Complicated

Chapter 11

I scoot myself close to Harry and rest my head on his shoulder. He wraps his hand around me and I nuzzle into him. Even though we're naked, it's oddly not awkward. Just when Erich made his decision and I thought my world was over, Harry comes into my life. He grabbed me when I was most vulnerable but I could care less. It's been a night; one damn night and the three poisonous words are already threatening to escape my mouth.

I kiss him on the cheek and there is an indent that forms under my lips. I look at him as my lips recede, watching the smile on his face.

My hand lays over his tight bare stomach and my finger swirls with the meaningless permanent black lines engraved onto the skin. Are they meaningless? My mind begins to think what if they have meanings to him. I don't see the point of getting a tattoo without having a story or a meaning behind it. My hand swirls up to his chest where two birds lie symmetrically on both sides. I keep my eyes on the art drawn over his body.

"How many tattoos do you have?"

"I believe there's 44? The last one I got was the rose." He opens up his arm to a straight as I look at the beautiful rose by the crease of his arm.

"Do you regret any?" I look up at him for my eyes to meet his.

"Definitely. Like this one." He points to a design that resembles a purse on his wrist. I sit there looking at it, wondering what it could be. After a small silence I finally give up.

"What is it?" He laughs.

"It was meant to be a padlock."

"Oh." I turn his hand over and examine his arm like a science project. "Do they have any meanings?"

"I think of it more that they all have a story of why I wanted to get it. I've never told anyone the meanings no matter how long they would pester me."

"Oh." I look down. I didn't mean to pester him I just was curious.

"No! Not you! I'm talking about other people. But for some reason, I want to go up and down my arms and chest and describe each story to you." He smiles with reassurance and I do in return, knowing I'll be the only one to know the secrets behind these mysterious scribbles marking his body.

He tells me how the ship on his left bicep is next to the solid shaded heart because as much as he loves traveling and exploring the world, something always brings him back home. Harry also points out that though symbolic, he really does love ships. He tells me how they make him feel free and away from the rest of the world. He explains how the letter A was done on his left shoulder for his mother and the small A on the fold of his arm for the same reason, but it was done by his friend, Zayn. He brings his knee to his check, showing me the two screws drawn onto his right big toe. He tells me that it means he will always stay grounded.

He points out a closed cage on his left rib cage. He says it represents the past and how caged in he always felt. He informs me that the birds on his chest are swallows and are facing each other because the have the same destination. It represents them traveling and being freed from the cage. He says the theater masks next to the cage represents how emotional his childhood and past was. On his left forearm, the words 'things i can't' is written boldly with the same font of letters reading 'things i can' on his right forearm. I believe it is the only work done on his right arm. He tells me his meaning for it is that with bad also comes good. So for everything you're not able to do, you are able to do another. It reminds me of the quote saying 'when one door closes, another opens'.I never knew so much was meant by the ink scattered across his body.

"What about the rose?" I ask after he lists off 43 tattoos.

"The rose is done in black because it represents wilting- waiting. To me, it means how long I've been waiting for love, wilting away with each time it's passed around."

"Wow, that's amazing." I say, softly running my two fingers over the tattoo.

"But" he says, pausing until my eyes meet his.

"Now I think I've found that love." He smiles without taking his eyes off mine. I am amazed by this boy, completely revealed in front of me, revealing himself further with his inner thoughts and secrets being let free into the calm air that lies between our bodies.