The exchange

family meeting

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said standing up, I’m not one so stay vulnerable in a situation like this. “Oh c’mon it’s not like we all know, you’re fucking that lil’ lessie girl Jessica.” She hissed at me. "Look you don't know shit about me okay. First of all I'm not gay and secondly don't you dare talk about Jessie like that." I was no longer scared of this bitch, Jessie didn't deserve to be talked about like that so I had to find a way to stick up for her. "She's a good person and is perfection compared to you, she is not going round abusing people for their life, for something they have no choice over so you just shut your mouth or you'll regret walking in this bathroom in the first place." I spat out and pushed passed her before this horrible girl could even get a word in.

I spent the entire lunch time in the library studying for the exams that I knew I would have in store for me when I got back to New Zealand I also thought that Claire, Holly and Jessie were bound to be sick of my face for a while. The bell called out and I headed to fifth which was boring but there was definitely no drama this time.

"Lucy? Do you care to share with me what happened during fourth period today?" Rose said walking in and sitting on my bed just behind my desk at which I was completing homework and studying. I knew Jessie would know but I was expecting her to come and talk to me about it not tell her mum. "Ah.. Rose nothing, no big deal really." I wasn't sure what to do or say but I put a smile on my face and used the best cheerful sounding voice I could. "Okay hun." and that was it she just got up and walked away confused me a bit, I know my mum would’ve done anything to get it out of me. So I turned back around, put my headphones in and continued studying.  Jessie came in about twenty minutes later and tapped me on the shoulder. "Lu babe, we're having a family meeting downstairs and you're part of the family so if you wouldn't mind coming down." She said and just left the room, not only was her behavior confusing me the idea of a family meeting was a totally new concept to me, one thing about my family is that we're not close and a family meeting would never be held. I got up and went downstairs to find Rose, Stephen and Jessie all sitting around the table in the kitchen, I took the empty seat next to Jessie and opposite Rose, keeping my head down avoiding eye contact. "So Lucy clearly you're new to the family and you haven't experienced one of our family meetings but we pretty much go round and share what's been going on and so on, anything that wants to be said can be with no judgment and full understanding. " Stephen said as soon as I sat down, to say the least this felt odd. "Jess would you like to start?" Rose asked kindly getting a simple nod in response. "Well it’s been what, two months since our last family meeting? And it’s been a wonderful two months with my amazing new friend but I’m worried about her. I’m not sure what to do.” She said it as though I wasn’t here, she didn’t look up at me, Rose and Stephen just nodded like they didn’t know who she was talking about. “Well dear, that’s not good. Have you told your friend that you’re worried about her?” Stephen asked. “No I haven’t.” Jess looked up at her parents but continued to acknowledge my existence. “Can I say something?” I spoke up. If they were going to talk about me in third person I had to pretend I was looking in on this situation and not being apart of it. Jessie darted her head towards me, like I was someone she only imagined and all of a sudden I was real. no-one said a word but continued. “Jessie I think you should tell your friend that you care because maybe she doesn’t know. Not everyone one can read others minds ya’ know.” I looked her dead in the eye. “But- but she should know, I care for everyone and she’s going through a hard time and I know she wants to talk about it but she’s scared. She should know I care how can she think I don’t?” She rambled on, she was shocked at what I had to say. “I don’t know Jessie. It sounds like you’re on to something there really you do. If I say someone who was going through a hard time I would care for them. But like I said maybe she doesn’t know or maybe she doesn’t want to believe it.” I was scared to say the least, Jessie had me all figured out and I’ve barely done so myself. “Well it sounds like Lucy had some good things to say on this Jess, maybe you should tell her that you’re worried.” Stephen concluded. “Well thank you Lucy. So what has been on your mind?” Rose continued. This is something I wasn’t used to, I don’t like talking about my feelings or anything like that. “ahh well not a lot. I’m just happy to be here in an amazing family home. It’s nice and something new. I’m also happy there wasn’t too much culture shock, I didn’t think there would be.” I smiled, I didn't like to lie, I wasn’t lying I just wasn’t sharing all my thoughts. “Well that’s lovely dear, I’m happy you feel comfortable here, I really do but in all honesty I was hoping you would tell us what happened today in fourth period.” Rose said still smiling. I felt uncomfortable but I had to say something I didn’t want to seem like I was unhappy or under any extreme stress. “Ah well I was sent out because I was paying attention, which was silly of me. I’m just feeling a bit homesick that’s all and it’s no excuse.” I laughed it off, in some ways that’s true, like I was missing home, well missing the crazy illusion that my friends love me. I dropped eye contact with Rose, I didn’t like to look week. “Are you sure that’s all?” Rose asked, I could feel tears starting to fill my eyes; I kept my head down, blinked them away, slapped on a fake smile and nodded. “Well, okay. This was a good family meeting, if you girls want to go you may.” Stephen said, worry filled his voice. I smiled, got up and went to my room. As soon as the door clicked shut tears filled my eyes, I just fell onto the bed and pulled the cover over my head.

I was just looking out the window, watching the snowfall, it was getting late in the year and it was a new level of cold for me. The house was silent, apart from some people talking downstairs; there was no tv or music playing. It felt weird. Someone knocked on the door, I just kept looking out the window. “Lu? I know you haven’t left your room. and it’s what five? youre not asleep and I’m coming in okay.” I didn’t say a word, Jessie could come in I wasn’t going to stop her. She sat down at the end of my bed, I didn’t even turn around, I was still stuck, sitting on the small chair, wrapped in my duvet watching the snow. “Lu, babe? what’s  up?” She asked, now I knew she was worried about me, it was far more evident in her voice but I didn’t respond I couldn’t. I just shook my head, kept shaking it like that’s all I ever knew what to do and I stopped once is resided between my closely tucked legs. “Luchia, look at me.” Jessie voice was a lot sterner. I moved my head to the side but remained leaning on my knees, I hadn’t spoken a word. I felt cold and numb and I couldn’t speak. “I was talking to someone and tha said I should tell you that I’m worried about you. I can see that you’re not coping and I want to know why Lu, I care about you and I can't bare to see you struggling. So right now you are going to tell me what happened during fifth period today and then you are going to tell me how you got those scars.” Jessie spoke with kindness, she was firm but kind I felt safe. “Ok.” I whispered weakly and I got up to join Jessie at the end of my bed. I knew this wasn’t going to be a quick conversation and I didn’t was Jessie to get cold.

A/N I didn't proof read this. I'm tired and yeah. Don't hate... pleasse tell me what you think (: