Can't Let Her Go {A Luke Hemmings Fan Fiction}

Chapter 12

Shay's POV

Slowly, I opened my eyes to have the beam of light coming through the dark blue curtains blind me. I wiped the sleep out of my eyes, and jumped a little once I felt another body next to me. I looked over to see Luke smiling, examining my face. His light blue eyes reflect the light and they seem to be shining. 

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I yawn, stretching my arms out. He reaches over and grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers together perfectly. 

"Well you woke up crying from a nightmare, I decided to let you sleep longer."

"Oh. I was crying?" Well that was weak. He probably thinks I'm a baby. Crying because of a nightmare. Little bitch move I see? Why won't the voices leave me the fuck alone? Sweetie, I will never go away.

"Hey, you okay?" Luke waved his hand in front of my face, snapping me out of my thoughts. I blinked a few times and acknowledge that he was talking to me.

"Oh yeah, sorry. Now what did you say?" I bite my lip. I was a habit of having anxiety. It usually tears off the top layer of skin off. I've been getting better at not doing it as much, but I still do.

"Yeah, you were crying. You were also calling my name out, so I thought whatever you were dreaming about was terrifying, so I woke you up." I nod and feel slightly embarrassed that I called out his name in the dark. He probably thinks I'm clingy.

"What... what were you dreaming about?" He asks timidly and he directs his attention down to our intertwined fingers. He lightly brushes my knuckles as I think if I should discuss my dream with him.

'Uhm, well, it's nothing really important really. But well, you know, my fathers voice was just echoing in this cave I was in. I was strapped down to a chair with a bomb ticking off. He told me uh, things about you and I. Then I heard your voice call out, and so I started to scream for you. I woke up when the bomb was about to explode." I awkwardly look at the ceiling as I tell him about my nightmare.

I said it wasn't a big deal, but it terrified me. Everything that he said about Luke and I. Maybe he was telling the truth?

"But you're okay now. I'm here, so you don't have to be afraid. What did he say about you and I?" I look him in the eyes, complete seriousness. I sigh and lean back on to his fluffy white pillows.

"He said that, you don't really like me at all. You aren't going to help me with my problems. You only have me for a good fuck. That you lied about protecting me. You don't care about me. I also shouldn't have any feelings towards you. All I ever will get is hurt." Tears fill my eyes, but I force them down. I purposely leave out that part about the voice saying that Luke doesn't love me, I don't want to open up my feelings towards Luke.

Not now.

Not ever.

 All of these statements could be true. But I have a sliver of hope that he was just trying to get to me.

"Shay, do you believe any of that?" He asked, his face hard, eyes staring straight into mine. I looked over at his closet as I contemplate on what I should answer with.

\My mind swirls with all the possibilities of what I could answer with. Should I say yes? Or should I say no? I believe the voices. But I also don't. I'm torn between believing and not believing. I don't believe that Luke would use me for a fuck though. There's many other girls that would work better with. But he could just be pitying me about my problems that I opened up to him at the park on the swing sets. 

I'm a closed book stored in the dark corners of the library that no ones wanders to. But Luke has seemed to have stumbled across the darkest corner that held my book. He opened it up and read the first chapter. To read the next chapter, he's going to have to unlock the lock. The lock's key is stored deep in my heart. I, the author just has to decide if he can have it to unlock all of my secrets.

"Yes. I do believe it. I also believe that you don't really think I'm beautiful. What I do believe is, that I'm a lost cause and you should stop trying to help me." I'm shocked by my own decision and he seems to be to. His mouth his left parted slightly, and his eyes are widen. 

After a few moments, Luke closes his mouth and relaxes his eyes. He wraps his long arms around me and pulls me close to him. We lay there in silence, entangled in each others legs and arms. He rests my head on his chest,, and flashbacks from last night appear. I can hear his heart beat as he thinks of my answer.

"The fact that you have so many negative thoughts about yourself, and then don't see how beautiful you are, really upsets me. You are the most perfect person I have ever laid my eyes on. It seems that we've known each other for forever. Last night when we hung out, we talked like we were best friends that knew everything about each other. I felt like I was weightless and free. You brought me so much happiness on one small date." He brushes the hair out of my face, and I try my hardest to take in everything he said. I breathe in and out, trying to calm my racing heart. I don't want to sputter out anything I would regret.

I smile and look up at him as these words leave my mouth.

"Hey idiot, I love you."

Sorry, I've been extremely busy :/ I'll update tomorrow, I promise I will :) and also, thank you so much for 375 reads and 29 votes! This is a huge! It may not be as huge as other authors, but to me it is omg :) thank you guys so much! I love you all, and I hoped you had a wonderful weekend xx