5SOS Preferences

Nervous - Michael Clifford - P4

Both my head and my heart are screaming at me, making it difficult to actually make sense of my thoughts. I know what I want to say - I want to say yes. That much is obvious. I'm worried that this is a test. If it is, I'm probably failing.

"Y-yes." I stammer. My entire body is hot with embarrassment and anticipation. I hope she doesn't notice too much.

Being honest, I'm not sure if this is a great idea.
I would give anything to hold her in my arms as we sleep - but that's the problem. Im worried that I'm not going to be able to stop my self from hugging her body to mine and burying my face in her hair.

Her hair smells so good. It's actually distracting.

[Y/N] smiles nervously and sits up, "good." She says, before getting up and wandering to the chest of drawers in her room.

"I'm gonna get ready for bed." She tells me as she grabs some pyjamas.

I nod, "okay. I will too."

She leaves to change in the bathroom and I release a heavy sigh. She's making me weak; I can barely stand up. My knees are wobbly and threaten to buckle as I change into my pyjamas - just a pair of blue checked bottoms and an old black band tee.

Everything seems to melt away when she steps back into the room. All I can see is her. She's stripped of make up and her hair falls messily around her shoulders. I've never seen her look more beautiful.

And then there's the pyjamas.

They consist of a skimpy blue vest and purple short shorts. It's difficult to pull my eyes away.

How can someone look this good all the time? She's literally about to go to bed and she looks like a damn model. I hate the effect she has on me - my mouth feels dry and the breath has been knocked from my lungs.

I quickly rush out to brush my teeth before she notices how red I've gone and how much I'm staring.

When I return she grins and pats the bed next to her, indicating for me to join her.

I gulp, hard, and force my shaky legs to wobble over to her.

I climb into the quilt and get comfortable, but after that I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I'm completely clueless as to what she wants from me.

The silence is killing me. I need to hear her voice. It'll calm me down.

"Y-you look really good, [Y/N]," I tell her quietly, not intending my voice to come out as a whisper. It's difficult to talk when your mouth is this dry.

Her cheeks turn pink and she giggles. It's the most adorable noise I've ever heard.

"Thanks. I-um- do you wanna lie down? Are you tired?"

"Uh- yeah, we can. I'm not really tired. Are you?"

I've never felt this awake in my life. In fact I don't think I'll ever sleep again.

She shakes her head and moves to lay down, so I copy her. We're laid side by side facing the ceiling, our shoulders touching and our hands within minimal proximity of each other.

I pray that she takes my hand again. Every single atom in my body prays that she takes my hand again.

When I don't feel her fingers lace through mine, I wonder if I should make that move. It makes my heart race a little to think of taking her hand in mine, but I try to stay calm. She won't mind.

I bite down on my lip and go for it.

I get the same electrifying feeling I got last time we touched. It's red hot, but I don't pull my hand away. I'd rather get burnt.

Gently, she squeezes my hand, and I can't resist turning to look at her. I'm met with her wide eyes staring back at me, and it's all I can do not to lean forward and kiss her. If I had the guts I might - but unfortunately I don't.

"You're really beautiful, [Y/N]," I blurt. It's a complete accident - I didn't mean to say it out loud, but she doesn't seem to mind. I've never seen her smile so widely.

In an instant I feel her lips press to mine, and I'm really not expecting it. They're gone almost as soon as they arrived, leaving me desperate for five more seconds.

She's refusing to meet my eyes now - she's embarrassed. She shouldn't be. I don't think she realises just how much I've always wanted that.

My hands are shaking uncontrollably but I'm reaching out to her before I can give it a second thought. I gently turn her head to face mine, and lean forward and kiss her again. This time I'm prepared, so I can try to make it good for her. Our lips move perfectly together, leaving my heart racing faster than it ever has before.

I pull away after a minute, my eyes falling on her swollen lips and bright eyes.

"I love you," I blurt. A strangled sound leaves my throat - there was yet another thing I hadn't meant to say out loud. She just looked so pretty I couldn't contain everything I was feeling.

Now it's my turn to avert my eyes. I'm terrified that she's going to reject me after that inappropriate proclamation of love, even after that mindblowing kiss.

Ten seconds of silence pass, and then she whispers my name. Well, she whispers Mikey, which doesn't help me at all. Each time she says it it sounds better than the last, and I honestly can't get enough of it.

I turn to look at her, nerves wracking through my body and thousands of thoughts whizzing through my mind at a million miles an hour.

To my surprise, she's smiling. It drives me nuts. She drives me nuts.

"I love you too. I always have."

She must be lying. That can't be true. Someone as amazing her can't like someone like me.

How long is always? Surely I would have noticed? I can't organise my thoughts logically - my mind is going mad. It can't deal with the new information it's been handed.

"W-what?" I mumble, my voice shaky.

"You've never seen it, but I have. You're the only person I've ever wanted."

I can't stop myself kissing her again. I never imagined that she could feel the same way I do.

"I love you," I mumble onto her lips. I want to keep telling her forever, to make sure she knows how important she is. "I love you so much."

* * *

happy monday everyone! here's the last part in the Nervous!Michael series, I hope everyone enjoys it! let me know what y'all think and whether you want Luke or Ashton's next! its up to you lot - just cast your votes in the comments!
all the love💓