An Instrument in His Hands

Part 3 Chapter 1

Part 3

74 BC

Chapter 1

This was awkward.

I spent the last four years of my life studiously avoiding this man. I could have enjoyed the company of the Christians in Jershon, but for his sake had stayed away. And now he was here in my land.

I felt the young man who was escorting me to the missionaries tighten his grip on my elbow and then grab my other elbow to steady me.

‘Abigail?’ Aaron croaked.

I nodded.

My heart started to race. I was anything but indifferent to this man who stood before me after nearly twenty years. As a child I had worshipped and adored him. As a youth I had loathed him with every fiber of my being, and as a young woman, well, I had almost been betrothed to him. Then God had led me away from him to come to work in Antionum.

There were a million questions in Aaron’s eyes.

He chose one. ‘Is this your son?’ his eyes gestured to my escort.

‘No,’ I squeeked. Then I remembered why I was before him and turned to my young man. ‘Yes,’ I said instead, and turning to the hundreds of people gathering behind me, I said, ‘They all are. Please teach them the gospel of Christ. They are prepared to hear it.’

And then I smiled, because suddenly, my whole life made sense. My whole life, and his whole life, had been travelling to this moment when I would bring hundreds of people to listen to him teach the words of God. God had fulfilled his purposes for us.

And then, because, after all, I was speaking to such an old friend, I added, ‘Even if it is taught by Alma,’ and I rolled my eyes and giggled. I was so nervous that I ended with a hiccough.

I hoped he would get the joke. Alma had been the leader of the rebels against the church in our youth, and I had greatly resented him. After seeing an angel of God, he had grown up to be the man chosen by God to lead the whole church. We considered the high priest to be a prophet of God.

Aaron relaxed. But his eyes said he would save his million questions for later. I was not to get off lightly. He’d been holding them for nearly twenty years too.

The missionaries with Aaron turned about too. Alma was preaching to the rich Zoramites on the other side of the hill. My poor Zoramites sat down to try to catch his words to them.

Ammon and Omner walked towards us. ‘Don’t tell me you finally found little Abigail, Aaron?’ Ammon walked over and put his hands on my shoulders. ‘The lost sheep is found!’

I looked deep into his eyes. ‘God knew where I was,’ I replied. ‘I was never lost.’

Omner greeted me also. ‘You must be the one they call “Christian Lady.”’

‘I am,’ I replied with a nod.

The crowd behind me began to whisper, ‘They must be Christian Lady’s family.’

‘Will you please teach my friends?’ I asked them, and glanced down the hill.

My former student stepped forward. ‘We have been forbidden to worship in the synagogue we built with our own hands. How may we worship, we ask?’

Ammon immediately went back to Alma, and called his attention to the multitude of humble listeners behind him. Alma turned about and looked at my poor Zoramites waiting patiently to hear his words, and he smiled hugely.

Ammon gestured towards me.

Alma walked over and greeted me with his hands on my shoulders. I never dreamed that he would remember me. ‘Thank you, Abigail,’ was all he said, and squeezed my shoulders hard.

In that moment, I forgave him.

I watched him walk back to the top of the hill, and completely ignoring the rich Zoramites behind him, began to teach my friends. That was true Christianity.

I had not heard the gospel preached by anyone for nearly twenty years. Like a parched and wilted plant, my soul lifted to the rain of words Alma began to pour out upon us. I closed my eyes and sucked it into my thirsty soul.

Aaron sat facing me and did not once take his eyes off me, as if afraid that if he did I would disappear again. I could tell that he was not going to let me walk away without a holding a grand inquisition of why I had left him. What more could I tell him than the simple truth he already knew? And what did it matter now? But I put him aside for a few moments to hear the gospel and to enjoy my loved ones hearing it with me.

He watched me absorb the words of life as I watched my friends absorb them. As Alma taught the poor Zoramites about being compelled to be humble, I thought of my own life, and how God had taken it and humbled me, and how I had consistently chosen humility after that. Could Aaron read my story by the clothing that I wore? It was coarse and dull, and my golden hair was wrapped simply with a brown cloth. Today, because of my long travels to gather my friends, my sandals and feet were covered with brown dust. Perhaps my face was also.

It was not the best way to present oneself when greeting a former beau.

Yet, perhaps that was best after all, for he was married. No matter how much it made my heart pound to glance across at him, it must be thus. I must avoid him still, at all cost. I must rely on the Lord.

Alma went on to talk of faith and hope and mercy. God had such mercy upon me! By exercising faith, and hope when there was no hope, I had been given mercy to sit here on this day with my measure full of my harvest. I was blessed above all missionaries.

He talked of nourishing seeds. Like the word of God, my love for Aaron had been a good seed, a pleasing seed to the Lord. For fifteen years I had nourished it and let it grow. Then suddenly, I had ceased to water it. Was it still alive? I was so afraid that it was, and even more afraid that his was, the way he was watching me so closely.His big brown eyes were studying me and every thought I had.  I must not nourish that seed! I must not let it bask in the sunshine of his presence! For it was sunshine. How had I ever had the courage to walk out of Zarahemla and leave him? Like the man in my dream standing at the top of the mountain pass, he was magnificent in the Lord!

It had taken an angel of God to persuade me. I was determined that it would take nothing less than an angel of God to make me stay near him. I would have to slip away into the crowd. Yes, I would have to slip away.

Suddenly the young man who was escorting me was standing and speaking to Alma. I focused my attention upon him. ‘How might we plant this seed of which you speak, that is the word of God? Or, in what manner should we begin to exercise our faith?’ He spoke well, and I felt great pride in him.

Could I leave my people if Aaron stayed to teach them?

I began to pray in my heart as I sat on the flowers in that mountain meadow. ‘Oh, God,’ I began. ‘How might I remain to serve these people now that Aaron has come? I do not wish to be in his presence. I dare not! Thou dost know the intent of my heart - to not in any way interfere in his marriage. I still have feelings for him. How can I run away, yet still remain? In what manner can I still exercise my faith?’ I pleaded silently.

Aaron’s eyes narrowed as he watched me intently. I would have to be discreet.

Alma went on to talk of the Israelites simply looking upon a type of the Son of God to be healed, and as he spoke I felt the love and assurance of God that all would be well. He was still with me and had a plan for my life. I would follow it in faith. He would open a path before me.

Aaron leaned towards a young man who was with the missionaries, and after he whispered to him, he arose to walk down the hill. I followed the young missionary with my eyes. What was Aaron up to?

I caught his eye and he smiled ruefully. I caught his eye again when a man named Amulek began to preach. ‘Who is he?’ I mouthed.

‘A convert,’ he mouthed back. I nodded and listened to Amulek.

When Amulek was done, I sought to slip away into the multitude, for a great many more people had gathered closely to speak with the missionaries. But Aaron quickly grabbed my arm fast.

‘Not this time, Abigail,’ he stated. And I could not escape. His grip was like a vise.