Kpop Imagines

A Nightmare You Can't Wake From - RM

You've been dating Namjoon for over a year now but lately you've been distancing yourself away from him. You weren't consciously doing it. It was something that happened for a while and when you noticed it, it seemed as if you couldn't go back. You couldn't fall in love with him again no matter how hard you tried.

"Babe, do you want to go out tonight?" He asks as he watches you get ready for work.

"Not really.." You admit without giving him a reason or a lie. Since you found out that you don't love him anymore, you canceled or rejected any dates he plans. You thought maybe this way he'd break up with you so you wouldn't have to do it.

"Okay... What if I told you I'm taking you out tonight and I'm not taking no for an answer." Namjoon says in a stern voice.

"Do I really have to?" You whine as you sit beside him.

"Yes. I already have reservations made. We're leaving at seven and I'll be home at six thirty. Please be ready by then because this is really important." He says as he holds your hand.

"Okay, okay." You give in.

"Promise?" He looks into your eyes.

"I promise." You say looking straight into his eyes. He smiles and gives your hand a kiss before you make your way out.

As soon as Namjoon gets home, he quickly walks to the bedroom with a smile on his face and excitement rushing through his body. He opens the door to find you sleeping and not ready at all. He drops the gift he had in his hand and walks to the living room. He sits down on the sofa to process things but after a few minutes he gets back up and exits the house.

You wake up to darkness surrounding you. You look at your phone to find that it's nearly nine at night. You quickly get up and you're about to run to the living room but you notice a box on the floor. You pick it up and open it to find a ring. You then run to the living room where you find Namjoon. He has a beer in his hand and there are five others, empty on the floor.

"Namjoon.. I'm so sorry." You say quietly.

"For what? For saying you'd be ready when you clearly weren't? For breaking another promise? For breaking my heart? Go ahead, choose." He says before gulping down the last of his beer.

"For everything." You say honestly. You never wanted to hurt him but here you both are.

"I was going to propose to you. It was supposed to be special." He chuckles.

"I know...I really am sorry." You say as you sit down on the sofa that's furthest from him.

"Do you love me?" He asks a question he never wanted to ask but he knew it was time.

"What?" You say, feeling shocked.

"Do you love me?" He repeats.

"I...I..." You try to tell him the truth but it seems so difficult.

"Just fucking say it! Say you don't fucking love me and you never have!" He gets up from his seat. You can feel his anger and you feel the need to stand up.

"Hey! That's not true! I did love you! I loved you so fucking much!" You defend yourself. You're not going to let him make you look like the bad guy when you tried so hard to be good.

"Then what the fuck happened?"His voice is calm now.

"I don't know... Feelings change, Namjoon. I've tried to love you the same way but... It just doesn't work like that. I really do want to love you again. You're the perfect guy and I'm the most undeserving person in the world. If it helps, I love you like a friend. I still want you in my life. I love talking to you, I love spending time with you but I just can't love you like I used to. I'm sorry." You explain. He stays quiet as he sits back down. You let him process what you just told him.

"How long ago did you stop loving me?" He asks quietly. You sit back down at this point, hoping he's calm for the rest of the talk.

"I don't remember. It wasn't like I woke up and decided I don't love you anymore. It happened slowly." You respond.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He gives you a question that you thought he knew the answer to by now.

"I didn't want to hurt you! I really care about you, Joon." You state. How could he not understand that you did what you did for him.

"Oh! You didn't want to hurt me! Well I'm totally fine right now!"

"Joon, I'm sorry!" You apologize for what feels like the hundredth time tonight.

"Okay, so if I never confronted you, if I never got you to admit that you don't love me anymore, what would you do for the rest of your life? Keep dating me? Get married with me? Have children with me?! All while cheating on me?!" Your jaw drops as you hear that last line.

"I never cheated on you! How dare you say that! I never even flirted with other guys!" You shoot back.

"Well you would have sooner or later." He says in a careless manner and it angers you so much to know that he thinks you would do that to him.

"No, I wouldn't! I love you and just because I don't love you romantically, doesn't mean I would do anything to hurt you, especially as horrible as cheating on you. I can't believe you think of me like that!" You shake your head.

"You stopped loving me and never told me! What the fuck am I supposed to expect?!" He yells back.

"Not that! Look Joon, I'm sorry and I wish I could have told you the truth the second I started feeling differently. Please forgive me." You're trying so hard to keep your cool for the sake of showing him that you do care about him.

"I can't. You fucking hurt me." He's a grown ass man but hearing those words come out of his mouth, you see him as a child. You kneel down on the floor in front of him and place your hands on his cheeks.

"Namjoon, I did everything with you in mind. Some time from now, you'll find someone who gives you the same love if not more. I wish I would have broken up with you earlier, so you could find that someone sooner but I'm sorry. All I can ever say is sorry. You don't have to forgive me. I understand. I'll come back for my stuff another day." You get up and walk towards the door to slip your shoes on and exit the apartment.

Namjoon sits there, broken hearted with so many thoughts in his mind that bring him pain. He was madly in love with you, you were everything to him and you just took it all away. Part of him wished you continued dating him without confessing how you truly feel, part of him wanted to run after you and forgive you but he's weak. He can't move at all. He can't even cry. He just sits there wishing he'd wake up from that nightmare.