Last Hope (Kellin Quinn) {Book 3}

8. f.i.e

Fall Into Eternity

Song: You Hear A Song by Cassadee Pope

I hear this melody coming out all wrong…

~Summer~

Just like a trail,
A boat leaves on choppy waters,
Or footprints,
In the snow or sand,
We all have a past,
That got us where to we are,
Today. 

-s.l

"Maybe one day I'll just let it all go, let every shade of my true colors show. Keep loving me and I'll lose all control, eventually…

"Never wanna be, never wanna be that girl with a million needs, who keeps running your world. Boy, do you lie, when you say I look good tonight?

"I see a mess in the mirror, but you see the girl of your dreams. I see the dark clouds rolling in, but you see the sky I can't see. I hear this melody coming out all wrong, but you hear a song… you hear a song. 

"They keep talking, all the ghost from the past. Heart broken, can't get over it fast. Just give it up, stays around, and it never leaves.

"I see a mess in the mirror, but you see the girl of your dreams. I see the dark clouds rolling in, but you see the sky I can't see. I hear this melody coming out all wrong, but you hear a song… you hear a song. 

"A one note symphony… baby come on, and sing it back to me.

"I see a mess in the mirror, but you see the girl of your dreams. I see the dark clouds rolling in, but you see the sky I can't see. I hear this melody coming out all wrong, but you hear a song… you hear a song… you hear a song… you hear a fucking song," I sang, well sort of. By the end I was talking and groaning because he hears a song. I looked outside of the recording room and sighed. Ian gave me a look that basically told me to try harder as he recorded me. 

I wrote this song back in Oregon. Two weeks after leaving Cali I'm back there to record. I want to put some music out soon, so I figured I could work on it in Infinity Records, where Zack, Blu, Ian, and myself all still work at. I wasn't going to record this song for my album because it's obvious who it's about, but Ian got his hands on my lyric book and begged me to record it. He helped me with the melody, and even though it didn't seem to best song, we got to recording. 

I moved out of the recording box and sat on the leather couch. A chill ran up my spine as my exposed legs touched the cool seat. I guess wearing shorts today wasn't the best idea. Hopefully later though Ian, Trent, Zack, and I will go surfing while Blu and Steve "judge" us. It's been too long since we surfed together. It's been too long since we've all be together to hang out, actually. 

I looked at Ian with a smile. He gave me a knowing grin in return. "Summer, I want to go surfing too. Hopefully we will. I texted the guys and Blu to meet us at the beach."

I chuckled. "Good. It's been-"

"Too long, agreed."

I looked down at my feet, which were covered by a certain pair of black sparkly TOMS. "Hey, I'm sorry about everything that's happened with the band, you know…"

"I know." Ian nodded. 

"Do you ever think about what would happen if the band got back together?" I asked. 

He shrugged. "Yeah, and no. All of us are doing our own thing now. Blu's a mom, Zack's doing modeling for tattoo magazines and stuff, I'm producing, and you're a solo artist now. Steve has a baby on the way and Trent is selling merch for other bands. 

"But I don't think I'd mind being Sorry We're Late back together. I spent my entire life dreaming of playing for millions. We played Warped Tour, the AP Awards, we've been on TV, and so much more. Our fans were devastated when SWL broke up, and just like with My Chemical Romance, no one will forget about our end. Maybe someday… maybe someday we'll get back together, play some awesome shows, and be band again. And it's weird of me to admit it, but I want things the way they were before. I'm glad we're all doing so much on our own, but I want a band back too." Ian's eyes began to water. I was already sobbing, letting out the tiniest of sounds. To be honest I've thought about getting back together too, but there's a few things that'd need to be done. 

"Sorry We're Late can never be the same, Ian. You know that. I've thought about this a lot before and we can always be a band. Hell, my solo record doesn't have to be a solo. We can take all the songs and make them into fast, punk shit. But we can't do that as Sorry because of River."

"I know."

"But we can do that as another band." I finished with a smirk on my face. 

His eyes widened. "What do you mean?" 

"I mean we start a new band. We can't continue Sorry We're Late without River, but we can continue to work together in-"

"Fall Into Eternity," he blurted. 

"What?"

"The band name. Fall Into Eternity. It's perfect. We gotta talk to the guys and Blu about this!"

"Yep!" I giggled in excitement. "Now, lets go surfing, shall we?"

----

Blu, Trent, Steve, and Zack met Ian and I at the beach. It felt like déjà vu seeing surfboards and notebooks to write down scores. Blu and Steve sat down in the sand, near the water, to get a good view. Steve wore a black tank top, which showed off his tattoos, and swim shorts. Blu wore short shorts and a tank top over her strapless one-piece. Trent and Ian removed their shirts so that they were in only swim shorts. Zack already had his off, surprise surprise. I quickly took off my baggy shirt to reveal a dark blue one-piece with straps. I hoped it wouldn't come off as we surfed. 

"Three…" Oh how I missed this. 

"Two…" So many memories…

"One!" Blu and Steve both shouted. The boys and I ran into the sea and had a blast. The water hitting us, the rush surfing gave us, it was all so amazing.  

It's incredible to believe that everything that happened in the past brought us to this; sitting on the beach or surfing all together again. This is a song that sounds right. 

