We'll Kiss Again

Court date and awake (Chapter 29)

"How is he?"

I stood up and turned around from the spot at Asher's side where I'd been kneeling and locked eyes with him. Shifting uncomfortably, I crossed my arms and walked forwards towards my boyfriend.

It was the first Friday of November. Asher still hadn't opened his eyes yet. Apparently, when his dad shot him, Asher had banged his head on a dresser or something so there was some head trauma in addition to his other injuries. Asher's dad, on the other hand, had woken up two days after the day he tried to kill Emma. His trial was coming up soon and we were all holding our breaths while Asher lay at rest.

Crossing my arms, I pulled my long, maroon sleeves past my wrists nervously. Jason hadn't made any moves to enter the room, so I lowered my gaze to the floor, embarrassed and ashamed.

My first day back to school had been this past Wednesday and I'd made sure to avoid Jason at all costs. I hid in the library during lunch, sat far away from him in class, and pretended to be sick and visit the nurse in any classes I was forced to stay near him. All the teachers were pretty lenient with me at the moment because of the whole murder-ordeal so I basically got whatever I wanted. My parents hadn't wanted any visitors to come see me in the hospital because they knew I had already been so stressed, so this was my first time talking to him since the night of the dance.

"He still hasn't woken up." I came straight from school to the hospital every day and did homework while I waited for a sign that he was going to be okay.

Tears stung the corners of my eyes and my mouth felt raw as I avoided eye contact with Jason. All I could see when I looked at him was pain, sadness, and embarrassment. How could I avoid him after everything that happened? How could I betray him after everything he'd helped me through? Why did I have to hurt such a good guy?

"Come here," he prodded, opening his arms. I looked up with trembling lips, ran into his arms, and buried my face in his chest. He wrapped his strong arms around my waist, his jaw resting on top of my head. "It's okay, shhh. Don't cry."

"W-why are y-you being s-so nice to me?" I asked, my voice breaking. "I hurt you. You should hate me." I pushed myself out of his arms, disgusted with myself for seeking comfort from him. I had ditched him at the dance without any warning, avoided him all week, and now I expected him to pretend like nothing happened and greet me with open arms? How wrong was that?

"I could never hate you. Come here," he pulled me back towards his chest and stroked my hair. "Shhhh, everything's okay. I forgive you."

I forced him to let go of me again. "Everything is NOT okay! You can't forgive me! I avoided you all week!"

He ran a hand through his messy hair and looked at me. "Ashley-"

Raising my voice, I interjected, "-Don't you 'Ashley' me! Stop being nice to me! Just stop it! For goodness sakes, I abandoned you at the dance for my ex-boyfriend!"

"He needed your help-"

"-So who gives a damn? I didn't have to go with him! I wanted to! I chose him over you." My voice shrank now. "I picked him," I whispered.

Jason led me over to the uncomfortable armchair in the corner of Asher's room and kneeled next to me as I sat numbly on the chair, fidgeting with my hands.

"You have to stop doing this to yourself," he said, pulling my hands apart and tilting my chin up so that I could look him in his beautiful eyes.

"Doing what?"

"I get it, okay. You thought you were over him, but you weren't. It's okay that you still have feelings for him."

I rubbed my wet eyes angrily. "What is the matter with you? It's not okay! You don't even care that I picked him! And-"