Blank, white ceilings
Cold, running water
Sitting down in the shower
because everything just hits you all at once
Who have I become?
They say only you know your true self
But I don't even know who that is or that's supposed to be.
How could I be so naïve?
To think that I would be capable of actually doing something "normal"
To hope,
To believe that someone like me could make someone else happy.
How in hell did I actually think that I could be lovable?
How the fuck did I ever think that maybe, just maybe, something
(anything)
Would ever work out for me?
I should know better.
Everything turns
Everything goes bad eventually
I can't ever catch a break
And I can't change
What do you do when you aren't enough?
When you are never enough for anyone?
Don't think about it
Don't talk about it
Do what you've always done.
Try to cry
Try to scream
Try to be angry
Try to feel anything
And end up starring at the never-changing white ceiling
And take up all the hot water until the water goes cold
I envy the dead.
~S~
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PoesíaA poem book with original poems written by me. Covers a variety of different topics as it is a representation of life as I live and experience it. [Poems that aren't mine will credit the original author] //tw//: self harm, depression, suicidal tho...
