The unfortunate adventures of Sarah Richards

Chapter twenty-four ~wouldn't it be nice~

*Trigger warning* \\self harm, blades, blood\\
I spent the next few days helping The get her things upstairs and rid her room of the old guest room nick knacks my parents had kept in there in the off chance someone would stay at our house. Lucky for us, Thea's room was on the same floor as mine. Unlucky for us, the floors all over the house were extremely creaky so even though my parent's room was on the floor below, they would still hear anyone moving. and the security camera that guarded the secret room would be able to catch either of us sneaking out of our rooms. Lucky for us, Thea lived here now. Thea was safe. And i was perfectly prepared to spend the rest of my life and beyond with my beautiful girlfriend.
"Where does this go?" I giggled, holding up the yearbook from what seemed to be this most recent school year at Masterman.
"Rubbish, if you want my honest opinion. But, i guess we can't do that, can we? I dunno, top shelf of that book case. Where it'll never get looked at." Thea laughed as she sat on the edge of her bed, folding laundry.
"You don't want me to look at it?" I smirked as i stood on my toes to put it in it's proper place.
"No." Thea answered simply in between one of her many trips from the bed to the wardrobe.
Perks of her getting the guest room, there was already a cool wardrobe, a nice bed, a bookcase, a huge desk and a walk in closet.
"Fiiiine." I pretended to be offended and opened another box after crushing the last one down.
Thea's toiletries. I knew these would go in the bathroom so i carried the box down the hall.
When i finished unloading everything, i found a tiny wooden box at the bottom of a cosmetics bag used to transport shampoo. Being the curious creature i am, i opened it. I shouldn't have.
I really shouldn't have.
It was Thea's blades. All different sizes. Even some in shapes i didn't think razor blades came. Some were still bloody. i felt my throat tightening up as if i would cry so i quickly snapped the little box shut and shoved it in my cargo shorts pocket as i went to stomp down another empty alcohol box.
How would i explain having found those to Thea??
"Th-Thea?" I stammered when i entered her room again after putting her bathroom items away. I must have sounded as scared as i felt.
"Yes, love?" Thea said and looked up from a pile of books she was putting on the shelf.
"I uh, need to ask you where something goes." I  told her. My voice waved as much as a flag in a storm.
"What?" She asked. Indicating that she wished to have knowledge of what the thing was.
I pulled the box out of my pocket and held it out in my hand. I had thought of tossing it over to her but i didn't want her to have it anymore.
I wanted her to get better.
"Just hand it to me." She shrugged. Though i could have sworn i saw her face fall and or go pale at the sight of me holding the box containing her blades.
"No." I said coldly, closing my fingers in a tight grip around it again.
"What?" Thea's voice sounded equally as cold and the look in her eyes when she turned to face where i stood, could have turned me to stone.
"Don't think i don't know what's in here." I said, my voice still a cold mixture between anger and sadness.
"I didn't ask if you knew. I asked if you would hand it to me." She hissed, standing up so she wouldn't have to look up whilst talking to me.
I flinched at the tone of her voice.
Thea stood there glaring at me. Her blue eye seemed to portray more anger than the green or maybe her hair had fallen in her face.
"And i said no." I lowered my voice to match her's in tone.
"Why not?" Thea demanded, putting her hands on the curve of her hips.
"Because i want to help you get better. And if you don't have your blades, that's a bit of a start." I replied, shoving the box back into my pocket and stepping closer to Thea.
"Sarah..." Seemed to be all she could manage at the moment.
"What? Is it not that easy? No, you're probably right, it isn't. I don't know. I've never been there. But i assume if you can't make more cuts, that's a step closer to getting better." I realize i may have rambled a little bit in order to get my point across.
Thea shut her eyes and sighed, she seemed almost annoyed with me. "It's like being addicted to crack or the nicotine in cigarettes," she began, "you become addicted to the pain, to seeing yourself bleed and knowing you've caused it, to being able to control some aspect of your life even if that aspect is pain. You form a habit of cutting every day. Several times a day even. It becomes harder and harder to break..." She stopped when her voice cracked as though she might burst into tears. "So as i stand here getting angry with you, i want you to throw my blades away but i am stuck deep in an addiction to the pain they can cause." She whispered, finally opening her eyes.
"Then i'll throw them out! I'll flush them, i'll burn them, i'll do whatever it takes. Whatever you want me to do in order for you to get better, i'll do it. You have the ability to get better now. Your parents cannot get to you." I pulled her close and felt her body tense up as i wrapped my arms around her. She was still mad. Maybe. And definitely still sad.
"Burn them. And the whole box. Let me watch but don't let me touch. I need to know that they're gone." Thea whispered. Still not hugging me back but rather standing stiff in my arms.
"Okay." I whispered in response, letting Thea out of my arms and leading her by her hand out to our tiny back yard. We had a very small fire pit but it would do well enough to destroy Thea's blades.
I wrapped the box in paper then shoved it amongst the old boards that had been stacked in the pit before pouring gasoline on top of it all.
"Would you like to do the honors?" I asked, handing Thea the box of matches.
She nodded and lit one, tossing it into the pit which, caught flame as soon as the match hit the gasoline soaked wood.
"This is only one small step in getting better. But how glad i am that you've helped me make. That step at all." Thea whispered, grabbing my shirt collar and pulling me down into a long kiss.
If i could suddenly have skipped time to the future of us together and asked her to marry me, i would have.