The exchange

early night

Now finished getting ready for school tomorrow and reading my book I realised Jessica was moving a lot in her sleep, I was about to wake her up when her body calmed down and relaxed, her breathing had become more controlled, she was awake but her eyes remained shut like she was upset or something. “Jessica, you okay?” her head shot in my direction, like she was surprised I was real, like she’d forgotten she was lying on my bed. “Hmm? yeah? sorry, it was just a strange dream.” Her voice croaky because of just waking up made her accent nearly impossible to understand but cute, I wish I could wake up to that every morning. wait, no Luce you don’t, she’s your friend. “alright just as long as you’re okay hun” I smiled and so did Jessica, the quietness got awkward and she just begun to giggle, she just got up and walked out, leaving me totally confused but I simply shrug it off and got back to reading my book.

Jessica and I agreed to have an early night so after tea we sat up for about an hour before heading off to bed. “Up at 7am alright girls?” Rose called as we were making our way up the stairs, Jessica just rolled her eyes and called back “I know mum, gosh” “Oi, be nice Jessica” I whispered as I nudged her. She stopped on the last stair and turned around, one step above me and now the same height, she placed her hands on my shoulders, “Lucy, Call me Jess” She said simply still with a firm grip on my shoulders. I felt that feeling, you know the one when you know you’ve been accidentally pissing someone off and they finally pull you up on it. “Sorry, it’s just someone I used to know was called that and. ah. yeah.” I look down, I hated bringing this up and I really didn’t want to talk about her. Jessica loosened her grip and rubbed her thumb in a comforting way on my shoulder, “Oh, you alright hun?” I flick my eyes up .and made eye contact. “ Yeah I’m fine, how’s Jessie? Can I call you that?” I pull on a fake smile. “Sure, no-one else calls me that but it’s lovlie. You sure you’re okay?”- “I’m fine just a tad tired, bed yeah?” and I pushed gently past Jessie into my room, closed the door, got ready for bed and hit the hay, Jet lag was still hitting me rather hard and I didn’t want to go into my past with Jessie because, it’s the past.

My mind’s racing; about Jess and the past; about Jessie and how I have to do everything I possibly can at school to keep her safe, to stop the bullying; and about tomorrow back at home, if people will even notice my absence. 

Thankfully my sleepy mind started to quieten the thoughts and I could drift off to sleep. “Lucy?” A small whisper said, I knew it was Jessie but I presumed it was simply a semi-conscious dream until she softly nudged me, awakening me from the near sleep. “Lucy, I’m sorry to wake you but I’m lonely and need friend cuddles.” I smile into the darkness, Jessie couldn’t tell but I was so happy that she had actually come in. “Well lucky I’m here ae hun?” I opened up the duvet and she moved under it placed her pillow between us and snuggled into it as well as my arm. I started to drift off again, this time in a much more peaceful mood. “Who’s Jess?” Nope, I was wrong, no longer happy she’d come in because this was one thing I didn’t want to talk about. “Jessie, what happened to an early night?”- “I’m worried about you that’s all and I want to get to know you.”- “It’s the past though”- “yes and I want you to share it.” Her voice had gone from a cute little whisper giggle to a blunt, quiet demand. “alright, last year my best friend, Jess was going out with her boyfriend that her parents weren’t too set on and she loved him, apparently, so much she got a tattoo of his name and so on. Well she got really angry at her parents because they were taking away such things as her phone and computer, keeping in mind she was out having sex, taking drugs and drinking. She ran away from home and anyway long story short, she lived with me for 5 weeks, didn’t speak to me, made up rumors about my family and quite frankly was a right little miss. I have forgiven her and moved on but I don’t ever want to go through what I dealt with again and want no reminders of it. See nothing interesting Jessie, sleep now?” I had told my story and didn’t want to have a conversation about  it. “Oh why didn’t you just kick her out.” I sigh,she wanted more. “I don’t think I could intentionally hurt someone like that, she was my friend and we both  had different interests, it’s no real reason to kick her out. Also I didn’t want her to go live with her boyfriend, I would never trust that guy or any guy in that case.” I sigh and pull up the duvet a little, signalling that this conversation was over, Jessie hadn’t finished though. “Well except your boyfriend right?” I scoff at that stupid question. “What? do you not have a boyfriend?” “No jessica, I do not have a boyfriend, never have.”- “are you gay Luce?” Jessie asked after a pause, she was obviously scared to ask. “What? No, I’m straight just severely attractive.” I was rather awkward about this because the honest answer would’ve been ‘I think so’. “Oh, Well sleep yeah?” Jessie put an sudden blunt end to the conversation which I ignored and I just went off to a well needed sleep.