After awhile the boys and I stumbled out of the water, our boards dragging behind us. We sat down in the sand and looked at our scores. Ian, of course, won. He usually does. I don't know if its because he's really good or because the "judges" let him. 

The soft beach sand stuck to my wet body, not that I minded. It reminded me that maybe things can go back. "So," I mumbled, "you guys wanna go eat? Ian and I wanted to talk to you." I playfully winked at my friend. 

Blu, who sat behind me with a notebook in her lap, tapped my shoulder. I turned back to see her worried. "Uh, yeah. For sure we can go eat, but I noticed something just now. You have a lump."

At that moment all the boys rushed to look at my back. Blu pointed to the lump, which I had no clue was there. "Holy crap, that doesn't look good," whispered Trent. 

"Yeah, you should get that checked out when you go back to Oregon," added Zack. 

"I didn't even know it was there!"

"You didn't?" Blu gasped. I shook my head no. "How did you not?!" I shrugged. "Des hasn't noticed it?"

"Well Destery and I haven't really been hanging out lately. I'm busy with stuff and he's got work, and his sister, and Bry-"

"Who's Bry?" Trent wondered. 

"Shh! That doesn't matter right now!" Blu hissed.

"Yes, and neither does this lump. I'll go to the doctors when I go home. For now let's go eat," I said. I didn't want my friends looking at my back through my swimsuit. I put on my baggy shirt, just as the dudes (except Zack) put on their shirts, and we all walked to a small pizza place. We used to come to the pizza place during high school, except for Steve since we didn't meet him until later. 

We sat in a round booth, me feeling completely self conscious because of that lump. What if the worst is taking over? I don't want to be sick. I have my family, my friends, my beautiful daughters, Destery, Kellin…

This can't be! This isn't fair! 

Shut up! I don't even know if anything is wrong, so I shouldn't worry. Maybe my lump is just a sore. Who knows? Exactly, no one. Lets wait until I see a doctor. 

"So, what was it you guys wanted to talk to us about?" Zack asked Ian and I. 

We locked eyes before Ian cleared his throat. "Um, well, Fall Into Eternity."

"What?" our friends all said. 

"It's a band." I smiled. 

"Never heard of them before."

"Yes you have," I told Blu, "because that band is us."

"Whoa whoa, wait what? No!" she protested. 

"Why not?"

"We broke up!" 

"We're not Sorry We're Late anymore. But I don't want to do solo stuff-"

"And I don't want to record other bands my whole life," added Ian. 

"So why not start another band? A pop punk one! SWL is nothing without River, but this new band could be something, even if its just for fun. And I already have songs written up! Instead of putting them out in a solo album we can remake the songs, make them fast and louder, and do this. Blu, you can sing with me and play bass. Zack, you can do your amazing job as the drummer. Ian will play lead guitar, and I'll sing and play rhythm guitar. And there will be no screaming, we can be the pop punk band we said we would be back when we were kids." I don't know what got to me. It just hit me today that being back in a band with my best friends would be better than being by myself. It's been to fucking long since I made music that'd really feel right. I know that the day I put out a solo album my chest will ache. My heart will hurt. My mind will be all over because it's not right. 

Zack and Blu looked at each other nervously. "I'm in!" Trent suddenly yelped. 

"Same. I miss managing you guys," said Steve. 

"I guess… we can see where it takes us." Blu smiled at me. I know that this is something she's into. I know it for sure. 

All eyes turned to the shirtless boy sitting next to me, at the edge of the booth. Zack shrugged. "I don't know."

"Come on, dude! It'll be fun!" Trent exclaimed. 

"I need a smoke," he mumbled. He got out of the booth, and I followed instantly. It was my job to convince him, just like how I convinced him to join Sorry We're Late when we were young teens. 

Together we leaned against the wall. The only sounds were the distant ocean, others talking, and his inhaling. "Can I have a cig?" I asked. He nodded and gave me one, lighting it when I stuck it between my lips. It's been a long while since I've smoked. 

"You look so skinny these days," Zack suddenly muttered. "It makes me worry."

"Don't worry, I'm not back to my old ways. I've just been losing weigh I guess."

"But what if on stage setting happens? Or you get sick and we have to cancel a tour? You can't be a good vocalist, or guitarist, if you do this to us. You need to take action, you know? I like this idea. It shows respect to our resting brother, but also gives us another chance. Plus the fans will be ecstatic. You just gotta promise me that you're serious about this. We aren't little children anymore. You gotta stand your ground and not let something as cruel as an eating disorder take over. Promise?"

I nodded, calmly taking the cigarette out of my mouth. I blew out a puff of smoke and said, "I promise. I'm better now, I swear. I want this just as bad as everyone else." I looked at him with hopeful eyes. "So you're in?"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Of course Sum. When's our first practice?"

A/N: Hey guys! Look, a longer chapter! I hope you all enjoyed this. I CANNOT wait to get to the good stuff! It starts in the next chapter. For now, can I get ten comments? Please and thank you. Also, this is random but I'm getting a tattoo, a small one, and I'm not sure if I want what I was originally thinking of getting. If you have any good ideas or pictures message me on here or kik me at cattspohnEPIC. Love you all.

~Catt