Butterfly Aubade

第八章 [ Chapter Eight ]

ROYAL LADY ORCHID: 笑翻 – translated to little ordinary [ Pronounced SH-OW – PHAN)

第八章

By morning he was gone. It was as if his presence was erased and I was alone again as usual. I dressed myself as I got up. The images of the previous night washed into my mind as I flushed a bit red. I left my quarters in search of something to soothe my hunger. 

I made my way to the kitchen to see Chun Hai setting a dish full of lavish foods and she quickly bowed. I carried the tray and beckoned her to sit besides me in the little kitchen area. Many of the servants were surprised at my arrival but I bid them to continue with their work.

"Might I ask miss, how was it last night?" Chun Hai said boldly, her eyes widening in curiosity.

"It...It was quite something." I mumbled as I stuffed my mouth with rice in order to avoid answering such a question. I did not mind her poking around but I was too embarrassed to even admit anything.

"May you be blessed with fertility and a son." Chun Hai grinned.

I smiled and hoped. I knew nothing of anything. It was amazing how much I've studied yet how little I've applied to the world.

---

The day felt brighter and warmer as I walked around the perimeter. In sight I soon caught a glance of Lan Xing painting something. I forced a smile on my face as I made my way towards her. She quickly bowed and a beautiful smile was painted upon her lips. She was so innocent and naïve that I almost dared believed her sincerity.

"What are you doing, mei mei?" I asked as I looked over at her work.

"Painting a gift for imperial mother of course, I really do hope she likes it. It will be her birthday soon!"

I was such a fool to forget that it was almost the empress's birthday. It was rumored that she was turning a ripe age of 87.

"It's lovely." I said without really caring about her work. I looked at the picture and found it to be plain. The classic mountains and pen work were made repeatedly that I did not see any significance in her work. But it was not my business to correct her or her vision and I departed.

Just as I strolled through the garden, I caught site of Ming Zheng. Except this time he was with another concubine. A lower girl on the imperial rank by the looks of her ornament and clothing. I sneered as I felt an unpleasant sensation. This is what the women would call jealousy right? A disgusting feeling that angered my insides at this sight. He should not be happy with her, how could he be smiling and enjoying himself after what he had done the night before? But then I was reminded, I had requested it. I asked and he complied. That was all there was to our relationship after all ...

But I confess.

I wanted more. An ounce of love or truth or something that I could keep treasured to myself. Even at my position and power, I felt like nothing now that his attention was drawn to the young girl before him. The importance of building me up was screwed inside of my mind, reminding me that I would age and my looks would not satisfy him forever.

Though the way he treated the girl. The pretty girl, it looked like he took pleasure at her beauty. The moment he kissed her on the cheek was when I felt the stab of heart wrenching pain. I grasped at my chest for a second as I felt a tiny piece of my heart crumble. I should not care. I should not interfere with his affairs. I hated myself for not being able to turn away. Automatically my feet had manipulated me to walk in their direction.

When he saw me, his smile had faded slightly but there was an enigmatic glimmer in his eyes. I could not read it but it was unusual.

"It is a pleasure to see you on this fine day, my imperial highness." I said with a slight bow. I watched the girl, waiting for her to pay her respects but she rudely stood there like an insolent brat. My eyes narrowed.  

"It's lovely to see you Lady Ai Xue, this is my cousin, Lady Xiao Fan." The girl glared at me as she bowed and then preceded to bring her arm around Ming Zheng.

I was unsure of what to say but then the words fell off my lips.

"I need some help."

He tilted his head with a surprise. He presumed that I was independent enough to work on my own. Truly, I did not want the girl with him and I sought for some time just with him.

"Please excuse me Xiao Fan. I will visit you another day." He smiled as she pouted and eyes burned with fury at me. I knew well enough that she had her eyes set on Ming Zheng but I couldn't help but laugh for the fact that the Empress had not picked her as a wife.

"What is it that you need?" He said with a sigh as we walked down a little pathway with beautiful garden flowers.

"An idea actually, something special to give to mother since it will be her birthday very soon." I said softly.

"You could always ask the other women." He said casually.

"I want your opinion." I said stubbornly as he glanced at me as if to question my health.

"Since when?" He chuckled.

"Always." I mumbled quietly, "but you perceive me to be independent and so I prove it to you that I am strong enough to function on my own." I crossed my arms and playfully punched him on the arm.

He pretended to feel the pain as he rubbed his arm and then smiled. It made me just a bit happier. No, it was better than his previous moment with that girl.

Everything felt almost perfect at that moment where we talked and he told me of the empress's interests. I listened attentively as he talked and talked. His voice felt like trailing music to my ears and I could listen to his voice continue forever. Though in the corner of my eye I almost gasped.

Fang Hua was there again in the company of the general. She looked like she was crying as he comforted her. As we were about to head to the pair I stopped Ming Zheng in his path. Strategically I planted myself in front of him to block his view. I did not know why I was worrying, nonetheless, helping Fang Hua but I did. This was not the time to let Ming Zheng know of her affair.

He attempted to walk around me as I blocked him.

"What are you doing?" He said with a smirk.  

"N-nothing." I stuttered.

"C'mon. There's a beautiful clearing over there."  He said as he took my hand.

"No I like it here." I insisted and just to make him forget his proposal, I leaned up to kiss his lips.

The familiar taste of his lips reacted to my skin like a million little tingles. I could barely describe it but as I parted he looked at me in the same incomprehensible way.

"What?" I muttered, "Do you not like me?" I said narrowing my eyes as I turned my back on him.

"Are you perhaps vying for my attention dear?" He said playfully as he took my by the waist and I unconsciously leaned onto his chest. I could hear his heart beat and it was comforting to know that it sped up just a bit. Or I was simply being a delusional girl.

---

That night he had visited again and I spoke my idea. To my content, he approved and encouraged me to commit. I shyly thanked him in turn which he kissed me. Since the night before, everything felt more intimate.

Eventually, I fell asleep in his arms.