➵ dear dad

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Dear Dad,

I hope at least you're sober enough to at least comprehend these words.

When I was a child, and you didn't drink, I had always believed in those fairy tales you narrated to me at bed time. Night times were the part of the day I looked forward to most, and listening to the beautiful stories tranported me into world where everything was pretty and perfect.

But soon through the hard way, I learned that fairytales were just that - tales and stories, fiction and myths that were woven with words that tried to pull you under and drown you in false hopes. Nothing in real life ever ended the way it did in the fables.

This lead me to wonder, if that wasn't the ending? If their author had conveniently cut the story where they felt happy, not wanting us to know the harsh truth about life?

And I suppose that is true.

I used to believe in fairy tales because it felt like I was living one, complete with the perfect doting parents and a few close friends.

But that vision shattered the day you came home drunk for the first time. I couldn't really understand what was happening, what with you shouting at my mom to get away from you.

You weren't recognizable Dad, and it scared me to death. I was only eight years old after all.

That was just first of the many horrible nights to come.

After a few months, you were this man again, one who didn't care for his child or wife.

And after another a year or two, this became routine in our house - you coming home late and shouting at mom, while she started sending me early to bed so I didn't have to hear any of it.

But what she didn't know was that I did hear, I never slept, always crying silent tears.

You broke this family and more over you broke mom. She gave you everything she had, did everything she could, was everything you wanted her to be, yet that wasn't enough for you, was it?

I watched helplessly as mom tried to get things back to normal and I saw when she gave up. It hurt her more than anything else.

As for me, I couldn't stand to see you. You were supposed to be my guardian, the one who I would go to if the world was scaring me.

But unfortunately, you became the monster I had feared I would find in this world with it's dangerous nooks and cranies. You were the one that betrayed me in the worst way possible.

But I forgive you dad, in the hopes that you will find yourself again and give mom something to look forward to everyday.

Love,
Scarlett

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