What I've Become

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2:36am
My phone lights up with a message or maybe two

I feel my stomach flutter or twist
And I don't know if it's from excitement or regret

In the heat of the moment it feels so wonderful, I feel young and reckless like a carefree teenager

But then it sinks in and settles beneath my skin and I start to think about it a little harder

I'm so young
What's going to happen because of this?
Am I going to ruin my life because of this one small decision?

My thoughts disgust me
But I love to think them
I love even more to act upon them

But I think what I love the most is regretting everything I've ever done
I can't ever seem to stop doing that

~S~

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