An Instrument in His Hands

Part 1 Chapter 16

Chapter 16

I turned around and stared at Aaron. ‘Are you serious?’

‘Never more so.’ I could see the muscles in his jaw working. ‘Why weren’t you that loyal to me, Abigail?’

I blinked in disbelief.

He continued, ‘You called me all kinds of names – childish ones, but they hurt, terribly.’

I put my hand on my chest. ‘Are you, are you blaming me, Me, for your sins?’

‘Absolutely not,’ he stated. ‘There is no excuse for them. I’m asking what happened between us so long ago.’

I shrugged and looked down at the ground. I thought of all those girls that whispered about him and simpered over him while we walked here. Maybe they behaved that way back then too. What a temptation that must have been for him! I looked up again and suggested, ‘I was a child. You weren’t.’

He glanced away, towards the corn fields beyond the trees. ‘It would have been nice if you had been older.’

‘What?’ I laughed without humor. ‘So I could rebel with you?’

‘No. I meant that maybe you could have kept me from temptation.’

I looked up at Aaron. ‘Believe me, by the time I realized that you really were what everyone was telling me you were, you were far beyond any influence I had over you.’

He quickly turned his head back to me. ‘You defended me?’ he asked.

‘Ha! Foolishly! I couldn’t believe you were doing the things others told me. It was not like you.’

Aaron began to smile in a very satisfied way.

I raised my eyebrows. ‘Don’t get too happy about that or I’ll get mad at you all over again.’

He raised his eyebrows too. ‘Why did you take off my rabbits foot?’

‘You were going around with girls! Why should I have to tag myself as “off limits!” when you obviously didn’t?’

He reached as if to play with my hair again. ‘You weren’t old enough to be “on limits.”’

‘That is beside the point. You did not behave with honor.’ I said as I smacked his hand away from my hair. ‘Don’t even try to tell me you did!’

‘I’m not trying to excuse my behavior. But I was older than you and had an interest in girls.’

‘Humph.’ I folded my arms.

‘And you represented everything I was rebelling against.’

I slid a bit away from him on the log. ‘Oh? Is that so?’

He stared down at his empty hands. ‘You were pure and virtuous, almost saintly. You were the embodiment of my father’s hopes for me. You meant responsibility and a life of selfless service. I wasn’t ready for that.’

‘So that’s why you began to make fun of me?’ I asked, my voice growing higher.

‘You were like a judgment of me, every time you turned your eyes my way.’

I turned to him. ‘I hated you.’ I felt some of that anger return even as I said it. I was breathing hard.

Aaron grabbed my chin. ‘Abigail, please don’t look at me that way again.’

‘I remember,’ I whispered with narrowed eyes, ‘how you looked at me when I was defending Andrew from you. You would have hurt me – badly, wouldn’t you have?’

He held my gaze and swallowed. ‘I’m so sorry,’ he finally said.

My heart softened as I looked deep into his eyes, so genuinely contrite. They were not anything like what we were remembering. I deflated. ‘I’m sorry too,’ I replied.

‘Can you forgive me?’ he whispered.

A tear sneaked out of my eye. ‘I want to completely, but it’s very, very hard,’ I sniffed.

He rubbed his thumb on my cheek. ‘What can I do to speed it up?’

‘Aaron, you do so much already. You’ve fed us, sent us help, rescued Andrew and restored his sanity, and taught me how to serve others.’

‘But I want to do more. What more do you need?’

I laughed and tugged my chin free of his hand. ‘Either a vocation or a dowry! And maybe the ability to cook and clean. Perhaps a peaceful and happy mother would be nice too. Can you do all that for me?’

‘You really don’t have a dowry?’

‘Spent, by Andrew.’

Aaron growled. ‘He should be knocked silly for that!’

I raised an eyebrow at him.

He shook his head. ‘Right. That’s my fault too. No wonder you get so angry with me.’

I looked away and tucked my knees into my arms again. ‘Oh, I’m resigned to never marrying. I’m quite resigned to not having riches either. I only wish I could make beautiful baskets, or had some other means of earning my own way.’

‘I don’t believe you are resigned.’

‘Oh, it has its compensations.’ Then I smiled and gave a giggle. ‘Just think how much fun I can have teasing young men like Muloki without any consequences!’

He took me by the chin again and turned me towards him. ‘Has Muloki kissed you?’ Aaron looked intense.

I blinked a few times, caught in his grip. ‘He knows I have no dowry.’

‘Has Muloki kissed you?’ he repeated firmly.

‘Not yet.’

And Aaron promptly kissed me - quickly and possessively. ‘There! Now you’ve been kissed. You don’t have to try it with Muloki!’

A thrill shot through me from head to foot and left my lips trembling. I was kissed! I'd never felt anything like it!

I liked Aaron's kiss, even if it was a little peck, even if he was my enemy. I felt amazing - all warm and glowy inside. I leaned forward to do it again, but he put me away from him, and kept me at a distance.

I walked home in a daze.

When I returned, I noticed that tied to my sash was a brand new golden rabbits foot, the exact color of my hair.