Catching Fire: The New Story

Chapter 68

Katniss's POV

"So, I've heard that everyone wants you two as allies." Haymitch says as we walk into our floor after a long day of training again. I yawned and nodded. I wasn't very interested in who wants me in the arena or not. He seemed a bit mad at me for my reaction to something that should be exciting. I shake it off as something he always does when he talks to me. I don't feel like talking.

"Oh. Good." Peeta says. We sit down in the sitting room with Effie gone. I don't ask about anything. I just stay quiet and lay my head on Peeta's shoulder. Too tired to even keep my eyes open for another minute. Might as well fall asleep here.

"And little miss I don't want anyone as an ally say." Says Haymitch. I sit up and glare at him. He laughs.

"I want Beetee and Wiress." I say bringing my head off of Peeta's shoulder. He looks at me in disbelief. Both of them. I roll my eyes.

"Johanna calls then Nuts and Volts." Peeta says. I'm taken back. Johanna. Ugh. All I could remember was her stripping naked in front of these two. Little nice show they had, my ass.

"It's not who you want or don't want, girl. It's who will keep you safe for as long as they can. You're pregnant. You can't defend yourself as well as you can without that thing inside of you." Haymitch interrupts me. I almost scream but I keep my voice calm.

"It's not a thing, Haymitch. And, I'm the one going into the arena, why am I not allowed to pick how I want as my allies?" I ask.

"I am too. And I want you to be safe after-" Peeta starts. But he cuts himself off. I know what the end of that sentence was.

"It's- just do it, sweetheart. The boys right." Haymitch says again. I nod, angry that I can't get my way. But sad also. Thinking of Peeta actually dying for me. I see now when Peeta and Haymitch call me stubborn. Peeta stands up and walks back and forth, giving me a headache. He has to stop doing that. I think. Haymitch speaks up once he has also had enough with Peeta's shoes hitting the floor over and over.

"Boy, stop. Sweetheart, who else do you want?" he asks. Annoyingly in a voice I do with Prim. Prim, her name brings tears to my eyes. I think of the speech I had for her before they took me onto the train to my death. The voice I used with her was like I was talking to a five year old. It was sweet and caring. Haymitch's sarcastic tone measures it off.

"Mags." Peeta walks the other way in disbelief. God, what did I do?

"Really?" he starts. "These people, I know they're nice Katniss. But they won't protect you!"

"He's right." Haymitch says. You need someone to protect you. I mean, Mags is such a sweet lady. I'll be sad to see her go. Everyone knows she won't last long. She's one of our oldest victors. But you need someone to protect you. Like Finnick."

I groan. "Really? Finnick? If rather die in the arena."

"Katniss, don't say that." Peeta says furiously. I nod.

"Sorry." I mumble.

"Okay, I'll tell them you're still making up your mind." Haymitch says. Then leaves to his room. Probably to drink again. I'm a big pain in the ass, aren't I?

"No you aren't." Peeta says. I'm guessing my mind doesn't realize I said it out loud. Nice Katniss. I mentally hit myself. I should really stop thinking like that. Or just stop thinking all together. It gets me nowhere.

"Sorry. Just-"

"Thinking out loud." We say together.

"I know." He says. He kisses my forehead and I lay my head on his chest. Sleep was calling me after this long day. Food was also, but I've become too lazy to really move at this point. I close my eyes and after a while, I feel Peeta picking my up and taking me to my room. If the rest of our days consist of Peeta taking me to bed, I'll be fine. If the nights didn't consist of the same nightmares going at me over and over again, it'd be better.

*

"Gloss Dallison." The woman announces on the speaker in the room. Today was the last day of training so tonight is the private training. Gloss is first up. Then his sister, Cashmere. And so on. Until Peeta then me last. I hold his hand as we sit on separate stools. All the gray of the Training Center and our apartment has gotten to me. Any other color seen by my eyes is completely off, counting everything Effie wears. It's always so colorful. While the walls are a dull gray. I hate it. I want my old green room back. I want Peeta's orange, I mean, sunset room walls. I want the comfort I get when his arms are around me and I'm actually safe.

