"I haven't spoken to him in a week, he has the kids right now and I'm kinda chillin'."
"You said you haven't slept well in four days right."
"What do you do, when you know something's bad for you, but you just can't let it go?" I asked and she looked at me through her thick glasses.
"Are you regarding your relationship with Marshall?"
"Yeah I was naive, his love was like candy artificially sweet, I was deceived by the rapping this whole life I'm living. I feel better then I look Doc."
"Do you almost feel trapped?"
"Yeah of course I do. I got caught in his web and I learned how to bleed."
"What's trapping you?"
"Sex, I was prey in your bed and devoured completely. History, our son. I feel like I should have known that I was used for amusement couldn't see through the smoke, to me it was real and to him it was all an illusion now I've been licking my wounds since we met, but the venom seeps deeper we both can seduce, but when he wants a relationship instead of a relationshit I feel like he holds me like prisoner. I'm always home when that happens and I'm not a homebody- he is."
"Like at Night when you lay down what exactly do you think about? What do you feel?"
"Every time I try to grasp for air, it feels like I am smothered in despair it's never over, seems I'll never wake from this nightmare, and I let out a silent prayer for this to be over. It feels like inside I'm screaming, begging, pleading no more and he's sorta beating me down with his words. So, like what? Now what to do, my heart has been bruised, so sad but it's true each beat reminds me of him."
"What do you feel around him?"
"Like any minute I'm about to break, I can't stop this ache. Like I'm high, I'm addicted to his allure, and I'm hoping for a cure. Like every step I take, leads to one mistake. I keep goin right back to the one thing that I need- I can't mend, this torn state I'm in getting nothing in return. What did I do to deserve the pain of this slow burn and everywhere I turn I keep goin right back to the one thing that I need to walk away from-"
"Him?"
"Him."
"Have a idea. They have jobs-"
"I ain't working as no damn stripper." I said and she laughed.
"Spoken Word Jobs."
"What would that be like?"
"You go up there and you speak. Like you used too. When you get enough money you can pay for a apartment and-"
"I can't leave him." I said.
home
"Angel what do you mean?"
"I don't know what I want any more. When she came to our son's birthday party and she disrespected me. You don't let her do that. I'm your girlfriend, she is not."
"Yeah about that."
"People ask if I'm in love with you because I'm sitting here with your picture and smiling to myself I'm kinda lost in my own thoughts of you. My heart speaks before my mind thinks through and I blush as I say yes. I do love you I'm concerned about how you feel. I remember when it all first began. We were tight right from the start. It wasn't long before you came on strong. Trying hard to win my heart I played hard to get but I couldn't help. I gave up my ironing. You were thoughtful careful not to hurt the relationship.What happened to those days when. You used to be compassionate."
"I'M NOT NOW?"
"What are we fighting for? Why do we even bother? We don't see eye to eye no more, this house is tearing apart? What are we screaming for? Why does it matter?" I asked.
"It doesn't." He said and I looked at him and he sighed.
"Just go. I'll bring the kids tomorrow."
I walked to the guest house and walked and I sat on the couch.
Next Day
Marshall's POV
Home alone I can't get no sleep. The pills haven't kicked in yet I guess. I saw her this morning and she looked almost as depressed as me. Ironically her favorite show, Martin was on a marathon run. Cole is funny but there's no one here to laugh but me. I groaned and realized how much it hurts and it's gotten to the point I can't even enjoy nothing without her. I started crying and I called her since all the kids but Mario were at school.
"What do you want?"
"Maybe this decision was a mistake.You probably don't care what I have to say but it's been heavy on my mind for months now. Guess I'm trying to clear some mental space." I said.
"If you think you're going to lie to me then hang up right now. I'm not doing this back and forth shit Marshall no more."
YOU ARE READING
Suffocate (Sequel To: Together)
RomanceI breathed in and wiped my face. So much shit had happened and I didn't know where I was going with my life. No husband, thanks Kim. Single Mother of two, thanks Marshall. No car of my own, thanks asshole. I was kidding myself. Nobody understood. No...
