An Instrument in His Hands

Part 1 Chapter 15

Part 1

Chapter 15

The next morning as Mother began again to persuade me to wear the golden courting robes, I decided to take a different tack with her. I was sick of fighting about clothing every day. ‘I think you may be right, Mother,’ I confessed.

She stopped silent in the middle of her tirade. ‘What did you say?’ she asked.

‘You may be right about Aaron. It may be that he is courting me. I just don’t know.’ Was this a dangerous thing to say? Would it get back to him? And if it did, would he take it seriously? Or, worse yet, would Mother follow up on it? Perhaps I was relying too much on the fact that I had no dowry to protect me.

Mother waved her hands in the air. ‘Of course he is courting you! Haven’t I been telling you that for weeks?’

‘Please calm down, Mother. I’m just saying that you may be right.’

‘Of course I’m right! So, put on the courting garments before you go out.’

‘Are you trying to ruin my chances with him?’

‘Of course not!’

I sighed and turned to her calmly. ‘Well, absolutely nobody in my generation courts with those old fashioned clothes anymore. Do you want me to look odd?’

‘But you are being courted by the son of the king!’ she yelled. ‘ You should look different. You should look royal!’

I replied calmly, ‘Not when it is against the King’s law to be unequal. Nobody my own age courts in clothing like that. Must we offend the king?’ then I turned and left the room.

I heard fuming behind me, but Mother finally was persuaded that I did not need to wear courting garments.

When I left her room, I literally bumped into Andrew and Muloki listening in the hallway. ‘Did you hear any of that?’ I asked them, as if the whole neighborhood hadn't heard my mother.

‘Yes,’ they answered together with mischievous smiles.

I eyed Muloki. ‘You are not prone to gossip, are you?’

‘For a price…’ he said.

I walked past them into the front room. ‘A price? You wouldn’t dare!’

Andrew followed and began to complain to me. ‘Why did you have to sweeten her up like that? Now she will get out of bed and start to manage my life.’

I rolled my eyes.

Muloki suggested, ‘You could buy me off by kissing me in front of her and that would make her mad at you for a long, long time.’

I put my hands on my hips and asked him, ‘How many objects do you want her to throw at you, Muloki?’

‘How good is your mothers aim?’ he laughed. Then he said to Andrew, ‘Sorry, Brother, but you will have to be the bad guy for a bit. I can’t afford to get that much in disfavor with your mother.’

I reassured Andrew, ‘Don’t worry. She’ll be mad at me again soon enough. Wait till she remembers that I don’t have a dowry.’

‘I don’t want to be here for that,’ laughed Muloki.

‘Neither do I,’ said Andrew with great feeling.

‘Neither do I!’ I said. Then we all giggled.

I was still smiling over our jokes when Aaron came to fetch me.

‘What’s so happy?’ he asked as he tugged on my braid.

‘I was joking with Muloki and Andrew, and it was really funny.'

‘Oh?’

‘Sorry, but I’m not sharing,’ I giggled and tried to retrieve my braid from his grip.

‘Ok, I’ll ask them.’

I stopped walking. ‘Only unless you want me to kiss Muloki. That’s his price for silence.’

Aaron pulled my braid forward and started walking.  ‘We’re going to have a talk,’ he said.

‘I’m not a horse!’ I complained as I was forced to follow. But he held onto my mane anyway.

He did not let go.

‘People will gossip if you hold my hair,’ I cautioned him. ‘Look at those girls pointing at us. You should be careful because people talk about everything you do.' Maybe I would have no need to kiss Muloki to stop gossip. Let him tell. But then, it might be fun to kiss Muloki just once before I became an old maid.

We were walking briskly, and Aaron said, ‘You know what I like best about you, Abigail? You don’t simper at me like those girls. If you don’t like something I do, you tell me right out, or you stop talking to me.  I like that. You make me feel like a regular person. Not one of those girls would do that.’

‘Ha! You are not a normal person. Look, even those young men are staring at us!’ I scolded.

He smiled. ‘They just wish they were holding your beautiful golden hair.’

Aaron led me to a copse of trees behind the wall of King Benjamin’s farm and we sat down on a log. He kept my braid in his hand.

‘I’m not going to run away,’ I told him.

He still did not let go, but untied my braid and started fingering through it like he had the day before. He did not speak.

I sighed and turned sideways so that he could use both hands to play with my hair. He combed his fingers through each strand. Ahh! It calmed me down. I closed my eyes and enjoyed it, remembering times long ago.

‘I did a lot of thinking yesterday,’ I finally told him.

‘So did I,’ he said. ‘Tell me.’

‘Well, you may have noticed that I’ve been angry with you for years…’

He gave my hair a long tug to the right. When we were children, right meant yes and left meant no.

I continued hesitantly, ‘It made me purposefully forget things about my childhood, especially where they concern youand your brothers.'

He gave an encouraging sweep along my back.

‘I started to remember things yesterday, sort of like that woman we visited remembered her old times.’

‘Good,’ he whispered.

I brought my knees up to my chest and whispered back. ‘I…I forgot how much I once loved you.’

He stopped and held his hands still like a bird.

I continued on. ‘You see, I adored you when I was a little girl. You were tall and handsome and you honored your Priesthood. I thought you were perfect.’

He grunted.

I opened my eyes. ‘No. You were really a good boy, you were!’

Aaron started wiggling my hair again.

I sighed and leaned my head on my knees. ‘I loved you so much back then. I forgot how much until yesterday.’

He waited, then asked, ‘Anything else?’

I shook my head no. That was all I had to say. Then I whispered, ‘I’m so sorry we lost each other.’

‘You were my little good luck charm.’

I nodded, and allowed a tear to escape.

After a moment, he asked quietly, ‘Why did you turn against me?’

My back stiffened against his fingers. ‘What?’

‘Abigail, why did you defend your brother, Andrew, so vehemently against me, when you never defended me against those who would lead me astray? Why?’

My jaw dropped. What? What!!!!

He gave a tug on my sash that once held his rabbits foot. ‘I want to know - why weren’t you that loyal to me?’