NCIS High School Teenage Years

Chapter 39: Confessions

(Some of the wordings in this chapter are not mine. I took them off fanfictions, so I can't take credit.)

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Today was the day. Today was the day that Tony would ask Ziva to be his girlfriend.
After a week had past after they all returned home from Spain, Tony was waiting for the right moment to ask her. He decided that it would probably be best to ask her when they were alone.
He asked Gibbs for permission to date Ziva, and all Gibbs did was smile slightly and say "It's about damn time". Jenny went over to hug Tony when he told her, and told him "Ziva is a keeper. Don't let her go". McGee patted him on the back and wished him the best of luck.

Now was the moment. Tony spotted Ziva reading on the living room couch. As he walked towards her, Tony felt his heart race. He was extremely nervous.

"Hey Ziva, can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked.

Ziva looked up from her book and studied Tony's face- trying to determine if something was wrong or not. Ziva nodded and scooted over on the couch to give him room to sit down. Tony grabbed her arm and pulled her standing.

"In my room. Please?" He asked nervously. "Please, it's really important".

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"Tony what's going on?" Ziva asked apprehensively, as Tony closed his bedroom door.

"Sit on the bed, please". Tony said, motioning to his bed.

Ziva didn't move. She just raised an eyebrow.

"I just want to talk to you". Tony reassured her. He grabbed her hand, and they sat down on his bed.

"Remember when we had sex?" Tony asked quietly.

Ziva turned her head quickly to look at Tony. "Yes. Of course. What about it?"

"That night, when you were sleeping in my arms, was the best feeling I ever had". Tony took a deep breath, and continued. "I loved that feeling, Zi. When you were in my arms, sleeping, without a care in the world".

Ziva said nothing. She just stared at Tony, confused.

"And I also remember the time when you told me that you slept with Michael".

Ziva's breath hitched, but Tony ignored it and continued.

"I felt betrayed and hurt, Ziva. And I don't know why because it wasn't like we were together, or anything. But I still felt hurt".

"Well, I'm sorry I made you feel that way". She snapped. She started to stand up, to leave, but Tony forcefully pulled her back on the bed again.

"No, that's not what I'm getting at. I'm talking about you, and how you make me feel. I think I love you, Ziva. And I want to be with you".

Tony laughed. "What am I saying. Of course I love you, and I want you to be my girlfriend."

Ziva's eyes widened. "Tony! There is no way you can love me. No one can. I'm broken, Tony. And I'm damaged goods".

Tony watched Ziva hating herself. He knew what she was thinking. Ziva had built a fortress. She was heavily guarded by thick walls, and a moat guarding her against the outside world. The only way to ensure that she was protected was to keep the gates locked, the walls guarded, and the moat deep. Anyone she let into her world could hurt her, They could infiltrate her defenses and attack when she was vulnerable. The most dangerous people were the ones who gained your trust, and learned your secrets, only to come back later with reinforcements, using all their intimate knowledge to attack you.

Ziva had been raised, constantly told that letting anyone in left you weak and open to attack. Giving away any of your secrets also left you open to attack. It was safer to always keep your defenses up, and to keep others out. Ziva had been locked up her entire life. She didn't trust anyone inside, especially not roaming around unescorted. If she let anyone in, it would only be for the official tour of carefully prepared sights.

She was so scared. A fragile heart wrapped in a lethal package. She need that outside armor because her heart was so delicate. She kept everyone out to protect that beautiful heart. She didn't think her heart could handle another attack. Ziva knew what it felt like to betrayed, lied to, used, and hurt. She didn't know what if felt like to be loved unconditionally. And it's easier to stick to the things you know. At least then you know what to expect.

"Ziva, you can trust me". Tony said gently to her. "I won't hurt you".

Ziva bit her lip. "Why?" She asked. "Why do you love me? You shouldn't love me. You deserve someone better. Someone who isn't broken, and can make you happy. Someone who deserves your love".

Tony squeezed her hands. "Ziva, stop". He commanded. "I want you, just you. Why? Because you are priceless".

Tony ran his hand through her hair. "I want to see that enchanting smile that made my head spin the moment I saw it. I want to hear that delightful laugh I fell in love with the moment I heard it. And I want to see the sparkle in your eyes when you are genuinely happy".

Ziva was speechless.

"Ziva, I love you". Tony said again, and kissed her on the forehead.

Ziva played with the hem of her jean shorts. "I don't want to hurt you Tony. What happens if this doesn't work out. I don't want to get hurt, and I don't want you to get hurt". Ziva said quietly.

Tony wrapped his arms around her. Ziva leaned into Tony, and rested the side of her head on his shoulder.

"Remember in Barcelona, when you asked me what a soulmate was, and I didn't have the answer?"

Ziva chuckled and nodded.

"Well, to answer your question, a soulmate is like a best friend, but more. It's the one person in the world who knows you better than anyone else. That someone who makes you a better person. No, actually they don't make you a better person. You do that by yourself because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone you carry with you forever. It's one person who knew you, accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did. Or when no one else would. And no matter what happens, you'll always love them and nothing could ever change that".

Tony then put his finger under Ziva's chin and lifted it so she was looking at him.

"You are my soulmate, Ziva". Tony said quietly, before crashing his lips on hers.

It wasn't a passionate kiss, but a sweet and tender kiss. Full of emotion. Tony broke the kiss, and looked into Ziva's eyes. Her eyes were swimming in tears.

"I can cross number  three off my bucket list". Tony said, grinning.

Ziva smiled slightly. "I didn't know you had a bucket list" She said quietly.

Tony nodded. "I do. And number three is 'Discover the meaning of life".

"So what is the meaning of life, Tony?" Ziva asked, not taking her eyes off his.

"You, Ziva. You are the meaning of life. Because without you, my life would have no meaning". Tony said, and kissed her gently.

"Tony". She whispered hoarsely after their lips separated.

"Yes Ziva?" Tony asked, running his fingers through her hair.

"I love you".

Tony rested his forehead on hers, and smiled. "I love you more".

Ziva placed her hands gently on his cheeks, and nuzzled her nose on Tony's. "No, I do".

Tony grabbed Ziva's hands that were on his cheeks, and held them in front of his mouth. He kissed them softly. "No, I do".

Ziva kissed light, feathery kisses on Tony's neck and jaw. When she reached his ears, she softly whispered "No, I do".

Tony groaned when Ziva sucked his earlobe. "Miss David, you are so stubborn". Ziva stopped kissing his neck and ear and looked at him. A ghostly smile was etched on her face. "Does this mean I win?" She said.

Tony chuckled. "Absolutely not. I love you more than you can possibly imagine".

~Fin~