Swinging in the trees to the sound of your guitar and the embarrassed flush of your cheeks when I giggled as you sang to me
And my heart melted then and I knew it wouldn't last long. But I held tight and wrapped myself around you as close as I possibly could.
I suppose I held the reins too tightly, for you began to beg for air from someone else's lungs.
All too soon
You cut yourself from me almost as fast as you cut your way into my heart.
(Don't worry about that, I loved you just like that but I knew I had to leave you twice as fast)
I know that you felt it too. I know that you depended on me to pull you back together when you fell apart. I know that I was your crutch, your morphine, your cigarette, your liquor, your comfort to a never-ending ache even though you'd never admit it. I know that you were the raging ocean that only stilled at the sound of my voice and the brilliance of my eyes. And I know that you had to have known that you were my life support, my one great adventure in a barren world of blandness, my carving path to a new life. You made me feel alive and young and reckless and free. And when you took me by the hand and looked at me with excitement on your face and a fire in your soul (like no one had before), I felt it. You sang to me and I knew it was falling apart before it even started.
And I still cherished you.
And I still held you.
And I still kissed you.
And I still felt for you, even though I knew you would hurt me.
I saw it coming 50 miles away and I didn't let go of you until you pushed me away.
(It was so toxic and addicting. I hated it and loved it all at once. You used me and I happily let you)
And that's too bad for you because although you may have this effect on me, you'll never get the best of me. I won't allow it. I left it up for you to decide because, after-all, I did this all for you. And you made your choice so it's time to make mine.
(I'm almost as stubborn as you are, dear)
You can hurt me as much as you want, baby.
You can watch me fall over and over again, my brown-eyed love.
But I'll always get back up again
And you'll never know the difference
And that's a fact you can count on.
So flash me that sweet smile or try to cry to me about your problems.
I may always be here for you,
But now you can't say that I'll be there with you
~S~
YOU ARE READING
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ŞiirA poem book with original poems written by me. Covers a variety of different topics as it is a representation of life as I live and experience it. [Poems that aren't mine will credit the original author] //tw//: self harm, depression, suicidal tho...
