Mysterious

Chapter 61

Arissa pushed his hands off her waist. "Stop!" she yelled at him. "Stop! Just stop...." she screamed again starting to turn around to walk away from him. He grabbed her by the waist forcefully.

"Oww. That hurt." she answered.

"I'm not sorry this time, Arissa." he moved in toward her. "What is going on, sweetheart?" his overpowering concern he showed in pulling her forward subsided as he touch her gently. "You have to tell me."

"No, I don't have to tell you, Bruno. You don't listen to me anymore. You have no idea what's going on in my head right now. You never did." she responded not turning around to speak to him.

"Riss...at least try to tell me. I hate seeing you hurt, baby doll. It's the worst feeling in the world seeing you hurt..." he brushed his finger across her shoulder comforting her. She shook her head no. "Please, Arissa." he heard her start to cry. What is going on? How did I not see this? He thought to himself. "Arissa...no secrets."

"It's obviously not a secret, Bruno. You know what I did." she answered sarcastically letting go of his hand walking back up the beach. He ran in front of her stopping her in her tracks. He looked her in her bright green eyes with tears coming down her cheek.

"I don't deserve you. You don't deserve this, Bruno. I'm a fucking mess. I can't stand it anymore."

"What are you talking about?" he asked shocked at her revelation.

"You just picked me because I was convenient. Because I was there. Not because I'm the one Bruno. There's someone prettier, more talented, more everything. I can't give you those things." she confessed her insecurities to him. Do I tell her the same things I always do? That she's beautiful, amazing, nothing would change that? Or do I tell her something else? It's obvious the things I'm telling her aren't working. He hugged her tightly not saying a word. They stood there for several minutes while she cried on him. "I'm sorry, Bruno..." she said pulling away from him.

"I love you Arissa – every single piece of you. " He stopped trying to find the right words to say to her. "Don't ever tell yourself those things, darling..please. You are the one for me. With your wavy crinkly hair, your uneven legs, your freckles on your side..." he touched the places he was talking about as he spoke to her. "Your horrible dancing, your absolutely horrendous singing voice..."

"Hey! It's not that bad!" she laughed at him.

"Your laugh...your cries..." he wiped the tears from her cheek. "You have to stop letting people get to you, Arissa. None of them know you the way I do. I loved you 30 pounds ago."

"But..." she started to say something.

"You have to stop, Arissa. I'm here for you. No matter when or what is going on. I will drop everything for you, even if you just need to tell me that your hair looks good. Or bad, or you want to shave it off because it won't straighten the right way..." He touched her waist again trying to open her up. "And that...why would you even try to do that? Arissa....please...stop."

"It made everything go away." she whispered. He lowered his head to listen to her. "Not eating, running, running...and running...the feeling of..of...and food...and babies...the babies...Bruno...I don't know." she looked up at him.

"I don't care about that...Arissa. I don't care..."

"But you do! Bruno...you care. Don't try to comfort me by telling me things you don't believe in..." she moved away from him.

"Riss...I would never lie to you. Is that really where all this is coming from?"

"I don't know...." she admitted. "The way we were before the earthquake so safe...I got used to it...and now it's changed...changed because I said something to your sister when I was in the hospital."

"Arissa...things are still safe. No one will ever hurt you. Nothing will ever hurt you. You're..." he stopped himself from saying she was doing that to himself. He remembered a conversation he had with one of Arissa's friends, Rachel, who was an LPC. She told him never, ever, never to blame her for the things she was doing. There was a reason for her the things she was doing. It was his job as her husband to find those reasons and to make them better. "Nothing will ever hurt you."

"Bruno...." she looked at him with her green eyes shaded with red from crying. "How do you make things better for me by just being there?"

He laughed at her comment. "It's my job, Mrs. Mars. It's in my job description. Husband, make your wife happy when she's sad."