Butterfly Aubade

第十五章 [ Chapter Fifteen ]

第十五章


A week or so had passed by and I could barely come out of bed now. My feet were swollen and I tired easily. I preferred sleep to any other past time. Sometimes Ming Zheng would read me poetry as I fell asleep to his soothing voice. I had grown attached to his company. 

That afternoon I had been sipping tea as Chunhai had decided to embroider a gown that had been torn at the edges. I had laid comfortably in my bed but my back ached from the weight that lied on my stomach.

"How is Sheng Li?" I murmured.

"Very well Lady Ai Xue. He's healthy and I had a mother feed him milk daily."

"That is good news. Make sure he is checked upon by a doctor weekly." I said. A child's health could easily deteriorate and I wouldn't allow that to happen.

"Of course mistress."

"While you'r-" I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. As I looked down, I noticed fluid.

"Mistress!"

"Get the servants, the mid wife, quick! The child is coming."

The pain did not go away. Instead, it burned even more. I wanted to melt into the ground, anything to relieve it. The mid wife had arrived. Numerous women had came to tend on me. I cried as the fire radiated through out my entire body. Sweat had formed from my face. The mid wife had my legs spread as she encouraged me to push.

With each cry I got, the louder the people got.

Hours passed as a rag had now been placed in my mouth. I bit down on it as hard as I could. I tasted blood in my mouth but the hell ceased to pass. I continued to exercise the remaining energy I had.  

I finally heard a cry.

I sighed with relief.

"A daughter!"

Disappointment flooded me completely. Everything was ruined. I was the same as Huan Yue, or even less important. I wanted to sob but I was too tired to. My daughter was wrapped in a blanket as she cooed. I held her in my arms and fell immediately in love. Although her face started turning red and I cried for help. A death of a child would be even worse and the servants took her quickly from my arms.

"Save my daughter. Help her!" I screamed and tears trickled down my face.

Minutes had passed when the Dowager Empress and Ming Zheng had arrived. He didn't look disappointed, he had kept his promise.

"You did well." He murmured as he kissed me on the forehead. I sighed. I had failed him, just like the others. I felt defeated. I could not lose. I would not allow it. Whatever controlled the universe must help me.

"Do not leave me." I whispered as my hand grasped at his, my tears fell from my lashes as I struggled to see his face clearly.

"I will not." Something in his eyes gave me faith. He was speaking the truth and he had not abandoned me just yet.

The Dowager Empress looked displeased. Upset even. I knew how her conviction had been put in me to deliver but I didn't. How angry I was at myself. I was about to close my eyes and disappear into the darkness. I was a coward and could not face the world alone.

But then I felt something else.

To my surprise, I felt another wave of nausea. I cried out as I felt another kick. A thrust. The mid wife had quickly gotten back into her position when I cried out.

"Another child!" She exclaimed with a look of shock.  

At this, I felt relief. Hope. I had a shred of hope left. I begged with all my heart that I did not fail. I could not. I did not want to lose Ming Zheng to another whore. Whatever it took. I wanted his heart for myself only.

The Empress stayed close by as her eyes widened. Even Ming Zheng was there and took my hand, kissing it. I clutched the warmth of his palm for support, squeezing his fingers so tightly. I cried out louder as the child forced its way through. I had gasped for any air. My lungs felt like they had been burned. I was surprised to hear the Empress speak with encouragement.

With a loud and strong wail, I heard the child leave my womb. I gasped and was relieved to feel the pain numb just a bit. My adrenaline was still pumping but I was sure that there was no other child now. I could feel the wetness of blood pool down and I sighed. I was tired and exhausted. Two children had taken a toll on my body. Beads of sweat had formed long ago. I was explicitly exhausted.

"What is it?" I murmured, scared to even hear an answer.

"A son." Ming Zheng whispered and his eyes glimmered with joy.

"A son?" I could not believe it. Had I truly given him a son? Was I imagining and dreaming? Was this reality? If it was a cruel delusion, the heavens might as well kill me.  

"My first grandson." The Empress looked beyond excited as she kissed the boy who was now wrapped just as tightly in cloth. He was loud as he continued to wail in his grandmother's arms.

"What about my daughter?" I asked, worried.

"She is alright ..." The midwife said as she let me hold my daughter.

I took my daughter into my arms. She still breathed but she was quiet compared to her brother. Her eyes were shut as her lips were pursed together. She would be favored by court with her natural beauty. A sense of dread filled up inside of me as I realized what she would go through as I had. I silently vowed to protect my daughter, to let her choose and find her own happiness. To be spared of a life of glass. Where one little error could cause a bleeding cut.

"You have been blessed." The Empress murmured as she cooed to my son. "A daughter and a son within one birth. You are now most important women in this harem. You will be rewarded with your efforts."

"They will be two very important people to me. Is there anything you need?" Ming Zheng said quietly as he smoothed down my mess of hair.

"Stay by side and that will be enough." I murmured. I watched him brush his daughter's cheek. He placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Would you like to meet your son?" The Empress asked as the boy still cried. "He seems to want his mother, most probably hungry."  

"Yes, let me see him." I said softly.

The Empress took my daughter into her arms as she gently rocked her. I peered into the bundle and saw a tiny face. His eyes were big and brown, his cheeks chubby and flushed with redness. When he saw my face, his loud screams had stopped. He observed me as I stared down at him. I placed a finger on his lips as his little fingers wrapped around it. I laughed and he seemed to almost smile. He knew who I was and I found myself loving him just as much.

"Our son." Ming Zheng murmured as his eyes lit up at the boy.

This was just a little slice of ignorant bliss.