What? Do you not recognize me as your sister?" I teased and then he grinned.

He was already taller than me but kept silent for the most part. He was growing into a fine man and father adored him. The only son and heir of our household who was destined for great things. I envied my family as they chatted away about their lives and I could only sit there like an outsider. Time had stolen me away from them. The people I loved and there was nothing I could change. I was startled when my second mother had boldly asked.

"Have you been successful in conceiving yet?"

I flushed red and shamefully shook my head. I was reminded of my task again. And I couldn't do anything about it still. I wanted to bury myself in a land of weeds and cry at my incompetence. But I didn't allow myself to feebly accept failure.

"Take this as a gift." My second mother said as she slipped a vial towards me.  

"Pour this into the tea when you have his imperial highness with you. Drink with him and you will succeed."

"T-Thank you." I murmured surprised.

"It's the least I can do for my daughter." She said with a glare at third mother who had arrived empty handed.

"Just be careful with those herbs, they will cause a burning sensation." Third mother said. Father distracted himself from our womanly talk and began to speak politics to my little brother who nodded and engulfed all the knowledge into his head.

When father had finally turned his attention to me, he announced Jing Fen's marriage which would be in a month or so. I congratulated my sister who shyly blushed. I knew how she would feel but I knew for certain that she would succeed in her tasks. As a little girl she always dreamt of running a household and marriage. She would be granted her dreams in a few short weeks. But she wouldn't know the perils of married life just yet. Everything came with the good and the bad. Like the ying and yang as Daoism had taught of.

For the rest of their time, I did my best to entertain them. With their leave I sadly bid them goodbye until later. Later which could have entitled months or years of time. Separation always hurt but it was bittersweet because it wouldn't be the last time I saw their faces again. And that brought me some comforting hope.

By night fall, Ming Zheng had visited. I felt my heart run but not for any silly reasons. The vial was slipped up my sleeve and I could simply pour it into the pot when he wasn't looking but I was fearful of what might happen. The contents were tempting. Would he punish me if he found out that I laced his drink with herbs to intoxicate him? The choice would bring me either disappointment or risk. I wanted everything so badly and so I put aside the consequences that could befall me.

When he wasn't looking, I had uncapped the vial under my sleeve and took of the lid and slipped the liquid into it. I carefully sat down and poured him and myself tea. I was hesitant to sip, not knowing what could happen. And I scolded myself for being so foolish. Second mother had given me the gift but at least third mother had reassured me that it was safe.

I took the cup and carefully sipped all of the content down. I poured some more for the both of us. Not long, I felt my whole body tingle with a sensation that pricked my skin. I took a glance at Ming Zheng whose expression had hardened. He was experiencing the same feelings as I was. I kept my head down and didn't comment until he finally chose to speak.

"What did you do Ai Xue?" Accusation of my deed in every word.

"I-" To lie or to speak the truth, I thought for a minute and brought forth the best of what I could say. I sighed and clasped my hands on my dress. "I had special herbs made for us tonight." I sucked in a breath, afraid.

"Are you that desperate?" He said as his finger tilted my chin letting his eyes meet mine. I yearned for more. It had been months and I was left here with nothing. And I knew he had other company with other concubines or ladies. The crown princess had her ways and if she could, I knew I could too.

"Please. I am your wife, can I not request for such a thing from my husband?" I said, heat flaring up on my cheeks.

"The last time it had happened you cried and fell limp like a doll." He said.

"Unlike last time," I slowly breathed in and out, "I genuinely developed a liking torwards you." I could not say the proper words just yet but I felt the beats of my heart skip as he inched closer.

"You're afraid but you're willingly?" He said with a smirk. "What a contradiction. A puzzle as usual Ai Xue."

"Yes. Because you are my husband Ming Zheng and I am yours." I said feeling vulnerable at the daring words I had chosen to say. I watched his expression soften as he acknowledged my genuine words. He thought to himself and then chose to open his mouth to reveal my fate.

"You've been good so I will please you." He said with a chuckle. I felt a rush of bliss.

And before I knew it, he had picked me up and set me down on the bed. His lips kissed my forehead, my cheeks and down to my collarbone. Every touch made me shiver. He pulled the fabric that kept my bare skin from touching his. My fingers carefully pulled away his shirt to reveal the familiar muscles and scars that trailed across like a map. A story on each flaw that I could stare at forever.

He went forth and nipped at every area of my body that sent my blood raging even higher like an endless inferno. Through my moans and cries, he was fed with my reactions. His arms had grasped around my abdomen and his tongue trailed up all the way to my breasts. His fingers caressed me all over and I could only remember the first memory of disgust. And now I could only guilty admit that I desired more.

Eventually he separated my thighs and I knew the familiar sensation of pain would reappear again. He hushed me and whispered that it wouldn't hurt.

I trusted and believed.

And then I felt every part of him inside of me and I cried out. He covered his mouth over mines to cease the sound. I swayed my hips as he himself groaned. I pushed towards his body and he kept his hands around my wrist. He quickened the pace and I followed his rhythm. I pulled myself as deep as I could as he continued. I felt his gentleness and tender touches thrilling down my complete being. His hands went down my black locks and down under to touch my stomach which shivered. I buried myself onto him as I latched my arms around his neck. My thighs pulled me up and I hooked my legs onto the rest of his torso. My nails dug his back and he grunted. I felt his teeth down my neck as I moved my own hips to adjust his parts.

By the time it was all over, I collapsed into euphoria. Pleased and finding myself staring up at his beautiful body and face. My head was pressed against his chest and I listened to our hearts simultaneously run like the wind. I kept my arms wrapped around him and I closed my eyes. The sheets were the only thing that covered us as our clothes were shamelessly tossed aside.