Butterfly Aubade

第十六章 - [ Chapter Sixteen ]

米雪–translated Rice Snow [pronounced: ME SHH-REH]
銳尖 – translated to Sharp as a Sword [ pronounced: RWO – JIAN]

 第十六章

Many months had passed since the birth of my daughter and son. I named her after rice which was the grain of life and snow in sentimental value of my own name. Ming Zheng approved and the Empress didn't seem to particularly care. What was important was my son. His name.

Even Ming Zheng had no say in his own son's name. The Empress had decided and she dubbed him as Ruo Jian. I didn't particularly like the name but it signified power and strength. She has high hopes that he'll fight many battles and wield many swords in triumph. The thought of my only son in battle was fearsome already.

Things have changed and my quarters have been redecorated more lavishly than that of the crown princess. Apparently she was sullen and angry. Chun Hai told me that she was set on producing an heir within a year. No matter how many times it took she would prove her own worth too.

I was at peace. I had prayed to the higher being of the world. Meditated at the statue of Buddha as well in hopes of good. And I was thankful beyond measure to be secured. I had many children to keep under my watchful eyes. Chun Hai had her hands full with Sheng Li, Mi Xue and Ruo Jian. Lei Lei and Tian Tian were giddy to see the children. Now that they were older, they were to protect these three babies. And I knew they were pure of heart and intention. Just the way they looked at them was sincere.

Rarely leaving the room now that I was still on bed rest, I was visited by no one. Fang Hua had left. Lan Xing, I knew nothing of her wherebouts. Some murmured that she had fallen ill while others said she was off on a trip. And then there was Huan Yue who was consumed with contempt.

In the afternoon, I surprise visitor had decided to grace me with her presence. It was the Korean princess who I hadn't bothered learning her name.

She struggled to speak in Chinese but managed to squeeze the words out of her lips, "Here soup for you my lady."

I cautiously sat up as I took a whiff of it. It was too unusual, abrupt.

"Thank you." I said tiredly.

I carefully took the tray and stared down at the contents. The liquid was as it should look. I put the spoon up to my lips and sniffed it a little.

"This smells a bit putrid, would you mind giving it a taste? I'm already a bit exhausted. I wouldn't want to throw up now..." I said, cunningly.

I watched her face contort before she knocked it over by an accident. Her maid quickly began to pick it up as she merely scowled, using her maid as a scapegoat for the spill.

"I am so sorry my lady. I will make sure to bring you fresh soup another day." She said with a bow.

"Wait." My voice echoed loudly. "Next time you bring soup, bring some for yourself so we can enjoy it together." I smiled.

She quickly said her greeting and then retreated, huffing in rapid Korean about something. I couldn't help but smirk. It'd take a lot more than mere soup to kill the likes of me. With free time I had been looking up herbs and such. I even went as far as having a mid wife come and teach me. I needed to learn and know the possibilities of poison and such that I could encounter. The lives of my children and mine were at the stake. Deaths were common and the last thing I wanted was to be wiped off from this empire as nothing.

I rested my head on the pillow and shut my eyes.

---

I breast fed both Mi Xue and Ruo Jian in the evening. Chun Hai took careful care of Sheng Li who was an obedient baby. Unlike Ruo Jian who bellowed and shouted out his lungs, Sheng Li's eyes would dart around at objects until he bored himself to sleep. Mi Shreh on the other hand was the quietest out of the two. She cried for milk in the middle of the night but fell asleep easily. I worried for her health since she slept more than the other children did.

"Take Sheng Li and place him in his chamber. I'll have Ruo Jian and Mi Xue stay with me." I ordered as Chun Hai nodded.

Just as I put them down and Chun Hai gone, Ming Zheng burst in the doors.

The look on his face was strange. One that I had never seen before.

"Why do you look so sour?" I questioned.

"Did you know..." He stormed as he sat down glaring at me.

"Know what?"

"About Fang Hua and him." He spat.

I froze for a mere second. I couldn't let him know the truth. Within a split second I gracefully sat down in front of him, lying to his face.

"I don't know who you're talking about."

He stared at me straight. I felt my stomach churn and my heart crack. He wouldn't understand, he never would. If I was in Fang Hua's position and fell in love with another, I would have tried to escape. For her, this harem was a prison and she was caged in like a butterfly. Ming Zheng had it easy though. He could take any girl up in his arms and run out unscathed.

"That general, a friend whom I had trusted over the years, he went to visit her. But then the guards reported to me about their interaction. They've held a relationship together all this time and I was too much of a idiot to know it." His fist smashed onto the table causing the teacups to topple over.

"Please calm down, the children are sleeping." I said standing up.

"I loved her and he was my friend. But the both of them betrayed me. It is a good riddance that Fang Hua's child died." He chuckled with cold rage.

I gulped. My alliance with Fang Hua was strong and I couldn't risk telling him. Not ever. He would never know that their child was still alive and breathing. At least the child would be raised in good heart. All those stories about children being abandoned on the streets, revenge always followed.

"What will happen to them?" Fearful to know of the consequences.

"The general is to die. But I have spared Fang Hua." I let out a relief but I felt sorrow. The general would never know his son. "Please can't you spare him?" I begged as I grabbed for Ming Zheng's sleeve.

"No I can not. No man is allowed to waltz into the harem and take a girl he pleases."

"How can you be so cruel?" I jabbed.

"Cruel? At least she gets to live. He was the one at fault."

"She never loved you. But she loved him." I yelled. How did he not understand the black and white facts?

I crumpled onto the ground before his feet, clutching myself. I couldn't cry, I couldn't. Not anymore.

"Even now you give her your attention when she doesn't want you. How blind are you?" I hissed.

In a sudden moment, his hand met my face and I felt the sudden sting of a slap.

"You know nothing." His eyes were stony.

"I know you love her. I know you favored her over every girl in this harem. But you were too selfish to let her go." I rised from my feet and narrowed my eyes. "All these girls gave you children and yet you still have her in your mind. You were too stupid to realize the other hearts you broke. Including mine." I punched him across the chest.

"Ai-"

"Get out, now." I demanded.

"No." He stood his ground.

"I have nothing more to say to you." My voice shook as I controlled it.

"You know sometimes you're a hotheaded fire dragon. Haven't you noticed yet Ai Xue? You have received everything you wanted. Status, mother's favor, riches and a splendid reputation."

"I got everything I didn't need. I just wanted to be loved." My voice cracked as I turned around. Refusing to face him again. "And I'd thought you'd be kind enough to at least give me that."