Letters to my lover..

5

Dear love,
Today I found out that you are in the hospital. I may not be with you anymore but I will always worry and care for you. I'm praying more than anything else that you will be okay and that you will be eventually safe one day.
When I found out that you had to be rushed to the hospital, I wanted to drop everything and run all the way there just to make sure you are okay. I don't think you would like that though. You meant a lot to me. Yeah I may have ran away from you but you have to understand what you have done to me was not acceptable. I couldn't take the pain that you caused me.
Honestly, I'm not even sure what I'm doing anymore. I don't even understand myself the way that I used to. I used to know who I was, what I wanted to be in life. That completely changed when I left you.
I can just Imagine you on the hospital bed with tubes hooked up to your arms and you are asleep. I can see me walking in very slowly and sitting down right next you you and holding your hand. I feel like you may know that I'm there and you can feel me touching your hand and you will squeeze my hand to tell me hat you know that I'm there.
Then again, I can see it going completely bad. I can see that right when I walk in, you are laying there all bruise up and looking like you are just about to pass. I can see that when I walk over to you and touch your hand, you jump away from me. I can see you waking up and screaming cause you are scared. The nurses come in and escort me out of the room to help you calm down.
There is so much to say. But little time to say it.

~love~me