Can't Let Her Go {A Luke Hemmings Fan Fiction}

Chapter 18

Shay's POV

The cold white walls seem to be closing in on me. The sound of the heart monitor beeping every so often fill my ears and seem to be forever sketched into my brain. 

I sit up and look around in the hospital room that they're keeping Chad in. Calum, Luke, Ashton, and Michael said that after band practice that they'll come over to give me some company. I know Luke and I still have unfinished business with all these rumours. He seems like a completely different person now that he has returned home from touring the world.

He used to be nice, shy but out going at the same time, sensitive, funny, generous, but now he's cocky, and rude. It seems like he has forgotten everything we've been through before he left. The promise especially. 

"Hey, how is he?" Ashton asked as they all piled into the room. I look up and slightly shake my head.

"He's in a coma. They don't know when, or if he will wake up." I quietly state and look back down at my hands. 

Luke rubs his face with his hands and sits down in the chair next to mine, while the boys leave the room to go get something to eat.

"I'm sorry." Luke whispered and looked at me. I couldn't meet his gaze, so I looked back down at the floor.

"Okay." I reply and look over to see a lifeless body lying on the bed. The tears slip out and soon I'm quietly crying.

"Hey it's going to be okay shh." Luke leaned my head on his shoulder as he wraps his long arms around me. I've missed the feeling of his touch, but it seems so foreign to what I'm used to.

The tears stop flowing and we just sit in silence as he rubs his arm up and down my back gently. 

"I don't think he's going to make it." I choke out, my voice hoarse from crying all day.

"Shh don't say that. Of course he will, we just have to wait." Luke reassured me, but I'm not believing that. I get up and walk over to Chad's cold, pale body and take his hand in mine. I squeeze it slightly and try to warm his lifeless hand in mine. 

I stand there for what feels like hours until Luke speaks up.

"C-can we talk?" He asks and pats the seat next to him, gesturing for me to sit. I nod and let go of Chad's hand, and sit next to Luke.

"I didn't forget about the promise." I look over at him confused and anger builds up inside me. 

"What?" 

"I didn't forget about the promise." He repeats himself and brings his eyes to mine.

"Then why didn't you call? Or at least return my texts? Do you know how badly I needed you?" I stand up and shake my head. I walk over to the other side of the room and slide down the wall, then sit on the floor.

"I was going to at first, but management told me I wansn't allowed to. I refused but -" He began explaining but I cut him off. Is he really blaming this on management? What the fuck?

"Are you really blaming this on management?" I coldy laugh and place my head in my hands. 

"Would you let me finish? Yes, management did ban me from communicating with you, you wanna know why? Because you're bad for my image. They didn't want the world to know that I was dating a depressed, suicidal, scarred girl." He paused to take a breathe, but my eyes are already filling up with tears again. Did they really think about me that way? Did he think about me in that way?

"What?" I asked in disbelief. Am I really that worthless?

"But, I refused to believe them, and told them what I thought about you. I said, 'You're the most beautiful girl I know. You are my star in the night sky. You're my anchor when the tide tries to keep me away. I can't live without you. I love you." Luke paused again to take a breathe. I sit there in shock at him meaningful words. He l-loves me?

"But then, right after I was finished telling them about how much I love you.... They showed me a picture of you and Chad. It broke my heart and they told me that you have moved on. I kept telling them that you guys were just friends, but they insisted."

"I wouldn't let go of you, I still had hope that you were waiting for me back home. But they told me different. I got depressed for awhile, and I wouldn't do shit. Finally they had to distract me, so they set me up with Tracy. The girl Chad said I was cheating on you with."

"She doesn't mean anything to me Shay, you should know that."

"Luke -" I try to interject but he cuts me off.

"I still love you."

Sorry this was such a shitty and short chapter ): I thought I should get something up around Christmas time for a present but looks like I'm a half hour late, I'm sorry ): I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday, and got whatever they wanted (: My family fought like usual so my Christmas was idk awkward I guess. Comment what you got for Christmas (: ily all Merry late Christmas