Can't Let Her Go {A Luke Hemmings Fan Fiction}

Shay's Point Of View

"Only know your lover when you let her go."

  Staring at the bottom of my clear cup of water; searching, wondering what possibly went wrong? Of course this plastic cup of water will never tell me. But what have I done? Sighing, I get up from the dark red bench lunch seat, and make my way to the water bubbler; pouring out the rest of the cool liquid. Not bothering to watch it slide down the drain, I step towards the exit of the lunch room. I guess I should go to the girls restroom and wait there until class starts. I quickly walk through the empty lightly dimmed hallways. Dark blue and red lockers line up the walls on each side. In a pattern; a blue locker, then a red locker etc. 

 Everyone in my grade are still at lunch, it doesn't end until fifteen past eleven. I glance down at my black and grey LG Optimus smart phone reading the time; it's ten-forty-five so I have still enough time to just wonder off in the school. I change my directions to the bathroom and take a right at a four way hallway instead of going left, in the opposite direction of the restroom. I stepped closer to the blue and red lockers, delicately grazing my fingers over the cool hard metal with my right hand.

 Softly my black vans tap against the white and blue tiled floor. With my left hand I swing it back and forth in slow motions; taking in my poor surroundings. I try to enjoy everything I possibly can before I arrive home. It's quiet and peaceful here as my fingers lightly dance across the lockers. Small chatter growing louder filled my ears as I swing around and see a crowd of students walking to their lockers. How could I have been so careless to not know they'll be coming back? Panicking I rush to my locker in the far corner of the hall next to the painted white brick wall. My social anxiety always gets the best of me. I feel like I'm drowning in the dark abyss of the choppy ocean. Attached to an anchor by foot, slowly sinking down to the sand of the bottom of the ocean, with no escape. Eyes wide open seeing predators as I struggle to unhook the anchor, hoping to make it back to the top of the watery surface.

 I usually rarely go to my locker while everyone else is at theirs. I'm usually in class by now, sitting in the far back right hand corner, looking out the window. Twirling my combonation into the lock, I begin to shuffle in my locker. I search and grab for my maths textbook. The green spine with yellow lettering stick out to me, and I grab it. Pushing my blue locker closed, I swing back around, my back to the lockers when someone taps my shoulder.

 "Hey, I was told to come to you? Uhm," A blonde haired blue eyed boy about a foot taller than me looks down at his slip of paper reading off it.

 "Uh Shay? That's you correct?" I quickly look down at my white on black vans. 

 "I uh.. Yeah I'm Shay." I say as quietly as possible.

 "Oh okay well, I was told to come to you. I just started here. We have the same classes yeah?" Looking up, he fixed his black beanie on his blonde head, making eye contact I look away. At home I'm punished for eye contact. I really don't feel like getting objects flung at me right now so I look away. 

 "Okay we have math first." I weakly state. 

 "Alright sounds good. Ladies first?" He motioned with his long arms in front of us. Nodding, I instantly head down the long hall and take a left into a classroom. A small amount of students were already in their assigned seats as I walk to the back of the room. In my usual spot in the far right corner next to the glass window. Going un noticed to me at first, the boy who had followed me pulled the chair out from next to me; making a slight screeching noise, the metal legs sliding across the tile floor. I watch has he fits his slim, but long body into the chair. I couldn't help but show a little smile when his feet kind of stick out from underneath the desk.

 "Something funny huh?" He quietly laughed. But laughing was prohibited in my house. Strictly the rule of my father; and the punishment is getting a beating from the silver aluminum bat. 

 "I'm sorry I didn't mean to." The sound of my voice traveling out of my mouth faintly, as I turn to look out the window; hoping my father won't find out somehow. 

 "What? Why be sorry for laughing? And why can you never make eye contact? Am I really that ugly?" He replied chuckling slighty trying to lift the mood. Ignoring his attempt, I tune into what the teacher is talking about as well as trying to focus over the noise of some girls in front of me trying to silently laugh, but failing miserably. I couldn't help but notice that they were staring and giggling at the kid next to me. Looking over, he's doing his work, what are they laughing at? Oh wait they're girls of course they're laughing at him because he's attractive. Wait I'm not supposed to think that. I'll get in trouble for having feelings.

 And why need a boyfriend or feelings when you have music? Music doesn't do any harm, and it heals you. If I have feelings, not only will I be punished, but I could get hurt from a careless boys mistakes of thinking they have feelings for me, to just dump me and go for another prettier, skinnier girl. Screw boys and feelings, I have music. And music is all I need.

 Class went by too quickly for my liking. This being the last class, I have to go home now. You know the saying "Home is where the heart is"  Yeah that's bullshit. Home is not where the heart is. But maybe if I did have a boyfriend, or even a friend, life would be easier to take on. But who knows for sure? I sure don't. Interupting my thoughts, the boy speaks again as I pack up my maths text book and paperwork.

 "I'm sorry if I have upset you in any way possible. I didn't mean to for what ever I did that I have upset you with. But maybe we could hang out today? Like walk to the ice cream parlour with me after school? Get to know each other kind of things?" Oh shit. If I don't return home, I'll be severly punished. But then again maybe I should not return, and have fun for once. It's quite tempting. No one has asked me to hang out before. And you know what they say "The good out weighs the bad."  My mouth fastly responds before my brain can catch up.

 "Yeah. I'll come with you."

HIIIII! Sorry this is my first fan fiction :/ It's boring so far I know I know ha ha,  but I promise it's going to get better; this is only the beginning of it. Oh and sorry that it's short, the updates will be longer don't worry. Hopefully you guys like it :) Updates will be from every day to every other day. So I won't keep you guys waiting too long. Also please give me feedback, like if I should continue or if I should do any ideas for the story etc. Thank you for reading xx