Suffocate (Sequel To: Together)

Winter In Me

Back when they got their first place together. (Not the one in 1991 but one in 1993 that I didn't add)

Angel's POV

We sat on the floor and looked at the skyline. We were eatting Chinese food and drinking beers. Laughing and joking off. I looked at him and belched.

"What the fuck? That sound was surely unangelic."

"I ain't apologizing for shit."

"Yo, I've been thinking about stuff." He said.

"What's up?"

"I was 17 and the gift under the Christmas tree was stupid, pointless to me. She saw that I wasn't happy and she got pissed. She kicked me out. It's fifteen degrees. She's all like 'Little Prick just leave' I was like 'Mom let me grab my fuckin' coat.' she cut off the sleeves and handed it to me. It was pointless. I don't know what's wrong with her. I just got a call saying my little brother got put in the foster home yesterday and I'm pissed off."

"When can I meet your mom?"

"When I feel like I can trust her. I've seen my little brother bounce around a lot from foster home to foster home. Nate just got taken away by the state and he's eight. I'm 23 if I ever get in a position to take him, I'ma take him. I tried to apply for full custody when I was 20, but I didn't have the means. I couldn't support him.I watched him when he got put in the foster home yesterday. He was so confused. I mean, I cried just goin' to see him at the foster home." Marshall said and I laid my head in his lap.

"You think we might get married one day?"

"Yeah. It maybe twenty years from now, it may me two years from now but the shit will happen."

Present

I looked at the frost upon the ground as we stepped out the truck. I could smell the excitement of the holiday season choking us. I walked into the house calmly and the boys were stuffing their faces with grilled cheese sandwiches.

"Someone looks just like there daddy." I said kissing Brandon's baby cheeks. Mario looked at me and he asked softly to talk. I took off the extra clothes and turned on the fireplace. I sat in front of the fireplace. Marshall came over and sat with me.

"I didn't mean to be such an asshole it's just I was alittle angry with the dude." He said and I smiled.

"I'm fine." I said and he kissed me before hugging me and walking to the door that lead into the basement. Mario came over and I hugged him.

"Is this about why I left?" He nodded.

"Mommy left because Daddy said something to set her off, I've been with daddy on and off 17 years at the time and he wasn't committing to me. I was lost, I was pregnant. I told him I would leave and I did. I don't know why but, I'm home now. On top of that I got the ring. I'm happy now. I got my babies. Plus one." I said and he looked at me and then my stomach then back at me. I smiled.

"Mommy." He said and I kissed his cheek.

"Yep! Don't tell daddy." I said and he smiled.

"I want a little sister." He said and I smiled.

"Go get Daddy and your brother and sister." I said and kissed his cheek. Hailie, Alaina, and Whitney came down. Alaina looked at me and smiled. She hugged me and I kissed her cheek.

"I remember when you were in Dawn's belly. Yo, girl when your were born Kim and Em just, 'I want her, she bounces around too much.' I had my daughter so, I knew what I needed and I love being around kids so, I knew what ever you needed you had me. I love you, Alaina." I said and kissed her.

"Love you too Auntie." Alaina said and kissed my cheek.

"Hailie." I said and she walked over.

"Yes."

"I remember when yo ass was a baby, you were the sweetest, quietest baby like in the universe. I loved you and Alaina. You changed your daddy's point of view. Don't think that his mindset about you girls has changed, okay. Dad's addictions and whatever he does everything for you guys same way for me. I love you."

"I love you." She said and hugged me.

"What's the problem." Marshall, Brandon, and Angelina said and I had Nathan, Debbie, and Ashley, Nathan's girlfriend sat down with Ashley's little girl and Angelica in Angelina's lap.

"Big News."

"You have cancer."

"Shit, no. I'm pregnant." I said and everybody cheered. Marshall stood up and kissed me. His hands wrapped around my waist and kissed me. I hugged him and we smiled.

"Another baby." He whispered and he hugged me again. He was shocked but, I guess baby number four could not be different. I sat on the couch and they basically took over everything for me. My boys looked at me and kissed my stomach. I was only four months and you know. That bump was coming in swiftly.

Later That Night

I took off my shirt and pants and laid down. The cool air wrapped around my body and I laid down on the bed and Marshall kissed me and he looked at my stomach.

"Yo, this shit is crazy." I laughed and he did something he had never done before. He kissed my stomach and talked to her.

"Baby you're so precious." He said that a lot and kissed meh belly. I jumped from a futter that happened in my belly.

"Did you feel that?" I asked and he nodded and his face rubbed against me. Wow, he's so affectionate right now.

"God looking at my damn life from now to 2007 I'm shocked."

"What happened the night you over dosed?" I asked and he swallowed hard.

"I think I slept from 3 in the afternoon 'til 10 o'clock. That's when I remember waking up and I couldn't move. I was like, Fuck it, I'll just lay here. I woke up the next day at noon. I literally slept all the way from 3, 4 in the afternoon 'til noon the next day. I had got these mysterious blue pills that day from my dealer and basically I ate half of the pills that he gave me. So I get up and I'm like, Okay well, I'm straight...I'm gonna take more. I took half the first day, then I took another half the second day. And the last thing I remember is trying to use the bathroom. I remember standing up to take a piss and I just fell over backward. Smack my back on the trash can, break the trash can. And I get up again, and this time I fall over the other way, to the side. I remember that the bathroom floor was cold. And I remember trying to crawl over to a rug. I got to the rug, and that's the last thing that I remember. There are some things I have to keep to myself when telling this part of the story for just protecting myself. I woke up in the hospital and when I woke didn't realize it was Christmas." He said and my eyes kinda watered because there were some things I didn't tell nobody. Like my overdose in 2006. Right around Thanksgiving.

"I overdosed the day before Thanksgiving." I said and tears spilled over,"I was lonely and sober wasn't in my vocabulary anymore. I took a big hit and basically heroin pulls you in a zone so you're high but sleeping. I damn near choked on my own throw up. A neighbor found me. She turned me on my side called 9-1-1 and cleared the drugs from my house. I guess. I woke up in the hospital breathing is hella swallow, I'm coughing up blood and I'm tired. I got tubes in me, heart monitors, I'm being feed threw a tube, IV's, BP monitors. I had a nervous breakdown. I wasn't functioning for two years. I heard you had overdosed and I was like lord have mercy. I mean I was in a dark place so I really can't tell you how bitter I was toward you. I didn't have love within myself. I weeped everyday because, I was weakened. It took my heart and just wrecked it. Time passes and things change everyday. I know now wounds heal but scars remain the same so, I basically got an idea of what I wanted and I got my life together and then I come home only to get shot. See where positivity gets you?" I laughed softly,"yeah life back then was shemurrrrrr. But, being able to see the kids and be married and be Angel for a while is different."

"Shemurrrrrr?" (iisuperwomanii on YouTube she's great. Shemurrrrr)

"Yeah shemurrrrrr." I said and I laughed. He kissed my belly one more time and then closed his eyes.