An Instrument in His Hands

Part 1 Chapter 20

Part 1

Chapter 20

Usually, when I was perplexed or upset I climbed my tree until the problem either went away or I resolved it. But this time, my decision was so portentous that I threw myself into the work of cooking and cleaning and washing clothing – anything a Queen would never do, or so I told myself.

I was terrified to be the Queen and I was terrified to be Aaron’s queen. What had I gotten myself into? And if I wanted to, how could I get myself out of it? Did I want to get myself out of it? Did I really have any choice?

Part of me loved the idea and quivered with the joy of it, and part of me hated and feared it. Part of me adored Aaron and his love for me, and part of me mistrusted him and his past. And then, I wondered, could I be a queen? Was there anything else I could be? I was so confused!

I had just a few weeks to decide.

That night, after I burned a batch of beans, broke a clay jar, and washed my sash until I wore a hole in it, I finally retired to bed. I could not sleep. I tossed and turned on my mat until I heard a commotion in our front room.

Father was up talking to Muloki. I arose.

‘They have been missing for a day,’ I heard Muloki report as I stumbled down the hallway.

‘Where were they last seen?’ Father responded curtly.

‘What has happened?’ I asked, coming into the room and brushing my untidy hair away from my face.

‘Andrew is missing.  So is Aminadab, one of our best missionaries,’ Muloki said in a clipped voice.

‘Has harm come to them?’ I asked, blinking myself awake.

‘They were last seen at a party where there was alcohol. I’m afraid they were both drunk.’

‘Both?’ I asked in a rising voice.

Muloki nodded tersely.

‘I’m going to look for them,’ Father stated. ‘Can you give me directions?’

Muloki did so.

I was shaking. Andrew relapsed? The repercussions that would have on our family could hardly be contemplated. What had happened? Had mother pressured him into taking an important government position, as she had spoken of that afternoon? Had he rebelled?

‘Please don’t leave me alone, Muloki,’ I begged as he turned to go. ‘I can’t, I...’

That’s when I noticed that Muloki was shaking worse than I was. He sat down and clasped his hands together tightly.

I turned my attention to him. ‘Can I fetch you some water?’

He drank it deeply, and ate the bread and honey that I set out for him.

I knelt before him. ‘There is more to this story, is there not? Please, tell me.’

Muloki groaned, ‘Aminadab was my missionary. He was in charge of my rescue.’

‘Oh, Muloki, I’m so sorry!’

He put his head in his hands.

What could I say to comfort and strengthen Muloki? ‘Perhaps he will be sorry and come back tomorrow.’

Muloki shook his head and whispered, ‘He’s lost.’

‘Did he show any signs of weakness?’

‘We all are weak,’ he groaned. ‘Only in God is our strength. One day of not preparing ourselves for the battle, just one day, and we become as other men.’