Kpop Imagines

First I Love You - RM

You're on a date with your boyfriend, Namjoon. It's your three month anniversary and he took you to a casual restaurant. After being with him for a while he knows fancy restaurants aren't your thing. He's taken you to them a few times and he took notice at how uncomfortable you were. He never talked to you about it but when he took you to a regular restaurant it was obvious that you loved going to them because you were always smiling and laughing comfortably whereas you would awkwardly smile and fake a laugh at a fancy restaurant.

Once you two finish eating, you go to his place where he claims to have your gift. You had kept yours in the back of his car. You're really excited to give it to him because you know he's going to love it or at least you hope he does. You give him his gift first and as soon as he opens it he smiles widely. He starts squealing in excitement and gives you a hug and a kiss on your cheek. It made you really happy to see him like this and you being the reason he's like this just adds to your happiness.

"Oh my God I love you!" He tells you while trying to get his gift out of the box. He's too focused on trying to open the box to realize that he just said he loves you for the first time. You're sitting there in shock and not knowing what to do or say.

"Where'd you find this? I've been trying to look for it everywhere." He asks you but you're too busy in shock to answer. When he doesn't hear a reply from you he looks up at you.

"Baby, what's wrong?" He asks still clueless to what he's done.

"You just... You.. Ummm..." You stumble upon your words.

"What?" He looks around him and then at his body and touches his face to see if there's anything on it.

"You said you love me... For the first time." You say quietly. The reason you're so shocked is because this genuinely has never happened before. You've never been with anyone long enough to get to that point nor have you felt that feeling so quickly.

"I did?!" He says. Now he's silent and thinking about what just happened.

"Well I do mean it and not just because you got me this gift. I really do love you. I love how you care for me so much, I love your soul, your mind, your heart, I love that you continued dating me even after everyone, including me told you not to. I love everything about you and there's no denying that." He says while putting his hand over your hand and giving it a squeeze. He then brings his hand up to your face and moves in closer but before his lips land on yours you get up.

"I'm really sorry. I have to go now." You say while exiting the apartment. You ran as soon as you left, hoping he wouldn't reach you. Once you're far enough from his place you stop and look for a bus to get home. Still in shock, your mind is completely blank on the ride home. The bus comes to a halt to pick up a few people. Two girls sit down in front of you. You listen to their conversation just so you wouldn't have to think about Namjoon. One of the girls talks about how tired she is and she can't wait until they go home to sleep for twelve hours.

"My little angel can sleep as long as she wants." The other girl says before giving her a kiss. The sleepy girl puts her head on the other girls shoulder. The other girl puts her arm around her and kisses the crown of her head before saying she loves her. Even though the girl is exhausted she says it back to her girlfriend. You smile as you look out the window but then you frown thinking about how you ran out on Namjoon after he told you he loves you.

You quickly pull the signal cord and the bus stops at the next street. You get off the bus and run back to Namjoon's place. You're so glad Namjoon didn't take you to a fancy place because you would be either barefoot or in painful heels. Then you think about how he took you to a regular restaurant for your third anniversary instead of his favorite fancy restaurant. You begin hating yourself. Namjoon doesn't deserve such a shitty girlfriend like you. He deserves so much better. You stop running and start walking, partially because you're out of breath and you need a break but also because you're thinking about just letting Namjoon live his life happily without you. You think about it some more until you realize how much more painful it is for him to have his girlfriend who he loves, disappear on him. You start running towards his house again. You couldn't leave him without an explanation. Whether he still wants to be with you or not, you need to tell him why you ran out on him. The second you reach his front door, you knock like a mad woman. You just want to apologize to him as soon as possible. The door opens and you freeze as you see Namjoon surprised that it's you. He turns around and quickly wipes the tears you clearly saw and turns back to you.

"Namjoon, I'm really sorry for running off like that. If you let me in I'll try to explain." You watch him move aside, making space for you to walk in and you do. You sit down on the sofa and he sits down beside you after he closes the door.

"I think first I wanna say I didn't run off because I don't love you. I just... Well... No one has ever told me they love me before. I was afraid, I guess." You say as you watch him look puzzled.

"Afraid of what?" He responds.

"Afraid of the unknown? I don't know. Maybe I was afraid of how I'd react?" You're still not exactly sure why you ran away. You're only sure that you know it was wrong and you regret it.

"So you chose to run off?" You open your mouth a bit and then close it again to think.

"Okay you're making it really difficult for me to explain how I feel." You say sounding a bit sarcastic. He laughs and tells you to go on.

"It's just that love is a weird thing for me like I'm okay when you show it but actually saying it out loud scares me a little. Well, saying I love you is one huge step and then there are even more steps after that but I feel like we'll fly by everything and I'm just afraid." You look down at your feet. You both stay quiet for a minute. You're unsure of what he's thinking about but you hope he understands at least a little.

"Do you want to break up with me? Be honest." He says breaking the silence.

"Of course not. I would never even think about doing that." You say without hesitation. You're unsure of everything but this.

"Then what are you afraid of? I'm here, you're here, we can be here together forever." He says sounding confident. You think it's really sweet but it also takes you back to being afraid.

"Forever? Namjoon, you're moving way too fast for me. I like being with you but please slow down." You tell him honestly. You think by telling him how you feel when you feel it will be the best for both of you so that you're both understanding and on the same page.

"Alright, I'll try my best but can you at least promise to never run away from me without an explanation? You really hurt me by doing that. I mean I tell you I love you and you run away taking my heart with you, of course I'd feel hurt." Namjoon chuckles but you can tell it's more of a nervous chuckle. You put your arms around him and rest your head on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Namjoon. I'm a horrible human. Do you forgive me? I don't think it's a good idea to stay together if you're going to hold this grudge against me. I just want you to be happy and if being with me won't do that, then I'll let you go."

"You know I forgive you. I - I really like you." Namjoon smiles. You can tell he was going to say he loves you again but he held back for your sake.

"Are you sure? You're not just saying that because you 'really like' me?" You want to be assured that you're not ruining his life by sticking around.

"Yes, I'm sure. I understand that you're not so open with that stuff and I won't force you to be." You can tell he's sincere and it makes your heart want to explode. He really is a great boyfriend and you wish you weren't so shy when it came to saying "I love you."

"Thank you but also keep in mind that it'll be hard for me to say it back. I really care about you and I would never think about leaving you but it is hard for me to simply say it." You tell him to make sure if he really is one hundred percent sure he wants to stay with you.

"You don't have to worry about that, baby." He says before giving you a hug and a kiss on the top of your head.