I was never safe. Ever. Ever since I volunteered. Ever since the first time my name was in that bowl full of children's names. The first time my foot stepped past the barrier of District Twelve. When I held my first bow and arrow. Since I was born. I've never been safe, I don't think I ever will.

The names go by fast, soon it's already to Eleven. Chaff is called first. He nods to Peeta and I, wishing us luck. We nod back and whisper a thank you. I just want to talk to Peeta for a minute. Alone. After a couple long minutes, Seeder's name is called and she walks off, with a wave and smile that warms me. I look to Peeta, who's hand is still in my shaky one.

"How are we going to kill these people, Peeta?" I whisper. He shrugs. I don't want to kill anyone anymore. I already have. All the tributes in my first game. Then the old man at Eleven. And everyone else who defied the Capitol by raising three fingers as a sign as thank you or goodbye. No matter what I do, it kills someone. I should just stop. It'd be safer for everyone.

"I don't know Katniss." Peeta says back. I nod. My eyes stare at the floor. Imaging everything that's happened in my life. Everything good, everything bad. I breath in and out slowly. Peeta squeezes my hand once in a while. Then, his name is called. I stand with him. I hold his hand while he hugs me. Then kisses my lips. I let go and sit down, watching him walk out of the waiting room. I wish they put any other color than gray. It reminds me of my eyes. Which remind me of Gale. Then the Seam, where my eyes are from. Along with my district. Then all the bad, horrifying memories that haunt my dreams at night. I close my eyes and try to think of anything but that.

I open them when my name is called out. "Katniss Everdeen." I stand and walk out. I keep walking down the hallway and turn to my right, where the Training Center is. The door lifts up and allows Peeta to exit, and me to enter. He looks at me as he passes me. He pulls me by my waist and kisses me, passionately. He lets me go and kisses my forehead.

"Good luck." He whispers. Then leaves. His eyes were red, was he crying? What did he do?

I keep my walking pace slow as I see the Gamemakers walking around their protected room. There is a force field around it, Beetee pointed it out to me the first day of training. I laugh at it because I am the cause of them putting it there. I start for the table in the middle of the empty, quiet room. I look down and see a painting. Peeta did this, tears come to my eyes and I let one fall. It's Rue, from above when I covered her with flowers. Right after I sang to her before she died. I breath in and out, trying to calm myself.

"Katniss Everdeen." I look up and see Plutarch. He said that. "You may start now." I nod and wipe the tear released. I grow angry. Because they killed Rue. Because they are making me go back into the Games. I quickly grab a dummy we use to fight with, a bottle of red ink to camouflage with, rope and a hanging rack. I place the rack in front of the Gamemakers. I paint on the dummy with my finger and wrap the rope around its neck. Knotting it with a devils knot Gale taught me. I threw the end of the rope over the rack and pulled on it, bringing the dummy up to view. I tied it to the table and stood to the side.

All the Gamemakers gasped. I couldn't even believe what I did. But I already did it and I couldn't take it back. I bend down and curtsy like how Effie taught me. And walked out. Throwing the bottle of red paint over my shoulder. Not caring where it lands, splashing the paint everywhere.

What I did, will get me killed. What Peeta did, will possibly too. So, were both dead. He painted Rue. The little girl they killed, I got a dummy and painting Seneca Crane on its chest. Hanging him. He did die, but that was defiance. And, that's my middle name.

Ohhhh, what happens next? I don't even know. I just want to write more. I love writing.

Can you guys please please please please please please pretty please look at my new story called This Changes Everything? PLLLLEEEAAASSSEEE!! it would mean everything to me. And it's a new story I have like a million chapters for. But please look at it. And leave feedback so I can know if it's good or not.

Thanks you guys. I love you all. Thank you!!!!!

~Jez