"Hey..." Jensen walks up to me. I wipe the tear off my cheek. "They're in a better place." Jensen says and sits next to me.
"But I didn't even get to see them." Another tear rolls down my cheek. "They didn't even have the chance to see the world." I sob. Jensen pulls me down onto him and I lay my head in his lap. "We would've been such good days if it wasn't for that stupid drunk ass hole who had to hit them."
"I know." Jensen rubs my back. "I know." He whispers sadly. "We gotta get you back to bed though." Jensen stands up and then picks me up swiftly. Somehow I'm still surprised by that. He can bench press 240 and I'm only 210. He lays me down in bed and then pulls the blanket up.
"What if they suffered? Like they didn't die right away?"
"I promise you they didn't suffer." Jensen says softly laying down. I start crying again just thinking our two future kids are dead.
I wake up and look at the clock on the wall 1:30pm. "Baby." I sit up looking st Jensen as he scrolls on the computer.
"Hmm?"
"Why didn't you wake me up?"
"Because you needed sleep." He reaches beside him and hands me a sack. "I had Jared bring us some lunch."
"I don't feel like eating.."
"Mish." Jensen looks at me worried. "I know this is hard trust me I'm dealing with it in my own way too and I'm so sorry you've been taking it worst but you need to eat. You need sleep you need to take a shower.. Let me help you get over this."
"I just... I wanna be held." I whisper . We both move around so I'm between Jensens legs. I lay my head on his thigh and lay there quietly.
"Can you at least eat a little?" He asks.
"What's you get me?"
"Smiley face pancakes with extra whipped cream." He pulls them out of the sack and hands them to me. "I love you mish."
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We've been laying in bed all day. Just cuddled together. I luckily had my computer on his night stand so we could watch something. I'm sad our kids were hit by a drunk driver and died, I just want to scream at the driver and the kids and everybody and I don't want to fall into depression but I just don't want to do anything... I love Jensen and I love that he's letting me just lay here but I kinda wish he would push me and make me go do something outside.. He could be handling it like I am but just using me as an excuse to stay in bed?
"You okay?" Jensen asks knowing I've looked away and lost interest in the movie.
"I think maybe it's best we get up."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah.. We can go to dinner or see how Jared and gen are doing.. I don't know.. We need air."
"We could see our new place?" Jensen suggests.
"Okay." I push myself off the bed and yawn.
"Hey." He grabs my hand. "We're gonna be okay, okay?"
"I know." I smile.
