Butterfly Aubade

第二十章 [ Chapter Twenty ]

第二十章

Both me and Ming Zheng were up within a few minutes. This was my verdict, to see if I would still hold any importance over this palace. I wore a faint yellow gown decorated with lilies all across. The children were still asleep thankfully. My maid servants helped me pin my hair into an intricate fashion. I might be just a tad bit vain but I still wanted to look my best. I knew the Dowager Empress would be there and she would have her mouth set into a thin line. The woman was already disappointed in Huan Yue and if she were to birth another daughter, she would be done for.

I walked in pace with Ming Zheng, side by side as we made our way to Huan Yue's quarters. The guards were standing at heavy duty but once they saw us approach, they stood aside. I could hear screaming already and winced at the loudness. Was I that noisy too? I sighed and left that thought to drift away. We passed by several gates until we finally reached her quarters. It was just as lavish as I had last visited. The golden silks hung everywhere and flowers were decorated to enhance the beauty and richness.

I saw Huan Yue in her bed screaming like her life depended on it. Her hair was matted all over and she panted. Her eyes seemed to brighten when she noticed Ming Zheng but once she caught sight of me, they dulled. Ming Zheng approached her and held her arm, pushing away her black strand locks. I bit back my tongue. I wouldn't let foolish jealousy get in the way right now. I knew he was doing all that he could to please her, his princess. The thought still pricked but I knew it was duty. I would never compare to her esteemed title. Now I came to terms, I was just another concubine. A powerful one but not powerful enough to match a princess.

"You'll do fine." I said as I coached her through it. The maids hurried to bring fresh water as they wiped off her brows.

"W-why a-are y-you h-helping m-me." She shivered, forcing down the pain that she was feeling.

"Because it's all that I can give you. Fang Hua is dead, Lan Xing has gone mad. Do you still think of me as childish to bicker with you at this state?" I said with my eye brows raised.

She shook her head in response. I heard her whimper but I soothed her. I came to see her for what she really was. A young naïve girl who didn't know what she had. I remembered in the beginning she just wanted to prance around and fall in love. She was foolish with no doubt but she was just a child. A girl who didn't know any better just like my sisters. I couldn't help but feel guilt as I realized what things would have been like in her perspective.

Given everything yet so alone. She had failed once and the husband she wanted so much had others to love. I held compassion and sympathy for a moment as I watched her squirm and scream.

"T-thank you," she whispered.

I was surprised, she was relentless. She had never seemed to like me nor had she been kind. This was something knew and refreshing. "What?" I asked amused for a  bit.

"I-I'm sorry f-for wh-what I've d-done. I didn't k-know any b-better. I-I'm j-just a stupid g-girl. Y-you h-had everything, e-everything I e-ever wanted at c-court. B-but it made m-me h-happy for o-one t-thing when y-you c-couldn't t-take m-my t-title." She struggled to force out every syllable as she went through her labor.

"I could have been a better person on my part too. You were young and naïve and I could have befriended you rather than let hate grow between us," I said with a small smile.

"I-I'm t-thankful t-that y-you've m-made Ming Z-zheng happy," tears had started rolling down from the corner of her eyes.

I bit my lip, unsure of what to say. But before I could even respond, she let out an ear curdling scream as she pushed one more time. Ming Zheng had been standing aside with the Dowager Empress and they looked surprised by the sudden breakthrough. It had been hours but she had finally delivered.

The nursemaids smiled as they cleaned up a crying baby. "It's a son."

I felt my heart stop. I had foreseen this coming but hadn't prepared myself. A tired Huan Yue took the child into her arms. She cooed at the baby with a smile, a genuine one I had never seen before.

"I think w-we can f-form s-something new." She said with her eyes hopeful. She knew I resented her son but she was trying to end this. All this hatred and loathing we had for each other. Maybe she wasn't so bad. I smiled and nodded, agreeing to such terms.

For the rest of the afternoon, I watched the Dowager Empress kiss her new grandson and Ming Zheng smiled proudly. It was a surprise to me that I was even aloud to hold him but when I did, I saw his cute little face smile up like an angel. He would be my son's future rival and competition. I touched his face and watched him gurgle. Everyone seemed relieved and happy. Rather than to disturb the celebration that was occurring, I slinked back into my quarters quietly. Bidding a quiet good night.

---

A week or so had passed and I had visited Huan Yue often. She was still bed ridden as they fed her soup. The child was frail and apparently weak. The day after he had been born, he had started up a fever. His life was on the line and I knew Huan Yue was worried.

That evening, I blabbered on about my family and how it was like to live with two little sisters and what I had done. Huan Yue seemed more than entertained and happy when I mentioned the time they had accidentally invaded on the privacy of a man and his mistress. She was happier these days and it made me feel better as well.

"I'm sorry about Fang Hua," she said abruptly.

"It's nothing you need to apologize for," I said stiffly. The subject was still sore on me but the reminder of her still stung.

"She was the epitome of princess. I remember when some adored her and rather have had her made as princess. I hated her too. But she found me sometimes and talked to me when I was lonely. She said that you were a kind person too." Sadness appeared in her pupils.

"I didn't know she talked to others ... but she was someone really special." I said quietly. I couldn't cry now, not at the moment anyways. "Let's talk about something happier," I said forcing a grin onto my face.

"Ai Xue.." she said suddenly.

I looked over, it had been the first time she had fully called me by name without any mockery or harshness. "What is it?" I said with a tilt of my head.

"Thank you, for giving me another chance. I want you to know that you're a good person and Ming Zheng was right to love you."

"What's with all this?" I said in an almost teasing tone, unsure of what was happening. It was all too sudden. She wasn't telling me something and I suspected it by the way she had changed.

"I've been really tired lately. I can't hold myself up anymore." She whispered as tears were starting to form on her water line.

"What do you mean? Don't talk about such things. You'll catch yourself a bad omen." I said with a shake of my head.

"I am grateful Ai Xue. Fang Hua was right ..." she started to close her eyes. I truly panicked and hurried her ladies in waiting to get the physician. To get Ming Zheng and the Dowager Empress.