The bad boy's weakness {Joshaya}

45

Maya

"I...'' He starts then stops, I look at him with hopeful eyes I don't hope I never did but something about Josh made me he made me hope that maybe one day he can change and we can actually be together.I never thought in a million years I would be in South Carolina in a expensive dress with high heels hurting like hell hoping that Josh could change his mind about everything.This is my fault I let my self hope for us when really there is no us and never will be because when you hope you get disappointed. ''I can't.'' His eyes are apologetic, I swear I could feel everything in my body shut down every part of me break.

''Thank you.'' I pull my hand away from his. ''That's all I needed to hear.'' At this point I can't fight anymore over the same thing and getting nothing out of it but hurt constantly over and over again hoping he will change hoping that I can change him.But like my mom says People can't change.Just then a black rang rover pulls up with Theo behind the wheel, I look at Josh once more before getting into the car.

Josh

Addictions.We all have them, some worst then others.

No matter what it may be alcohol, biting nails, smoking whatever it is everyone has one mine however was far more worst something that no matter what I did to forget it, try to ease the pain, the addiction was there... for good. That addiction was a stunning blonde with blue eyes you loose you're self in by the name of Maya Penelope Hart.She saw the good in me believed in me no matter what anyone tried to tell her she stayed.Except for the time I really screwed up and let her slip, I let her slip because I'm so stupid and can't let go of my pride to just open up to her overtime I try It's like the words won't come out like I have nothing to say.

But I would be lying if I said I didn't think about how much better off she would be without me, How much better she is than me or anyone really, How good and pure she is. I remember one time two years ago I was walking down the streets of New York drunk and high off my mind at three in the afternoon and I saw her in central park I just said in my thoughts ''Great my sisters annoying little friend.'' God I was just a idiot back then but I mean I still am, That's not the point she stopped and helped a homeless man giving him food and most people would just give him a dollar and walk away.No not her she sat there in the middle of central park on the ground next to the man talking to him I was high so I have no idea what about but she made him smile and laugh then she smiled at the man and even though I was stoned I could barley walk I just thought ''That smile will be the death of me.'' I shook it to the back of my mind thinking it was just the combination of alcohol and drugs but now I know I always had feelings for the kind, smart, beautiful girl who did anything to help someone or make them laugh when they was at there worst.

All those times she would come over to the house and I would make jokes about her and be a jerk to her in the back of my mind I always just wanted to make her happy...I guess it just took that kiss that night in the elevator to notice it.I wish I wasn't like this I wish I was normal and could just make her happy not hurting her constantly which I always find some way to do.

Getting angry and upset at my self I pull out a cigarette and lit it sitting on the bench that Maya and I sat on earlier.How could one person do this? Makes you actually happy to get up in the morning, makes you wanna be good.

''Josh?'' I hear a female voice from behind me and turn around.