Catching Fire: The New Story

Nightmares are No Problem

Peeta's POV

My fingers fumble as I remove the suit my prep team dressed me in earlier. I can't get my mind off of Katniss. I throw the clothes to a corner and search for sweats to change into for bed. I sit on my bed, running my fingers through my gelled hair. It feels hard and dirty, so I shower. I wash my hair and remove the makeup. I stand, letting the water run over me, thinking about Katniss still. She is every one of my thoughts. Everything about her, big or small, runs through my mind. The most important things to the least, but what isn't important about her. I look back to everything I have ever memorized about her, and wonder to what I haven't. Her beautiful smile she hides away; the fake smile she gives when she isn't happy, but she tries to cover it up. Her soft laughter when someone truly makes her laugh, and the loud laugh she gives around the people she is comfortable with; the way her eyes close and her head tilts back as she is laughing. The braid she has her hair in every day, all the long, dark chestnut hair twisted away from her face, even though it somehow manages to fall into her eyes at all moments; how she twisted her hair into two braids as a child, when I first saw her, and when I fell in love with her. How beautiful she looked today in that dress; her sparkling hair and her lips colored in a rich maroon, all I wanted to do was devour her. Her gray eyes that hold my world; the way they shine fierce and strong. Her bravery that made her head of her household after her father's death; the bravery that never broke, even in the scariest of moments she has lived, only broken in times alone with her mind. The courage she can't see; the one I wish I could've had with me the day I realized I was in love with her, so I could tell her. Everything about her, the many things I know, make me smile, make me think over my life. What if I had never heard her sing? What if I never saw her that first day of school? What would I be without her? What would I be loving now if I didn't have her? Would I have found her eventually, if I didn't find her that young? Everything I went through that led me here, having her, well, almost at least; I would do over and over. I would go through every obstacle again and again to have her. Almost, it is enough for me. At times, almost was never been enough. Everything about her is so perfect, I didn't almost want to have her, I needed her at all times. She is so perfect, how can anyone be so perfect? How could anyone surpass how perfect Katniss Everdeen is? Even at my lowest, my darkest, the worst of my days, she is the brightness at the end of them.

I stumble out of the shower, examining my cheek in the mirror; it is swollen and bruising. I change back into the sweats I left on the floor of the bathroom and lay on my bed. The clock above the bathroom door says midnight. I stood in the shower for hours; makes sense as when I got out, the water was freezing cold. I spent hours just thinking about her, remembering, scratching at every detail I know about her, indenting them into my skill to memorize and never forgot, not matter what I do. All of this since I left her room at nine. Three hours I have been like this, stuck in her trance. I don't even think I am half way done going over everything I know about her, yet I haven't gotten to what I don't. I left my questions unanswered, I haven't spoken the ones I have for her just yet. I need them answered to complete my thoughts. As if she hasn't already completely overrun my mind, I will always be missing something new about her.

I jump off my bed when I hear her scream. I run to her room, I would know her screams anywhere. Always from nightmares, Katniss is thrashing and whimpering and crying and screaming when I enter her room. I rush to her side and pin her down before I bring her into my arms. She fight against me.

"Shh, Katniss. It's okay," I whisper. She's whimpering about something indistinguishable to me. She is still half asleep. Tears are rolling down her face, her hands grip my shirt tightly in her small fists as she is aware of who she is holding onto now.

Still half trapped in her nightmares, she mumbles, "No, no." They never seem to go away.

I rub her back as she stirs in her daze; she sweats with anticipation of waking from her terror. Her hands stay fists, filled with my shirt. She bolts up after a few minutes, her eyes traveling everywhere in fear before she fells back into my chest, sobbing.

"You okay?" I ask cautiously. She nods, her quiet self. It is something resent about not having myself. I rock her until she is peacefully asleep again. It takes a while, though, almost an hour, but she is back asleep. I only know because her breathing is slow and steady; she is curled up so tight on my chest, I can't see her face. I am content until she wakes again after another nightmare, she refuses to tell me anything about it. I dose off after I put her back to sleep; Katniss on my lap, practically straddling me and gripping onto me for her life. I am at the space before full sleep when I bring the covers over us and snuggle deeper into the bed.

She never cares when I do this now. It helps us both when I stay with her, keeping her ill at ease, quiet through the night. Protecting her from the demons inside her mind; keeping her in reality, sane, or somewhere close. I can't protect her when she is sleeping, I know that, there is a trail back to that engulfing hole she is hidden in when she is asleep. I find her and pull her out of it when I come, keeping her safe from falling back into it at times.

It was after the Games on the train back home, she the same thing. I came to her while she was bawling her eyes out, huddled against the headrest of her bed. I came in to ask her if she was okay, she shook her head. Neither of us were okay. But she asked me to stay, so I did. Sometimes, I think I need to do more to protect her, but she doesn't need the protection. I do. She is the braver one in this one–sided relationship. I am the weak one, almost dying countless times in the arena. She saved me multiple times, I wouldn't have made it back without her help since Haymitch didn't seem to acknowledge that I was even still alive. I would have loved her even when I was gone, no matter what happened.

I have nightmares as well. They are always about losing the one thing in my life I can't live without. The girl laying in my arms. The one I saved. The one who saved me. The one I will continue to save and continue to be saved by.

My Katniss.

The only Katniss Everdeen out there.

Katniss Mellark–Everdeen, that sounds nice.

Katniss Mellark. Ha, that sounds even better.

I like the way it sounds in my mind. Silly, and unnatural, in the air it sounds better.

No, I love the way it sounds. I just wish she did too.

•

I think everyone loves these cheesy chapters. I do. I am an injured baby right now. I slipped and feel on my foot, which damaged a bunch of nerves and hurt like hell. I also bruised my knee hardcore. I am a clumsy butt. But it is much better (you guys probably don't care haha whatever) and I missed a test yesterday since I missed school. Oh well.

Hope this chapter makes you want to cry. bye

~ Jez xo