The exchange

I'm good.

I explained everything to Jessie, I could hear her start to cry when I said “my scars, most of them are self inflicted. I’ve been through unnecessary pain Jessie, that’s why I never want to see you do what you did, that’s why I made you promise that you wouldn’t do it again.” I hadn’t looked up, I just carried on emotionlessly, I knew all my problems were stupid and nothing that should ever be able to explain my actions. Once I finished telling Jessie all my life I just stop and sighed; I didn’t look up or move. “I’m sorry.” Jessie’s voice pulled me out of the empty world I had transported myself to. I finally looked up at her and smiled, “no reason to be sorry, none of that is your fault.” I reassured. “Oh.” Jessie sighed out, “can you tell me what happened today? I see you left that out.” The only reason I didn’t say anything is because; one, I don’t want her to think I miss home, I don’t and two, I don’t want her to know what that girl in the bathroom said. “Ahh, uhm. I, well, just. It’s my friends none of them have talked to me. it sucks. I got stupidly upset about it and I went to the bathroom. There was this girl who was being quite frankly a bitch, I set her straight and then went on with the rest of my day.” I said it all quickly like I was a nervous junior student saying their speech, all in one long sentence. “Lu. What’d she say?” Jessie’s face grew with concern. “It doesn’t matter, like I said I set her straight. Okay? I need to go get a drink.” I quickly got up and walked downstairs, I felt empty and lifeless but I did need a drink.

 

I was filling up my glass, my hand was trembling and I just didn’t know why. I took a sip and tipped it out in the sink. I wasn’t thirsty, I rinsed the glass and left it on the bench before quickly heading upstairs to face Jessie again. “Oh Rose, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were right behind me. Sorry, so sorry.” I walked right in to Rose, looking like an idiot. “It’s okay, no need to be so sorry.” Rose said putting a comforting hand on my shoulder and smiling I smiled back and walked back to the stairs awkwardly. “Lucy, in this family just know, we all care and you can tell us if you’re not okay. You know that right?” Rose said still looking at me as I was about to take the first stair. I smiled and managed to get out a thank you before going back to Jessie.

I walk in the roos with a weak smile on my face. Something has just clicked inside me, it’s like all my worries had eased, not gone but I felt strong and it felt nice. “What are you smiling about? You alright there?” Jessie pulled me out of my daydream. “I-I’m good.” I said, my voice cracking. Jessie held me tight as I just started to cry, I really was happy though. “You’re strange, you know that baby?” Jessie pulled out of the hug as did I, I could still feel the smile on my face, I was happy. I pulled my sleeve over my hand so I could wipe dry my face,I nodded “I know” I let out a small laugh and sniffed a bit. I felt so much better, all my pain was still there but something hit me, hope and love.

“Do you girls want a hot chocolate or a cup of tea?” Stephen asked us, we both turned away from the tv. Jessie’s eyes meet mine, I nodded slightly. “Could you please make us a hot chocolate each?” Jessie answered. “Oh woah no. I was just asking if you wanted one,I wasn’t offering.” Said Stephen with a serious face, but you could see the burning laughter in his eyes. “Oh real funny.” Jessie rolled her eyes. “Oh I was only kidding, I’ll make you one now.” and with that he walked out into the kitchen. Jessie looked at me, “Dad jokes” we said in unison. It’s been close to four months since I had the heart to heart with Jessie, everything was good, I was happy and Jessie was happy; the only thing that really sucked is that I was flying back to New Zealand  in less than a week. I didn’t want to go back. Two of the girls talked to me in all this time, before this would’ve sent me into a spiral of rage and depression but I didn’t care anymore, they weren’t my friends and that’s fine.

“Are you two ready for tomorrow’s performance?” Asked Rose looking up from some paperwork she had to do. “ahh, err yeah.” Jessie and I kinda mumbled out, we had performed in music and our teacher wanted us  to perform it at my last day at school in assembly. I know I was a ton of nerves and I think Jessie was just scared of what her classmates will think, even worse though is I now have to sing the chorus along with Jessie. “well do you think you two should go practice?” Rose followed up. Jessie sighed and we both went up stairs to practice, which in the end is useless, we know what we’re doing we will just never be properly ready, well I won’t Jessie was born for this. We had gone over the song like 6 times when we thought we should stop, we were just lying on Jessie’s bed in silence. “I’m going to miss you Jessie.” I sighed. three days left and I will probably never see my best friend again. “I’m going to miss you too babe. You have to promise me something okay?” She sat up and I did the same thing, she knows I’m not good at promises so I knew confusion would be evident on my face. “Hey, nothing bad. I just want you to promise me that you’ll stay in touch. okay? I mean it.” Jessie laughed. “Jessica Cornish. right here, right now I promise you that you will remain my friend.” I laughed, Jessie raised her pinkie and I joined mine with hers with a massive smile on my face. “Early night, huh?” Jessie asked letting go on my hand. I nodded, stood up and gave Jessie the biggest hug I could. “Thank you. Jessie.” I let go and turned around to go to bed. “for what?” I simply chuckled. “Shh, sleep time now Jessie.” With that I walked out and we both went to sleep.

A/N I KNOW IT'S BEEN FOREVER! I'm sorry, I really I am. I have been feeling like shit but here is a peace offering. I know it's peicey and all over the place.. p.s this is not the end :) like there is a lot more to come. ahhh So yeah sorry. tell me what you think (: (also it's not edited and I wrote it over many nights and days)
Love Sapphire xx