Personification

Depression

I have friends, I just feel lonely.

I have love, I just feel empty.

I have a life, it just feels worthless.

When people ask me to explain, I can't. Because I don't know what is happening.

I want to be happy. I try to be happy. I'm not sad. I'm just empty.

It's like zoning out from the real world, but to nothingness. Like everything is happening around me, but nothing in me.

Like I am hopeless.

It's not something I can just "snap out of". It's ongoing.

It's not imaginary. It's there and it's real.

It's not in my head. It's everywhere around me. It follows me around.

It is like I say I'm fine but need someone to save me.

It's like I'm wearing a mask that covers my tears, covers my true self and just shows my side that lies. My side that says "I'm fine".

Like I hide the hurt and pain.

It's like I'm broken and can't be fixed.

If I walked out, would anyone care? If I left now, would anyone notice. Does anyone actually care?

It's like I'm falling but to nowhere. To nothingness. To the end. And I want it to end but it won't come. I want to finish.

It's not sadness, it's pain.

My smiles on show, but hidden to my mind. People see my smiles, so don't think about my pain.

But I don't see my smiles. I don't know they're there. All I can see is my pain and my smiles don't exist.

I'm not "down". I'm not "sad". There's just nowhere for me to go from here.

And the pain is not being able to share my tears. Not being able to let rip. Not being able to cry and carry on. But be stuck... Like this.