I think what's strange is that,
When I look at you I am filled with so many emotions.
At first glance, fear. Then hatred.
(Hatred for myself, mostly)
But when I'm faced with you indirectly all I can think about is the past.
Everything. Just running through my mind.
In a way, I'm sort of jealous because I'm not a part of your life anymore. And I'm jealous of the people that get to be in your life.
I don't regret us. I could never regret having you.
(My regret is that I'm such a fuck up)
But deep down I know I can't feel this way. I force it away because being with you means giving up everything.
And maybe if I could feel love,
like a normal human being,
I would be able to make that sacrifice. But I know I can't.
And you deserve someone who can.
-----------------------
Having you was the best thing that's ever happened to me.
It's just so happened to also be the thing that brought my world crashing down.
I just hope that one day, many years from now when I'm out on my own
(Away from strict parents)
If our paths ever cross
I'll be able to look at you and smile
And have you smile back at me.
Until that day,
Bonne chance, mon cher.
~S~
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PoetryA poem book with original poems written by me. Covers a variety of different topics as it is a representation of life as I live and experience it. [Poems that aren't mine will credit the original author] //tw//: self harm, depression, suicidal tho...
