Sunday 22nd may 2016
It's been 4 years since my mum died fucking hell the time has flew by I've still not got used to the fact that she's not her. I need her back more then people actually realise. My mum was my best friend and my whole wide world and no one will ever take her place because I not let anyone. My mum was the only person I could really talk to about things and when she died it was like my world got turned upside down and I just cried for most of the day when she died. I actually cried nearly all day this year which is surprising.
On Monday 23rd may 2016
At 10:30 I had my lac review i found out I have a new reviewing officer she's a fucking bitch I hate her so fucking much she went on and on about everything. I wanted to walk out and just cry but I couldn't.
At 4:00 I went to see my psychiatrist she didn't weigh me this time thank fuck for that. We spoke a lot about my mum and my dad unfortunately it hurt a lot and she touched a nerve what I didn't want to talk about. But she actually helped me this month I guess.
On Tuesday 24th may 2016
I woke up at 5:20am fuck sake I could of woke up at 6 ish instead but no I woke up way earlier. I've cried for over an hour already. College went really shit I really didn't want to be there. I just wanted to be alone and cry it was all too much for me. I just can't deal with it anymore. People think I'm fine but to be honest I'm falling apart more and more each day and no one even realises or even cares. Why do people have to fuck with my feelings. Fuck sake I hate it so much.
Wednesday 25th may 2016
So it's a new day and guess what I've cried already as normal. I'm broken and no one can fixed me not this time I'm to broken. People always say I will fix you and I will help you and be there for you but when you need them the most they never are there for you or they are struggling so I help them before i can even say I want to die. My suicidal thoughts are really really strong at the moment and I really don't want to go to college if I'm really suicidal because I know I will plan something and I can't plan anything as much as I want to. 😔🔫
YOU ARE READING
My life
Teen Fictionmy life has been hard since 2012 when my mum died I've lost 3 other close family mem since then I try to cope and be strong but it is hard still I don't talk about how I feek anymore since I have gone back into my hell again which I know isn't good...
