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Nostalgia

I think
Most of a person's life
Is spent
Wishing
Or
Missing

Wishing for:
things to be different
a better life
love
friends
reason
purpose
Something to happen or someone to come along and make your life have meaning.
Change
Things to go back to how they used to be
Simple things like these that just cross your mind

Or

Missing:
People, like J and A
even though they are still standing by me, I miss them more than ever.
How things used to be.
The warm tone of an orange sunset as the leaves have turned shades; a cool autumn breeze rattles the branches and the scent of pumpkin is everywhere.
Sweet melodic music is gently playing in the background as you close your eyes and tilt your head up, a pair of warm arms encasing you as you gently lay your head back on their shoulder and quietly dance along to the beat.
Laying in bed and it slowly sinks because of the new pressure being applied as they slide next to you and stroke your skin, luring you back to sleep.
Cold mornings where the pink sun shines through the window and being warm toasty in bed while watching the calm, steady sun creep higher.
Heavy laughter as we sit in a cold basement and then try to be quiet so we don't wake anyone up.
Peaceful afternoons outside at the park in a hammock or jumping the fence and going down to the creek and getting our clothes soaked in muddy water.
Gathering in circle with some of the people I love the most and each of us telling each other about ourselves and allow us to help each other.
Crying together before a contest and then putting all my emotions into my performance and exiting the field feeling free.
It's these things that make me feel hopeless.

To me
I feel like my life
Is wasted
Missing things that used to be
And
Missing things that will never be

Maybe I should start wishing that I could stop missing.

~S~